


Yellow

by aypreal



Series: Otayuri: A Playlist [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Crushes, Depression, Drama, Eventual Smut, Fame, First Love, Fluff, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Reconciliation, Romance, VictUuri, Viktor with a K, bad boy!yuri, manager!viktor, manager!yuuri, mentions of drug and sex, nice guy!otabek, otayuri - Freeform, popstar!yuri, roadtrip au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2018-12-15 01:04:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 52,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aypreal/pseuds/aypreal
Summary: “Help!” He screamed after pushing the doors of the diner open before he continued running. “Help!” The driver of the truck just happened to finish loading his vehicle when he looked up to the running blonde. “Help me! I’m being kidnapped, help me!” Yuri was running as fast as he could and when he looked up to look at the driver, at least he looked worried enough.He looked hot.Or the run-away-pop-star-helped-by-a-nice-guy/roadtrip AU no one asked for.





	1. So then I took my turn, Oh what a thing to have done

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a geographic-idiot so there will be no mentions of places from Point A to point B. Although I did my research on the estimated time from Astana to Piter by car. I'll try to be as accurate as possible, if you would like to correct something, drop me a hint and I'll try to adjust as much as I could.

Yurachka was trouble _(note: Yuri Plisetsky in real life)._

No one can really blame him for it. After all, at age 10, his clock was already booked for stage performances, tv appearances, and multiple show guesting instead of playground visits, sleepovers and ice cream breaks. He was a child prodigy. At that age however, he serenaded hearts with his brilliance on the piano and the cello and the violin. He was a crowd favourite. Who wouldn’t like the little ‘cherub’ who brought heaven’s hymns to earth? With his pretty blonde hair and blue-green eyes and pixie baby face?

He was heaven sent. 

Yurachka was trouble.

Now, age 23 — on his way doing tour number whatever, unlike his angelic 10 year old self though, this time, Yuri Plisetsky was riding the high of a world known pop star. Why the genre rebirth you ask? Keeping up with the limelight was not easy so when age 15 came along and Yuri was starting to lose his crowd favourite crown, Mama Plisetsky signed him up for voice lessons. Yes, Yuri can actually sing and with the right connections, Yuri was covered in glitter, backed up with dancers and voice slightly fixed with auto tune. 

Age 20, the high of the stage, the fans, the fame was wearing off. So hello to the cliche bad habits of a celebrity. Girls, boys — whatever he feels like doing. Drugs, money, and perhaps a gallon worth of arrogance. His mother did not approve of the bad habits of course but it kept the money rolling and their name on head lines so she kept her mouth zipped. She left the scolding and the cleaning to Yuri’s management. 

Yurachka was trouble. 

Currently, Yuri wasn’t even sure where he was. He wasn’t even sure what month, what day he was on for this tour. All he knows was that they covered Europe first, then Asia and lastly, back home for him. _Somewhere in Asia_ , he guessed. Maybe somewhere near Russia. 

He could have spent the lulling days of the tour high on sex. Yuri also knew better than to call a groupie along — after the last fiasco of some paparazzi trespassing his room because his fuck for the night decided that they wanted to lengthen their night of pleasure by having the stalking camera men get a shot of themselves being kicked in the ass off the bed by Yurachka; Viktor, Yuri’s manager, all but forbid him from even getting a groupie ever since.

Drugs was even off the table. After his 1st rehab, he got bored of it easily, then he decided that it wasn’t worth the rehab time even how much pleasure the high brought him. 

Yurachka was trouble.

He was born to perform. So far that stage addiction was the only thing that keeps him going. So far, it hasn’t lost its flair yet. Unlike the girls, the boys, the drugs, the limelight — everything else. He was an artist who was always on the move. 

Yuri wished that he can transport to different places in a snap. It would make the tour dates much shorter and imagine the money they could save from gas or plane tickets alone. The amount of it may even have his mother off his back for a couple of months. 

At present, Yuri was in a diner, breaking from the never ending days on the road. It was in the middle of nowhere and his manager deemed it safe for his bus to stop by to refill its tank and to have the people they were travelling with some off time from the stress of travelling for hours. 

Bus number 2 and 4 left around 30 minutes ago. So only bus number 1, Yuri’s own, was left. Bus number 1 contained the artist himself, his manager (Viktor), his Asian tour manager (Viktor’s husband, Yuuri) and the driver (whose name Yuri never bothered to remember). The lack of security was Viktor’s decision. It was after all — nowhere. Who would ambush Yuri in a place like that anyway? And if there ever was a group of fans, Viktor and Yuuri were more than enough to have Yurachka to safety.

But the two of them, who promised Yuri some entertainment by bringing him into the diner by the gas station, were so lost into each other that it only brought the blonde disgust. 

Maybe it was the stress talking. Albeit, the couple would disgust Yuri on a daily basis. His level of boredom was different now.

Yurachka was trouble. It was embedded into his very DNA.

Which might be the reason why he did what he did. 

Viktor and Yuuri were smooching each other off in front of him and the driver, who was on a different booth, was busy with his 3rd crossword puzzle when finally, a pickup truck drove into the gas station. Yuri watched it in interest. _Finally, something to look at._  

There was something on the back of the truck, something big and covered in tarp but that was only a small detail for the pop star. Yuri only raised a brow to that. What peeked his interest was the driver who just went out of his car to load his truck.

The blonde took a peek at the lovebirds and the driver again, all busy. He took a deep breath. He’s going to cause trouble. Enough trouble that it might even save his sanity from boredom for a week or two. Maybe a month if he was lucky. He made sure he still had his IPhone with him when he finally did it. 

He ran for his life.

 

 

 

 

“Help!” He screamed after pushing the doors of the diner open before he continued running. “Help!” The driver of the truck just happened to finish loading his vehicle when he looked up to the running blonde. “Help me! I’m being kidnapped, help me!” Yuri was running as fast as he could, when he looked up to look at the driver, at least he looked worried enough. 

He looked hot.

“Help me!” Yuri neared the truck and he grumbled when he saw the guy entered his truck like a coward. 

“Yuri!” Shouted Viktor.

“Yuri, what are you doing?!” Followed up by Yuuri. They must have ran after him after he slammed the door hard enough for them to get out of their little disgusting bubble.

Yuri was determined though, he continued his act until he neared the truck. He was almost convinced that his fun would be cut short until the passenger’s seat popped open — inviting him in. “Get in,” the driver said, eyes fixed on the road already.

He didn’t hesitate on jumping in. He didn’t think about how much trouble he’s causing everyone nor that he could potentially endanger his life. He had a good feeling about this and currently, that was the only thing that mattered. 

“Yuri, no!”

Yuri closed the door before the driver sped the car to hit the road.

Viktor and Yuuri’s voices faded away.


	2. I swam across, I jumped to cross for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: DERAGATORY WORDS AND ATTEMPTED RAPE

Yuri finally stopped looking at the rearview mirror when the gas station, the diner, Viktor, Yuuri, and everything that revolved around his tour, faded from view. He slumped further into the passenger seat and released a relieved sigh. His body was flushed from running, his lungs burning from the sudden exertion, his heartbeat jumping, and his hands were slightly shaking from the overwhelming emotion of what he did.

He really did it. 

He finally found a solution to sate his boredom for a couple of months. The adrenaline of running away from his career, his management — the life he has known for years, for a couple of hours will bring him life for the upcoming weeks. 

A reclamation of control on his life; that same control that was taken from him since his mother shoved his talented ass into the entertainment stage for talent scouts to feast on. The addiction of the feeling was unlike giving his body and mind to drugs, sex, and gambling. When he did those vices, it was a form of surrender. This was different. 

Yuri hid a maniacal smile into his hands which were covered by the overgrown sleeves of his thin jacket. He stared at the never-ending lands that stretched just beyond the truck, the road that seemed to take forever to reach the end of; this, this he can hold unto for a couple of hours. Let himself believe that he has this. That he wasn’t a bratty popstar. At least until Viktor finds his sorry ass and drags him back to where he belongs. 

“You okay?” The voice was deep. And Yuri was reminded of his ticket-way to this momentary freedom. He slowly turned to look at him. 

From the diner window, the guy was handsome; up close though, the driver was gorgeous. His profile was a work of art and Yuri had seen a lot of beautiful people in the industry he grew up in: eyes that never strayed from the road, a straight nose, full lips, sun-kissed skin and a jaw line that can cut through ice. Yuri was lucky and the man was beautiful enough that he will not hesitate to extend his stay if he played his cards right. 

“I’m fine.” He finally answered. He almost forgot to answer back, too mesmerised by the driver to actually respond right.

The man looked at him for awhile. Long enough to actually endanger their lives if the road was less empty of speeding vehicles or potential roadkill, and Yuri consciously tucked a lock of hair to behind his ear. 

Popstar or otherwise, Yuri knew he was beautiful. However, popstar or otherwise, the man’s gaze was checking him out — head to toe. It should disgust Yuri, but it didn’t. Instead, there was an urge to be more presentable looking in front of this man. Like he wanted to impress him. Maybe because he wanted to get dick during their limited time that he did.

There was something on those molten dark chocolate that bothered him. 

“You don’t look injured.” The man concluded before going back to speeding his truck on the road. “You said you were kidnapped. The men that ran after you, do you know them?”

For a moment, Yuri had to process what the man said. He was tempted to say, _fuck them,_ because it’s Viktor and Yuuri. It was his natural reaction, until he remembered how he screamed, ‘help me’ and ‘I was kidnapped.’ “No,” Yuri answered, “I don’t know them.”

“Okay. That’s understandable. Are you comfortable enough to go to a police station, or perhaps a hospital? You don’t look injured, but there’s nothing wrong with making sure that nothing’s hurt.” The man answered without looking at Yuri again. 

There was indifference in his voice. He seems like the type of guy to not care. Yuri won’t be surprised if he was. With that fuck boy haircut, leather jacket, and a bad boy aura; he can have an asshole personality just to match the stereotype for all Yuri knew. But after being in the industry for so long, the popstar somehow developed a sixth sense in reading people.

There was indifference, yes, but there was a tiny drop of concern, too. 

This man won’t have a lesser supply of fuck buddies with those looks, so it can’t be Yuri’s ass he was after. And who rescues blondes from potential kidnappers out of nowhere anyway? In the world they live in where anyone can be a mugger or a psycho killer clown during the night? 

“Um, no.” Yuri answered. “I don’t want to stop over anywhere. Just continue driving.” He should put a zipper on his mouth. He can always turn on his GPS so Viktor can track his sorry ass but he wasn’t willing to be kicked out of the truck in the middle of nowhere while he awaited for his unwanted rescue. 

“Alright.” With that, the other man just stopped his inquiries. 

What if this man was really a psycho killer clown? What if he was one of those stalking fans that never understood the meaning of privacy for their idol? What if he worked for the black market? Will his kidneys cost double because he was famous?

 _Yurachka was_ in _trouble._

He should have thought it over. _It was a good idea then,_ he thought as he readied his phone just in case he needed to speed dial Viktor. 

He should have thought how dangerous his deed was. If the man was either a fan or a member of the press or even just recognises him, his career would undergo another roller coaster he wasn’t really ready for. If the man was really a psycho though, then it was a good thing that his will was already arranged. 

Unless.

Yuri looked at the man again, suddenly there was a third _what if._

“I’m Otabek, by the way.” The man said. “I don’t chop people for fun, nor sell their organs at the black market so please stop looking at me like I’m going skin you alive so I can wear your face as my next mask.”

Yuri blinked. He could pretend to not know Yuri but his sixth sense was not even tingling. 

“I’m…” Yuri swallowed, it has been awhile since he has to introduce himself. “I’m Yuri.” _Everyone knew Yurachka._

“Nice to meet you, Yuri.” Otabek looked at him for awhile and gave him a nod. “I know that I just saw you running out from a diner, but are you hungry? I’m not even sure if they managed to feed you.”

“I’m not hungry,” His throat though, “But I can do with some water.”

“Alright,” Otabek finally slowed down the truck after speeding up for so long. He reached to the backseat and grabbed a bottle of water. “It’s not cold anymore, but it should do.” He passed it to Yuri who immediately hoped that it wasn’t poisoned.

The bottle cap was not broken yet. Yuri consumed half the bottle.

“I might sound nosy, but are you sure that you’re okay?” Otabek asked again. “I mean… Kidnapped?”

Of course. _Shit_ , Yuri only knew basic acting. “I’m… I’m not really sure what happened as well. But I’m okay. Nothing hurts.”

“Do you remember anything? You know, before you got abducted? Where you’re from?”

“I’m from St. Petersburg.” It wasn’t a lie. He was really situated in St. Petersburg. His flat was there, the studio, his biggest fan base… What Yuri wasn’t sure of is why he kept on lying when it was easier to say the truth to Otabek. “I was there before the kidnapping happened… I think.”

He was creating a storyline and it was crazy. But he can’t stop lying.

“I’m going to St. Petersburg actually.” Otabek said, “Passing Moscow then to St. Petersburg.”

Moscow? _Grandpa._

“How many days were you on the road?” Otabek asked when Yuri didn’t reply. “Do you know?”

“No.”

“Did they tell you where they will be taking you?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Otabek concluded. Forget handsome, the man can’t stop talking to Yuri. Maybe his assumption about Otabek being a total stranger was inaccurate. Maybe Otabek was really a secret fanboy and it was his way of making Yuri comfortable around him before he sold his location to the paparazzi and get his own night of fame. 

Yuri stopped looking at the driver and turned to look at the mirror. They’ve been driving for at least an hour already and Yuri has yet to see a single sign of life anywhere. He won’t know. His life revolved around a tour bus for months and looking out the window while travelling lost its appeal after the first half of his first tour. 

His phone was vibrating. He didn’t look at it. It would be either Viktor or Yuuri. He wasn’t feeling  threatened so far and his fill for excitement hasn’t been enough yet. 

“My mom used to tell me that talking to someone with anxiety sometimes help.” Otabek started again and Yuri turned to look at him. Gosh, he was really handsome. “I don’t know what happened to you nor do I know how it felt like, I guess I just want you to know that you’re safe with me. Until you figure out your next move.”

Yuri frowned. 

He had a say on this?

Otabek should demand to be his knight in shining armour and take responsibility for opening the passenger’s seat for Yuri or at least kick him out of his car to rid of said responsibility. But he’s not. And Yuri was suddenly sure that Otabek was really a stranger to the concept and identity of Yurachka. 

“Why are you so nice to me?” Yuri asked. 

Otabek smiled. It was little but it was a smile nonetheless, “You were kidnapped. It should be a given. You suffered enough.”

Yuri can’t believe it. Will not believe it. 

A lot of people has been nice to him — they all fucked him over once or twice. Trust was a thing that’s hard to give once it was broken and Yuri has learned his lesson many times. Some lesson hurt more than others.

 _You’re a fucking hypocrite Plisetsky,_ he thought. There he was thinking about trust and shit when he was only sitting there on the passenger seat only because Otabek took pity on a kidnapped kid. 

“You must be exhausted,” Otabek said before reaching out the backseat again to grab something. It was a blanket. He gave it Yuri who reluctantly accepted it. “Go to sleep. The next town will be hours away.”

Yuri didn’t want to sleep, but he was getting exhausted. The adrenaline was wearing off and it pulls a lull on his body like no other. The last thing he remembered was that his GPS was still off and his phone was still vibrating from calls.

 

 

 

 

When Yuri woke up, the truck was parked neatly in front of what looked like a restaurant. The driver was nowhere to be seen and the popstar was hit by a light panic. It was night time already — somewhere pass nine if the clock on the dashboard could tell him anything.

The street was mostly empty but the restaurant seemed occupied by people. _Getting out would be a bitch,_ Yuri considered. There was a very high chance of someone recognising him even if the place looked too urban for his PR to even consider marketing. Yuri won’t be risking it though. “Where the hell is that Otabek guy?” He asked to no one in particular.

He had no idea what time he started his dramatic run away and if that guy won’t magically appear in a couple of seconds, Yuri would seriously have to end the whole fiasco early. 

He could happily just wait his ass out for Otabek to come back. His things were still there in the car. “Idiot,” Yuri muttered, “What kind of stupid are you to leave your things with a stranger?” Otabek was lucky that Yuri was no mugger. Anyway, back to the situation. Yuri was happy to wait for him to come back but his bladder had different plans of course. 

His stomach was growling too. Oh well, maybe he can ask Otabek to feed him for awhile and he can just have Viktor pay him back when he’s done with everything.

Looking around — and squinting while he does it, he found a washroom just situated a few yards from the parking area. “Why have the washroom outside the restaurant?” Yuri asked himself. “Maybe it’s for idiots like me who can’t afford to pay his way into using the washroom inside the restaurant itself.”

Huffing, he opened the passenger door and actually hesitated from going out. “Why the fuck are you hesitating? You impulsively stepped into a truck going who knows where, what makes going to the bathroom different?” With that thought in mind, Yuri stepped out of the truck and made sure he didn’t lock the door so he can still climb back in once his bladder was satisfied.

Clutching his thin jacket closer to his body, Yuri began the short trail to the bathroom. Upon closer look, the bathroom was full of vandalism and the young singer won’t be surprised if drug trade transactions or quickies happened in the small tiled room. Frowning and swallowing the urge to demand a use of the restaurant's bathroom and say goodbye to his temporary invisibility, he entered the bathroom. 

The smell was overwhelming and Yuri had to press the sleeve of his jacket closer to his nose. He braved on still. He found the ‘cleanest’ stall, opened his fly, and emptied his bladder.

Yuri can’t remember the last time he was forced into a bad accommodation. Everything was always  spick-and-span for him. He was, after all, a diva and his demands were always met. At least, Viktor made sure of it. Now though, as he closed the zipper of his jogger pants, he shuddered at thought of ever appreciating Viktor’s efforts to keep him as comfortable as possible. 

He went out of the stall and hoped to hell that the sink works. He turned the faucet and water flowed — light as it was, but it was still water. Yuri washed his hands as much as he can with the light flow of water. 

“Well, well, well…” A grumpy voice made Yuri look at the mirror above the sink. He was met with a man that has a dirty look on his face. He was wearing a shirt that seemed to soak in at least 5 days of sweat, and Yuri was sure the man can’t remember the last time he trimmed his beard. “Ain’t you a pretty little twink.”

He was leaning on the doorway of the bathroom, successfully blocking Yuri’s way out. He had a bottle of whiskey on one hand and the counterpart was groping something on his thigh. Yuri hoped it was a vegetable.

Yuri glared at the man through the mirror. He turned off the faucet and tried to shake off the excess water from his hands, seeing that there was no sign of tissues anywhere. The man was drunk off his ass and Yuri crossed his fingers that the man was not active on the entertainment part of internet. He was safe on that at least, the man seemed to surf a different type of entertainment seeing he called Yuri a twink, at least he knew his categories. “Fuck off, perv.”

The man didn’t seem to like that. He stepped off the doorway and walked three steps towards the young popstar. “Now, do watch your mouth there, fag. Or your mouth won’t be the only thing I would be stuffing…”

Hearing that and seeing that the man was getting closer, Yuri stepped back. He had his own share of perverted maniacs in the industry but Yuri always relied on his bodyguards to actually do their fucking jobs. 

“There…” The man was a lot closer than Yuri was comfortable with. He could practically taste the whiskey on his breath alone, “Now you look pretty again with your mouth shut.” Then without any kind of warning, the man gripped Yuri’s upper right arm. It was a strong grip, and Yuri actually worried that it will leave a bruise. He was not even able to stop the whimper that the pain caused. 

“Now, on your knees, twink. I hope you suck good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GASP. What will happen? Stay tuned, LOL.


	3. Your skin, Oh yeah your skin and bones

Yuri’s heartbeat was thundering. Panic was gripping his entire being but he can’t stop from glaring at the pervert.

Yuri Plisetsky does not cower despite the tears that formed in his eyes as he shook out the pain and refused to let out another whimper. 

“Didn’t you hear me, boy?” The man said again, “I said kneel!” Yuri felt his arm being pushed down. The man wanted him on his knees and Yuri refused to do so. His arm was getting numb however. 

“Get off me, pervert!” It will bruise, that was for sure. He tried to push the man off him but even drunk, the man was almost twice his size and definitely stronger. 

“Stop it, faggot!” The man yelled back; but when Yuri did not do as he was told, he slammed Yuri to the nearest wall. The blonde's whole body trembled at the impact. “If you don’t want it easy, I can always take everything by force.” Yuri’s eyes widen at that, fear gripped his entire being. Then hands, slimy hands, gripped the waistband of his pants. 

His heart rate was getting crazy. 

“Just shut up and I’ll make sure that you cu—” The man wasn’t able to finish, figuratively and literally, because he slumped on Yuri’s back for awhile before dropping to the floor like a sack of sand. 

Yuri’s heart was still beating like he just ran through a marathon when a familiar voice cut through his panic. “Oh god, are you okay?”

Yuri turned around. _Otabek._ He wasn’t even sure how he looked like but it could have been like death itself because the mad look on Otabek’s chocolate eyes soften at the sight of Yuri. He didn’t look at him for long though because not a second later, the man struggled to get up again. 

Both Yuri and Otabek looked at the man first before Otabek unceremoniously gave him a kick to the side. The man curled around himself, trying to comfort his injured side. 

“Come on!” Otabek instructed as he grabbed Yuri’s wrist and ran out of the bathroom. They ran the small distance to the truck (and Yuri can’t help but notice that Otabek was taller than him because despite their hurried actions, Yuri saw that he only reached his rescuer’s shoulders.) Upon reaching the truck, Otabek made sure that Yuri was safe on the passenger side of his car before running around again to enter the driver’s side. It only took a few seconds for him to start the vehicle and not long, they were on the road again.

Yuri wasn’t sure what time it was. He wasn’t sure how long he was in that bathroom with the pervert and he seriously didn’t want to think about what could have happened to him if Otabek wasn’t there to save him. The panic was different. Yuri might be slightly addicted to the rush of adrenaline but he wasn't suicidal. Yuri looked at the driver then, the man was still focused on driving like death itself was rushing to get the both of them. Otabek saved his ass twice now. The first one might have been a game, but the almost-rape was definitely a different story.

Yuri didn't like owing people.

“I had it.” Yuri said after minutes of silence. “You didn’t need to save me, I could have gotten away from that fucker without your help.” He knew it was a lie, but a ‘thank you’ was a lot harder to vomit out instead of a ‘fuck you.’

Yuri felt, more than seen, the look on Otabek’s face, “I saved your ass out there.” The guy was mad.

“Do you know how literal you sound right now?” Yuri answered back.

Otabek shook his head and scoffed in disbelief, “Well, I’m sorry for sounding like that because seriously, I’m still shaking from what happened. I don’t even understand why you’re being mad at me when I just saved your life.”

“I didn’t need saving, thank you very much.” Yuri fired back. He even crossed his arms out like a damn brat. “I had the situation under control.”

“He had you pinned on the wall!”

“I had a counter attack ready.”

“Ha! Really? Tell me then.”

“I forgot about it because it was more like an on the spot thing.” Yuri said and he mentally smacked himself for sounding like an idiot. “Anyway, point is. I didn’t need your help.”

“I saved you twice. On the same day. Not even 24 hours apart.” Otabek sighed. “A thank you would be nice.”

“Exactly my point! You don’t need to trouble yourself for me.” Yuri answered and he wasn’t even sure why he was spouting nonsense at the guy who only wanted a safe environment for him. “In fact, you can just drop me there and we can have this thing over with.” He didn’t mean that. Not really, but Otabek still stepped on the breaks and the force of the stop almost knocked Yuri out of his seat. “Oh my god, I was joking.” He whispered.

“Was that a trick question?” Otabek asked him. He had his upper half turned to look at Yuri directly. If Yuri wasn’t on a diva mode, he would have blushed at how hot Otabek was while mad. His brows were frowning, eyes were slightly glaring, and there was a light pink blush on his cheeks triggered by anger. That kind of look would have fit best on a Calvin Klein ad. “Are you trying to make me question my morals here?”

Yuri gaped at that. “What is this? A morality test, one wrong answer and you’re going to hell?”

“I’m not going to answer that. And you’re not leaving this car nor make me force you out it.” Otabek answered before turning to start the truck again. “Wait, was that your way of telling me that you really want to get out of this car? I’m not forcing you out but I’m not going to lock you here with me, too.”

Yuri looked at him. How can he exist? Actually, scratch that. How can Yuri take advantage of this pure being? _I’m going to hell._ He thought. “Whatever, just… Just drive.” Yuri mumbled before tucking himself in his corner, trying to make himself as small as possible. 

_Acting big just won’t do with this guy,_ Yuri thought. He liked to have his bite as bad as his bark, but Otabek wasn’t even worth it. The guy saved his pretentious ass twice now. Once during his impulsive move that brought him on his current situation and second when an asshole attempted to rape him. Otabek only wanted the best for his safety and he’s returning the guy’s generosity with his fucking diva attitude. 

“Thank you.” Yuri whispered. He can feel Otabek looking at him again and before the man can say anything, he turned to look at the driver. He was not conscious of the blush that painted his cheeks. “And before you can pretend that you didn’t hear me, I’m not going to fucking repeat myself just to satisfy your ego.”

The guy only smiled and didn’t even look at Yuri. Though, the singer knew that Otabek did it to save Yuri’s remaining dignity. That, he appreciated. 

After their almost-fight and their almost-make-up, silence was back. Yuri can’t see anything outside except further meadows and the occasional lamp post. It was possible that the town they stopped over in was only a small one, a stop for riders like themselves to restock. Yuri tightened his crossed arms, and tried his best to shoo the noise of his stomach that protested his hunger. His remaining dignity does not want to beg for food.

“You know, there’s food in the backseat.” Otabek informed and Yuri can hear his repressed laughter. “I left you alone for a reason. I was buying —” Yuri turned his entire body to face the backseat and immediately felt a hand on his back. Strangely, he had no opposition on that hand. Otabek was still, after all, a hot guy. “Careful. I still plan on going to St. Petersburg after this, so please don’t crash the car.” 

Otabek was chuckling.

Yuri saw a paper bag with the name of the restaurant they parked in front of earlier and grabbed it. Making sure he was careful this time, he turned to go back to his seat, bag safe on his lap. “I left you a note before leaving for the restaurant. You almost gave me a heart attack when I found you gone after I returned.”

"I didn't find any note when I woke up." He said before he opened the bag and found a variety of food. _Well, junk food._ He can practically hear Giacometti’s voice in his mind. His gym instructor cum dietician would go nuts over the grease on the bag of food. “Burger, fries… More fries? Really?” Yuri chuckled. 

“There’s soda in the back as well. Water, if you’re that concerned of your diet.” Otabek fired back, not minding the comment about his missing note. Soda. Soda, Yuri missed. He can’t even remember the last time he was allowed to drink soda. Maybe it was a couple of months ago or even weeks before, but point was, it has been too long. “What? Is the food not good?”

“No…” Yuri answered, _c’mon Plisetsky, think!_ “It’s just… It’s my first meal for awhile.” He lied again. He mentally smacked himself for that.

Otabek looked at him and Yuri looked down, feeling shameful for the obvious lie that he just said. Of course, Otabek didn’t know that it was a lie — and because of that, Yuri hated himself. He was beginning to enjoy the freedom that the trip gave him. Even if it was fucked up. He was on his way of ruining his career, and seriously risking his life along with it. Yet, that was an addiction he didn’t want to get away from until the last possible moment. He wasn’t Yurachka on this trip because Otabek was clueless about the popstar. That alone was fun enough for the blonde. The downside to it might be a fucked up idea, after all, he was tricking a good person to accommodate all of his needs during the interval he was with Otabek. But the guy doesn't know him. And it was a liberating feeling of being treated 'norma' for once.

“Well, finish it all then.” Otabek said and Yuri has to look at him again. “You can have it all.” 

“What about you?” Yuri asked. 

“I think I have some crackers saved somewhere.”

“What?! You can’t eat that.”

“Or… I can always eat at the B&B. The cashier at the restaurant said there’s one an hour away from here. I’m sure they have food there.”

“Okay, we can do that. In the meantime, we’re sharing the food.” Him being hungry wasn't a lie and Yuri wasn't beneath the idea of them sharing the food. 

“Share?” Otabek chuckled, “Do you even know what that means?”

Yuri looked at him, unimpressed. _So much for feeling guilty_. “Was that an insult?”

The driver just straightened up, suddenly conscious of what he said. Silently, Yuri found the gesture cute. “No. It’s just that you sounded like a brat.” Yuri raised his brows at him, “Um… It’s just a first impression anyway. Let’s share the food… Please.” Otabek nodded, like he was satisfied of his own answer.

Yuri felt the sting, but bringing hell on the man would only prove the ‘brat’ line so instead, Yuri took a bag of fries and put it on top of the dashboard where it's within Otabek's reaching distance. “Well, since you feel so satisfied of your first impression on me, do continue.” He opened the wrap of the burger and helped himself, body angled to look at Otabek.

“Of what?” The guy asked, “My first impression of you?”

“Yeah.” Yuri answered with a mouthful of food, “Tell me more.”

“Stop being barbaric,” Otabek grabbed a handful of tissues from the dashboard where a box of it was placed, “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” He gave Yuri the tissues. He took it reluctantly.

“Well, sorry, mom.” Yuri answered. He wiped his mouth though. 

“See? That mouth is exactly the reason why I thought you were bratty.” Otabek answered. “You seem so used on people following your beck and call, like an heir or a prince — wait, was ransom the reason why you got kidnapped?”

“No,” Yuri said consciously, “We’re not discussing the kidnapping. And no, I’m not an heir nor a prince but yes, I’m used to people following my orders.”

“Is it because of your job description?” Otabek asked. “Are you a manager of something? How old are you anyway?”

“Can you guess?”

“15?”

Yuri had to scoff at that, “I’m not a kid.”

“You said I can guess.”

“Well, you’re a bad guess-er.” They both frowned at that. 

“Was that even a word?”

“Dunno,” Yuri shrugged and he watched as Otabek reached for a fry and started eating. “Don’t care.”

“But seriously though, how old are you?”

“23.”

“Oh. Okay.” Otabek answered, “You look younger than that.” Yuri rolled his eyes on that. Everyone always mentioned that to him. Anyway, point was, he wasn’t a kid. 

“Ha,” Yuri scoffed, “How old are _you_ anyway?” He asked. Otabek seemed to be his age as well, unless he’s some vampire or a biological miracle to look younger than his age. 

“I’m 25.” Otabek replied. 

Okay, “Okay.” Yuri replied before smirking at the sight of Otabek frowning. The guy knew Yuri just imitated him. “And since you know that I’m from St. Petersburg, where are you from Otabek?”

“I’m from Almaty.” Yuri frowned which made Otabek chuckle because he kind of expected that reaction from the popstar, “It’s Kazakhstan and before you ask, I found you in the borders of Astana. Still Kazakhstan.” 

_If it’s Kazakhstan,_ Yuri thought, _then we are almost done with the tour._ “Wow, you said that you’re passing Moscow on your way to St. Petersburg, right?” Otabek nodded, “Then how many days are we away from Moscow?”

“I’m taking a route that should take us 36 hours from Astana to Moscow.”

“So… Basically a day and a half.”

“Right, if we’re not taking any breaks that is. And I don’t plan on dying soon because of driving exhaustion.”

Yuri frowned at that. He wasn’t even saying that they take the quickest route. “Well, thank you for making an assumption that I’m an asshole that will demand that. Anyway, if you stop over for some B&B or motels or whatever surface you sleep on, it will take us around what? 4-5 days?”

“Yep.” Otabek confirmed, “More or less.”

4 to 5 days. _I can work on that,_ Yuri thought. _It will probably remove decades from Viktor’s sorry ass but it’s only a small break from tour._ Assuming that his ‘break’ won’t make it online nor the press or Yuri can just expect a man hunt for his head. “Moscow it is then.”

Otabek looked at him for awhile, “Moscow? Why Moscow?”

“I know someone there.” His Grandpa will be happy for his visit. Though Yuri might want to save him the details of his run.

“And this someone can keep you safe from those kidnappers?” Otabek said which only triggered Yuri to remember the lies that he kept on spouting. 

“Yes.”

 

 

 

 

So the information that was given to Otabek was actually false. There was no B&B available but there was a hotel that has a 24-hour front desk, Ostrov Hotel. An hour later from wherever the old restaurant has landed them in Kostanay, Kazakhstan. 

The building wasn’t something that Yuri was used to. It was clean, but definitely one of the last places Viktor will book him in. However, _beggars can’t be choosers._ “Well…”

“Don’t complain there, princess.” Otabek mentioned before getting out of the driver’s seat.

Yuri scoffed,  _I didn't even say anything yet,_ and waited for Otabek to open the backseat door before saying, “You know, I feel like you just keep on stereotyping me because we started on the wrong foot.” Yuri got out of the car and immediately closed the door. 

It was late at night, close to 11 in the evening and there was practically no one around. Still, Yuri drew his jacket closer to his body and made sure the hood was drown over his head. The paranoia that was inevitable in his job was starting to kick in. Otabek rounded the car with a backpack strapped on his back. He joined Yuri at staring at the hotel. “This was the only place open. Plus, I heard it’s cheap.”

Of course. Yuri stared at Otabek instead. _Oh fucking course,_ “You know that I can always pay you back once we get to Moscow, right?” Otabek only started walking and Yuri has to keep up with his longer strides, “Money is definitely  not an issue for me. So perhaps… You can just pay for me in the meantime and I’ll pay you back once we’re back in Moscow. You can even add some interest if you want, for all I care.” Yuri offered.

Of course, money was not an issue — it stopped being an issue once Yuri took a more stable stand in the entertainment industry, but Otabek doesn’t know that. Maybe that was the reason why he didn’t stop walking towards the hotel. “If you’re okay with that deal, we can get a better accommodation somewhere…” _Somewhere that’s up to my fucking standards at least._

What surprised him though was that Otabek stopped walking and took a sharp turn to face him. The blonde had to straighten his spine to stand as high as his height would allow him. Otabek had a few inches on him and therefore, still taller. There was exhaustion on his eyes and resignation on his voice when he said, “Look. Weren’t you just talking about stereotyping earlier?” He then turned and started walking again, "Aren’t you acting like a demanding princess, right now?"

Yuri huffed before following him, “It’s not a demand if you’ll be getting something out of it. As I said, you can add as much interest as you like to.”

“Well, look here, princess.” Otabek said before they reach the door. He stopped once more to make sure that Yuri was listening to him and actually get his point across. “Not everyone has money on their pockets…”

“What about a card?”

“Nor credit cards handy. Especially if they’re on a road trip where potential muggers can just stop you over and steal everything.” Otabek then looked at Yuri up and down… Sizing him up. Yuri actually tried to make himself smaller this time. He suddenly felt conscious, and a little ashamed of his demands, “Unless you have something of value there that we can exchange for an accommodation that suits your standards.”

Yuri didn’t answer and Otabek had to confirm, “No?”

“No.”

Otabek sighed, “I’m exhausted. And I’m sure with everything that happened to you, you are too. So let’s try to make do with what we have for now, okay?”

Yuri only nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuri has survived and Otabek is still on the receiving end of his lies, lol. He's too pure for Yuri (for now anyway.) So, I have never been to Ostrov Hotel... Nor Kazakhstan so please forgive me if something is inaccurate. 
> 
> Hit me up in [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/queenhumanoid) if you have any questions or comment away. Comments are your writer's gasoline. So love me please, lol.


	4. And everything you do, Yeah, they were all yellow

Maybe it was just pure luck that there was one more room available in the hotel when Otabek and Yuri walked in or maybe it was some deity who really favoured Otabek and Yuri just luckily strung along with said blessings. The room they managed to score was a decent one; still not up to Yuri’s standards but enough to house his ungrateful ass. 

“Well,” Otabek sighed after he put down his backpack on the bed, “For a cheap room, it looks awesome.” It was a twin room. Two beds separated by a bedside table with a lamp on top of it. It has a bath which Yuri was itching to use despite his early protests. Travelling does that to him (not to mention what happened in the dirty bathroom with the old perv.)

“You keep on saying ‘cheap.' How much is cheap for you anyway?” Yuri asked as he stood in the middle of the room, not touching anything.  

Otabek looked at him unimpressed but answered nonetheless, Yuri's rudeness was beginning to become a norm now. “I scored a deal online for 869 Rubles.”

Okay, Yuri had to gape at that. _“That cheap.”_ He confirmed.

“Yeah,” Otabek answered before he took out his phone and laid down. Yuri watched him stare at the device, “Um… Don’t you want to use the bathroom first?” 

Yuri looked down at himself. He was still wearing his old jacket with the overgrown sleeves, his jogger pants, and a pair of white sneakers. They look clean but he was used to having a large wardrobe wherever he went. He already felt dirty. “I don’t have any clothes with me.” Otabek only looked at him with a _no shit_ look and Yuri answered with a roll of his eyes. “Well, I’m sorry for being kidnapped unprepared. Next time I go out, I’ll make sure to pack a bag of clothes, just to be prepared for the next time I get abducted. I’ll do that to make sure my reluctant rescuers won’t have a bad time taking care of me.”

“You do that." Otabek sighed before he sat up again, "For now though,” Otabek reached for his bag again and opened it. He took out a clean white shirt and a pair of soft-looking shorts. “Use these. Get your clothes off and I’ll have the hotel do  your laundry.”

“But isn’t there an extra charge for laundry services?” Yuri hesitated. It was a tempting offer. 

“There is. But my budget for the day is still safe with the deal I scored for the room.” Otabek answered before he reached for another thing in his pack. Yuri watched him reach around until his hand emerged from the bag. He held it up for Yuri to see.

“What’s that?” Yuri asked with a frown on his face.

“Underwear.”

“No…”

“They’re new. I promise.” Otabek said before putting the package on top of the pile he had for the blonde. He stood up then, his phone in his hand. “Go get your bath. Help yourself.” After saying that, Otabek moved to another door in the room, Yuri watched him open it to reveal a balcony. “I’ll be here if you need anything.” He stepped into the balcony and barely closed the door. The door hid him enough for privacy but the open crack he left there was definitely a permission for Yuri to come to him if needed. 

Yuri sighed and looked around the room again. 

It was small. Or maybe it was just his diva self talking. After all, Yurachka was used to deluxe suites that can house three families and some but again, “Beggars can’t be choosers, Plisetsky.” He took the clothes he was presented with and marched his way  to the bathroom. He should know. That was the only other door except for the one going to the balcony. 

The bath was clean and only accommodated the necessary. There was a sink, a small overhead cabinet, a toilet, a tub and a shower. There were towels, soap, packed shampoo, toothpaste and two complimentary toothbrushes. Yuri hanged his stuff on a hook by the door and took out his own phone that was in the pocket of his jacket. 

The battery was halfway down and the number of calls and messages was already a headache to look at. Rolling his eyes and taking pity to the management he disregarded, he speed dialled Viktor’s number. 

It was answered halfway of the 1st ring. “Yuri!” Viktor exclaimed, “Are you okay? Where are you? Oh god, are you unharmed —”

“Viktor, shut up.” Yuri answered. There was some noise on the background and the popstar guessed that it was Viktor’s husband moving around. “I’m okay. I’m in a hotel.”

“That driver you were with, did he bring you there? Did he touch you?”

“No, Otabek.” Yuri tried to control his volume, first reason was because he didn’t want the other man hearing his conversation and blowing up his cover and second because Viktor sounded so legitimately worried that he started to take pity. “Otabek is his name. He’s cool. He’s kind. He’s taken care of me so far. Saved my ass today from a rapist—”

“Yuri Plisetsky! What the hell are you doing? What happened?” _Uh-oh_ , Viktor was getting angry. 

“I swear I’m fine.” Yuri answered and tried his best on pacifying his angry manager, “The man was not able to do anything, not even touch a hair on my head.” _Except he almost had a hand in my pants,_ “Otabek saved me before things escalated to worst.” 

“Does this man even know who you are? And why did you even run away?”

“You know how I am, Viktor.” Yuri sighed,  he was starting to feel like he was explaining things to a 5 year old who was having a tantrum, “I got bored. I saw an opportunity for fun. He was attractive and I was impulsive.” Yuri leaned on the tiled wall of the bathroom before saying, “Otabek… Otabek is nice. He takes care of me.”

“And what does this man demand in return, hmm?” Viktor asked, a little pacified after hearing his young ward was okay. “People just don’t take care of strangers without a catch. Is he blackmailing you in anyway? I can call Lilia to make sure our legal terms…”

“No.” Yuri cut off, “No. He’s fine so far. He exceeded all of my expectations during the little time we had.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that but we need you back here. Where are you?” Viktor asked. “We have a few days left before your stop in Almaty, Yuri.”

It was easy. Yuri can just give his location to Viktor and they will arrive in a heartbeat, it’s what he does best. He’s there whenever Yuri needed him, even if sometimes his attention was no longer needed. Yet, Yuri wasn’t able to get his fill yet, “No.”

“Yuri…”

“Come on, Viktor! Give me this.” He exclaimed, minding again his tone to not be overheard by his sudden roommate, “When was the last time I had a vacation?”

Funny, Yuri can practically feel his manager’s eye roll, “Two years ago in Maldives, before your recent album and ongoing tour. I won’t be forgetting that, young man. The orgy rumours were the hardest to fight off after you rejected the idea of releasing an official statement.”

“The orgy situation was a very tempting offer but it wasn’t true. There was no need to make a statement over it.”

“Yuri, this is different.” Viktor sighed, “You are in the middle of the tour…”

“You said we have a couple of days before the Almaty stop!”

“And how will you make it, huh?”

“I can fly back!”

“But your—” There was a noise on the background and Yuri really can’t tell what happened, he had to check his phone again to make sure his call was not disconnected.

“Yuri?”

Yuri sighed before rolling his eyes, “Katsudon.”

“Are you safe?” He asked. Yuri won’t be surprised of Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov to take over the call. He was, after all, more logical when it comes to the matter of dealing with Yuri’s impulsiveness. He was calm like that. 

“Yes.”

“You want a quick adventure, yes? A break from boredom and routine of the tour?” Yuuri asked once more. Maybe it was because of Yuuri’s own anxiety that he can deal with the young singer’s issues with so much empathy and understanding. He was always the more level-headed one. If Viktor can deal with the entertainment bullshit with two eyes closed and hands tied, Yuuri can read the popstar like an alphabet book. Easy.

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Yuuri sighed and Yuri suddenly felt a different energy in his body. He felt like a teenager suddenly. Someone who was finally allowed to go to the arcade after being grounded for months. Unfortunately, due to his work, he wasn’t able to experience that. Nor have a parent who cared on grounding his ass when he did something wrong. “Let’s do that.”

Yuri whooped. As quietly as he could.

“In two conditions.”

“What?” Yuri stopped. “What conditions?”

“You keep your GPS open. And you will call us every night. If you’re having too much fun, then text us. At least help me calm Viktor’s soul by knowing that you’re not dead somewhere.” Yuri sometimes wondered why the couple never bothered with kids nor ever talked about having one. When he asked about it, Viktor joked that his troublesome ass was enough headache for the couple and therefore never really talked about officially adopting. Since then, they joked around about Yuri being their son. Yuri liked to pretend that he was salty about it when in fact, he knew deep down that they were much better parents than his biological ones.

Yuri wanted to rant out, demand that his terms were met. But unlike with Viktor where he can bitch all he wanted, it was Yuuri he was speaking to. It’s either that, or none at all. “Okay, mom.” He agreed and made sure that his eye roll was verbalised at least. 

“Good.” And he can practically hear the smile on Yuuri’s face and perhaps the gaping of Viktor’s mouth. “Now, I’ll give the phone back to Viktor, and we’ll talk about how to get you in Almaty as quick as we could, okay?”

 

 

 

 

When Yuri finished, the shirt that Otabek lent him was technically a dress and the shorts were a tad bit over his knees. The old clothes he worn earlier were in a messy pile in a hamper, still in the bathroom. There was a towel draped on his shoulders; his hair, a mess of wet waves. 

The room was empty, the door to the balcony still open so he took a chance. Yuri took a peek first and immediately saw Otabek leaning on the rail; phone placed by his hand on the cemented edge and a cigarette placed in between two slender fingers. “Wow, what a surprise…” Yuri had to slam a hand on his mouth because he didn’t mean to say those words out loud. Otabek just turned to him, eyes tired and lips stretched in a small, simple smile. 

“Surprised of what?” The taller man asked before he turned fully to face Yuri. He took a lungful of his cigarette before he crossed his arms on his chest. His stance was so relaxed, and yet it was still a contrast to how tired he really looked.

“We were talking about first impressions earlier…” Yuri started before leaning on  the doorframe himself, “My first impression of you was that you were heaven-sent.”

Otabek chuckled at that, “Heaven-sent for being at the right place at the right time?”

“No, for being a good human being to a problematic asshole like me.” Before he continued on, Yuri made a show of releasing a huge sigh of surrender, “But I guess, I was wrong.” Otabek only raised a brow at him, “Look at you, sipping on a cigarette like a delinquent. Oh wait, are you one? You know I won’t be surprised if you were. A nice truck, leather jacket, and a fuck boy haircut were signs too obvious anyway.”

“Fuck boy haircut?” Otabek chuckled and somehow, that made Yuri smile too. 

“Yeah, the upper-part-brushed-up-lower-half-shaved kind of thing.” Otabek only shook his head in resignation. “Now you’re adding a cigarette to the list and you’re a stereotype yourself. How’s that for a first impression, you hypocrite?”

“So, I guess I don’t need to add a motorcycle on the pile anymore, do I?” Otabek asked and Yuri needed a second to compose himself.

“A motorcycle?”

“Yeah, a motorcycle.”

“You have one.” Otabek rolled his eyes. “No, you’re bluffing.”

“Don’t you ever wonder what the thing was on the back of the truck?” And Yuri remembered the huge thing again that was covered by a tarp on the back of the truck. It was one of the things  that he first noticed when he first saw Otabek on that gasoline station.

“I thought it was a pile of dead bodies.”

“Gruesome imagination but it kind of ruins my bad boy persona, don’t you think?”

“Or does it?” Otabek only chuckled.

The conversation stopped there and Otabek didn’t look at Yuri anymore. His body was still angled to look at Yuri directly but his head was turned to look at the view below. It wasn’t really that attractive anyway, _just a bunch of golf courses,_ Yuri thought. The cigarette though, it still bothered the young singer. After all the personalities Otabek had shown him, he was this, kind, gorgeous man that won’t ever do a wrong in his life. _And here he is, smoking a cigarette._

Although there was no wrong in doing so… Just not Otabek. Or maybe Yuri was being a hypocrite again because he knew for himself that he has smoked far worse than just normal cigarette and that was a thing in the past. 

Maybe for Yuri, to have those vices, it was normal. But Otabek seemed too… Pure to be on a cancer stick. “Why do you smoke?” Yuri asked and that brought him Otabek’s attention again.

Otabek looked at the stick first before he took the last hit, killed the remaining burn, before throwing it on a nearby ashtray. “Habit?”

“You’re 25.” Otabek shrugged, “When did you start smoking?”

“15? I guess?” Fair enough. Yuri did that too.

“And have your parents ever caught you?”

Otabek looked away from him again, seemed to think things over before he gave further information to Yuri. “My mom never really saw. She was… Too busy managing the family business to really peek on her son by the backstage door.”

“By family business you mean…”

“We owned a bar.”

Yuri only nodded at that, wasn’t quite sure how to proceed from there. Otabek was a complex person. Yuri wasn’t used to complex people. For him, it was either you were good or bad. No grey areas and yet, here was a man who took him under his wing with no hesitation nor asked for anything in return. Otabek was a good person who smoked cigarettes like his lifeline depended on it and had eyes that carried the entire world. 

“Anyway,” Otabek started again, removing himself from the railing and grabbed his phone to insert it on his back pocket, “Aren’t you hungry? I think I saw a hotel menu lying around. Have you seen it?” He lead the way back inside their room and Yuri had no choice but to follow him. Otabek found the menu on the bedside table. He then sat himself on his bed and scanned the menu. Yuri sat on his own bed and observed the man. Otabek was still handsome, and the way he carried himself was still cool but there was something in him that night that was bothering him. They might have only been together for a few hours but Yuri learned to read people because his career demanded it. And there was something wrong, “They have a variety of food you can choose from, anything in mind?” Otabek was still not looking at him.

“No,” Yuri said, “I’m not really craving for anything.”

“Okay, I’ll order something but don’t blame me—” Otabek was not able  to finish whatever he meant to say because he immediately reached to his back pocket. His phone was ringing. Yuri watched him stare at it. "Ahh..." Otabek stood up again and handed the menu to Yuri."I had to take this, you order. Anything for me is fine." And with that, he left for the balcony again. He wasn't pass the doorframe when he answered his phone and instead of leaving an opening that will serve as Yuri's sign that the blonde can disturb him, he fully closed the door.

Yuri scoffed. Unamused. There were a lot of possibilities in his head to whoever was really calling his rescuer. It could be a client, Otabek could be a travelling businessman or a hitman for all he care. It might be his landlord inquiring about his move, with the stuff in Otabek's truck, Yuri won't be surprised if he really was moving.  _Or..._ The young singer didn't like the thought; Yuri frowned before he reached for the nearby telephone to make their order.  _It's not like a boyfriend or girlfriend ever stopped me from getting someone I want anyway._

The jealousy was unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **gasp** Who do you think kept on calling Beka?


	5. Do you know, You know I love you so

Maybe there was downside to having cheap accommodations after all, and Yuri can’t stop smirking at Otabek’s face the next morning. The singer knew that he was 90% the reason why the man looked so sour. 

Yuri’s clothes were not washed and the singer wanted to raise hell over the hotel but that would blow his cover, so he kept his mouth shut. 

Another personality that seemed to surprise Yuri was that Otabek wasn’t a morning person, at all. Yuri already had a mental break down over his unwashed clothes and ordered breakfast for the two of them and the man was still down like a baby. Yuri wasn’t used on waiting for anyone, yet with Otabek, he didn’t mind. In fact, watching Otabek sleep was enjoyable for the young singer. 

Otabek slept half naked with only pyjama bottoms. That’s it. So the view of Yuri Plisetsky that morning was quite majestic. Otabek, half naked on the hotel’s white sheets, a view that can usually be found on a regular romantic movie. He even managed to get a snap of the man’s sleeping figure and sent it to Katsudon in which the other replied with a thumbs up emoji and a ‘good morning’ text. He’d like to believe that he sent the photo to Yuuri to let them know that he was still alive and not because he wanted someone else to know that he was in good, handsome, hands.

The overthinking thoughts about possible boyfriends or girlfriends were long forgotten and Yuri was halfway done with his coffee when his roommate finally woke up. Yuri greeted him a demanding ‘good morning.’ He didn’t receive a response. Otabek only zombie-walked himself to the bathroom before he took his own cup of coffee and proceeded to the balcony, and brought his amazing abs with him. Not that Yuri was staring. Of course not. 

Unlike the night before, the door was left wide open and when Yuri took a peek, Otabek was leaning on the railing again — smoking. 

He silently thanked his past self for investing on such good phone because his camera was able to get an Instagram-worthy shot of Otabek facing the morning sun like a Versace model — coffee and cigarette handy. Yuri itched to share it on his official IG account like the social media addict he was, but then, he would need to say goodbye to his temporary adventure so he soldiered on (not counting the possibility of losing Otabek's trust.)  _Get a grip, Plisetsky._

“Yuri,” Otabek called, minutes after. “Are your clothes done? We’d have to check out soon.” He walked into the room, Yuri assumed he was finally awake and done with one cancer stick. The young blonde had to watch himself to make sure his eyes didn’t hover on any sculpted part of Otabek, like his abdomen or his hips — or worst, his crotch.

The singer didn’t answer though, only pointed to the corner of their room with a stretched leg. If Otabek saw his stretched limb interesting, Yuri won’t know because Otabek immediately looked at the corner where Yuri’s clothes were left in a messy bunch. He had asked Yuri to bring it out from the bathroom hamper so the hotel staff can easily take it for laundry. Of course the blonde resisted at first, insisted that those type of chores were beneath him — that it was their job to begin with. Otabek only looked at him for 5 seconds with his usual _no-bullshit_ stare and the blonde was stomping to have the chore done. 5 seconds! Not even Katsudon can do that.

Anyway, going back to the reason why Otabek looked so sour was the fact that the hotel staff he was so considerate of the night before, forgot to do his request. Another reason though why he was so sour was that when he asked Yuri to wear it again, the blonde shouted bloody murder. 

“I am not wearing dirty clothes.” If Otabek was a morning person, he could have remembered the fact that Yuri didn’t know how many days he was ‘abducted.’ It was a good thing that Yuri knew how to cover his own tracks for his amazing story line. “I’ve been on those rags for who knows how long. In fact, I’ll wear these pyjamas outside if I have to.” 

“Yuri, you’ll freeze yourself.” Otabek replied, finally giving up. The pity card wins all the time.

So that brought them back to the road with a smirking blonde and a grumpy driver. 

True to his word, Otabek didn’t let Yuri out with only a pair of shorts and a white shirt. He had to stomp back to his truck and get him extra clothes. Currently, Yuri was drowning in what he tagged as boyfriend clothes from a boy that was barely a friend. Nonetheless, they were comfy. The man only mumbled about looking for a laundromat to have Yuri’s clothes washed.

“You know,” Yuri started as they sped down the highway. “You don’t have to bow down to every demand I say. Or in fact, you can just leave me to the hotel. That won’t be a problem.”

“Really?” Otabek asked, “I’d rather drive to Moscow with a clear conscience. And besides, I’d choose to have my ears working than continue arguing with you.”

“Are you trying to imply that I’m noisy?” Yuri asked and the man only shurgged, “Anyway, some people would leave my ass on my own after all the drama I gave you.” Yuri reasoned. Of course he knew he wasn’t easy to deal with. His management didn’t give up on him because it was composed of a bunch of psychos in fact, his very grandfather could only shake his head whenever Yuri told him stories about his life. But that’s how you know which people will stick around, he figured that out at a young age. His mother was his first failed experiment. “You don’t have to take responsibility just because you were on the right place at the right time.”

“Stop talking about it,” Otabek replied, “I said I’ll take you to Moscow, I’ll get you to Moscow. If I survive this whole thing with my ears half damaged, it was a choice I made.” Yuri only stared at him, his conscience eating him from inside-out again. The popster chose to not reply because he wasn’t entirely sure if the words that will come out of his mouth next will be the truth or more lies. So he chose to look at the road instead. 

Yuri didn’t want to lie more. He didn’t want to stop the trip either. He enjoyed being with Otabek. The man doesn’t bow down to his demands without a fight, he doesn’t cower nor fear Yuri too. He doesn’t treat Yuri kindly because the blonde holds the right whether he gets paid for that week or not. He treated Yuri like a normal person and ‘normality’  was supposed to be something like a foreign kind of boredom to him. And yet, there he was. He craved each banter they had and there was an urge to know Otabek more. 

The urge was scary and exhilarating at the same time. It was a different kind of addiction and it was unlike the feel of adrenaline that would usually drown Yuri whenever he puppets games like these. This time, he felt safe. How was that even possible? 

“The next town will be at least 4 hours from there.” Yuri was pulled out from whatever abyss he dipped down to, “Two more days to Moscow, excluding today. Approximately anyway. During our remaining time, you can’t keep on borrowing my clothes.” Otabek stated and Yuri would have thought he was serious until he looked at the other’s face. The man was smiling.

“What are you trying to say?” Yuri asked.

“If you promise to not say a word to the places we sleep in, I’ll buy you some clean clothes.” Yuri’s eyes lit up, “Given they’re affordable of course.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Settle down, princess. I told you—”

“ _Not everyone brings a load of cash during a trip yada-yada,_ I know.” Yuri replied after rolling his eyes and moved around his hands when he said his piece. “I’m not going to complain about it. Nor the clothes that you will buy me. Beggars can’t be choosers.” 

Otabek only kept quiet and Yuri was hit by the realisation that he sounded rude again. Ungrateful even. So, to lighten up the mood he caused, he punched Otabek’s arm hard enough to have him look at the singer. _Fuck,_ he thought, _his eyes._ “Lighten up, sucker. I’m cutting you some slack and just because I don’t want to burden you further, I’m paying you back once we get to Moscow.”

The man only blinked at him like he was unsure on how to handle the situation he was in, “You know, you don’t have—”

“I want to,” Yuri said, “Okay? Let me do this.” He wasn’t really sure where the sober tone came from, but all he knew was that he wanted to be kinder to Otabek. He wanted him to see that Yuri wasn’t all an ungrateful asshole who gets on everyone’s nerves, “You’ve been so kind to me.” He whispered.

Yurachka was an adrenaline junkie and Yuri Plisetsky hasn’t been sober for a long time. Actually, Yuri hasn’t been _Yuri_ for a while. The last time he was, was when he visited his grandfather a year and a few months ago. It took him some time to be _Yuri_  again, to find his ground and be someone who was not so… _So Yurachka._

Only a few people can really bring Yuri out from the claws of Yurachka. He has been his asshole, celebrity self for a long tim that he lost sight of who he really was. 

“Knight or ninja?”

Yuri turned to look at Otabek again. “What?”

Otabek was not looking at him, he was all eyes on the road and yet it felt like his full attention was at the blonde beside him, “Would you rather train as a medieval knight or a mysterious ninja?”

“Huh, I don’t get it.” 

Otabek only chuckled. “You’re not used to these games, are you? It’s a game called ‘would you rather.’ Both players will present a set of two options and the other has to choose between them. People usually play it to pass the time.” He explained like it was so obvious. 

Yuri played a lot of things, but his boredom was cured in different vices. “Oh, okay.” He replied yet he still wasn’t sure he got the whole mechanics of the game, “What’s your question again?”

“Would you rather train as a medieval knight or a mysterious ninja?”

“Ninja.” Yuri replied after thinking about his options, “I visited Japan recently.” _More like three weeks ago._ “A friend of mine dragged me to this museum where the history of ninjutsu was preserved. I couldn’t stop talking about it for a few days.” He was hesitant when he was asked by Viktor and Yuuri to go sight seeing with them in guises, but Yuri was sure glad he didn’t skip that tour. 

“Wow, you’ve been to Japan.” Otabek whistled, “The farthest I’ve been to were Canada and America. I have two friends there I visit sometimes. Do you travel a lot then?”

“I do,” _More often than I actually wanted,_ “Anyways, my turn.” Yuri angled his body so he could face the driver without straining his neck every now and then. “Would you rather quit social media as a whole or never watch a movie again?"

Otabek only scoffed and Yuri narrowed his eyes. “Easy,” Yuri can’t live without those two options. Social media was a life source for him and movies were a guilty past time when he wanted to cool down after a gig, “Quit social media.”

“What?” Yuri asked, unbelief so obvious that the other man had to laugh, “Are you a grandpa? Everyone is on social media right now. How can you just quit it? You can still watch movies online anyways.”

“Well, if you haven’t noticed. I’m not exactly a big fan of social media or even smart gadgets for that matter. I’m an old soul, I prefer talking to people face to face rather than scroll or type away on a screen. It’s convenient, but it’s boring. For me.”

“Which explains a lot of things by the way.” Yuri wanted to smack himself. He didn’t mean to say it out loud. It explained why Otabek doesn't know him. Yurachka was everywhere.

“What do yo mean?”

“That you’re an old man in a young guy’s body.” Otabek only laughed. _Not to mention, hot._ “Your turn.”

“Let’s see…” Otabek squinted his eyes, “Would you rather… Fly for a day or be invisible for one week.”

“You know that we have a lot of parks that can imitate flying these days right? Like bungee jumping, things like that?”

“That’s falling not flying, Yuri.” Otabek reasoned and Yuri had to shrug his answer off; he didn’t want to admit that the guy was right.

“Anyway,” Yuri sighed, “I want to be invisible.” He leaned on his side and just observed Otabek’s profile, admiring his sharp features once more. 

“Why?”

“People crave for fame and attention all the time; yet once they have it, they don’t want it no more.” Yuri answered and frowned when he realised he gave out too much information about his celebrity status. “I got that from a movie so, I guess it would be fun to just observe instead of being observed.” Otabek didn’t remove his eyes from the road and Yuri admired the strength and curiosity that clouded his eyes.

“You sure have a lot of thoughts for being a princess.” Otabek answered and the blonde knew that he meant what he said, but Yuri was getting pissed at the sudden mood change again so he pulled another bratty line.

“Could you please stop insulting me?” On another’s ear, it might come off as rude but the popstar knew that his… Friend or whatever Otabek was to him, was already used to his sarcasm and rudeness. “I was serious, dammit. But anyway, thanks for ruining the mood.” _Way to pass the blame there, Plisetsky._ “Would you rather get a suitcase worth 50 billion dollars or… Find your true love?”

“Suitcase.” Yuri wasn’t even done with his question when Otabek answered and he gaped at the other man. 

“What?”

“What?”

“No one would just pass meeting your true love just like that.” Yuri smacked Otabek’s arm and suddenly they were both laughing, “What is wrong with you? I thought you were an old soul? Don’t ancient people like you prefer romance and chivalry or shit?”

“Well, I have my own reasons. Don’t judge.” Otabek excused.

“I would want to meet my true love.” Yuri sighed dreamily. He still has the right to imagine anyway, even if his immediate surroundings were composed of fellow dirty, fame-whores like himself. Although, imagining a life with Otabek however, _now that’s just asking for the stars. Stop it._

“Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess.” Otabek brushed off, “Would you rather, kill a bag of puppies or drown a litter of kittens?” When Yuri gaped at him, Otabek was already laughing. “Your face… Oh my god.” His cheeks were even painted red due to laughing too hard.

“You’re an evil person, Beka.”

“No I… wait, _Beka_?”

_Shit._ “It just slipped. Why? Can’t I call you that?” 

“You can…” Otabek coughed, “Just surprised. Anyway, answer up. Kill a bag of puppies or drown a litter of kittens?” He received a smack on the arm just for asking it again.

“Why are you so evil! Stop making me choose between them. God!” Yuri exclaimed. “Just so you know, I have a friend who has this massive poodle who likes to sleep on my bed and I used to have a kitten when I was younger…” _And she died when I was in the middle of a tour._ “So you can’t make me choose. Either you lose a turn or I win.”

“It’s not even a point system kind of game,” Otabek laughed. “But, please. Go ahead. Ask away.”

“Just for that previous question, would you rather have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?” Yuri knew he was being too straight forward with his question. But it was an opportunity that he didn’t want to waste. Otabek was already scoffing.

“Digging for preferences, Yura?”

“Yura?”

“What? I can’t make a nickname for you whilst you can?”

Yuri was already aware of the blush on his face, so he repositioned himself again to lean on his side of the truck. “You can,” he whispered and silently wished that the drum beat of his heart settle down for awhile.

He was too focused on calming his heart down that he didn’t even call out the other man for not answering his question. Meanwhile, Otabek was busy looking at the dashboard. “Um… Do you mind if we stop over for awhile?” He took something from the dashboard and Yuri saw him reach for his phone which was unfortunately, vibrating. “I need to take this.”

Yuri frowned, and remembered all the thoughts that surfaced the night before. The unexplainable jealousy that he felt on the thought of Otabek having _someone._ He already had an idea why he felt the jealousy and why Otabek can make him blush so easily but Yuri, he wasn’t ready to face it yet.

The blonde didn’t answer Otabek, yet he still pulled over. He only answered his phone when he was already out of the truck and moved to the back where Yuri can peek at him through the rear-view mirror.

 

 

 

They were quiet after the call and Yuri wasn’t aware that he slept through the drive again because when he woke up, the sun was just about to set and they stopped again. 

There was smoke coming out of the hood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No puppies nor kittens were harmed during the making of this chapter. And **gasp** Yuri realises his shit, what to do?


	6. I drew a line, I drew a line for you

Yuri’s heart started raging when he saw the smoke. His first instinct allowed him to look left, trying to check if he just woke up from being knocked down due to an accident or what he thought was a simple nap, by checking if Otabek was okay. 

The driver’s seat was vacated. 

Panicked, he looked around. The truck seemed to be okay and the things behind them were also in tact _so it can’t be an accident right?_ Staring ahead though, the hood of the car was already raised up. “Otabek?” Yuri called out after pulling down the glass of the car door. “Otabek?!”

“Easy,” the other called out from the head of the car and it was embarrassing how much relief that brought the singer. “What happened to ‘Beka?’” He asked with a smirk. When he appeared along Yuri’s line of sight, he already took off the sweater he wore when they left the hotel; though, the popstar still can’t make his mind whether he was blessed or cursed by the fact that the man was not naked and was wearing a black wife beater instead. Yuri unsteadily opened the car door and walked towards the hood. Yuri chose not to answer the _‘Beka’_ taunt and instead asked about what happened, why there was smoke on the hood because, well, diversion. “We overheated.” Otabek sighed and leaned on the hood like it was an interesting puzzle he was determined to fix when for Yuri, it all looked complex. “I found a leak on the cooling system and still not done with it. It might take some time, will that be okay?” 

Yuri only rolled his eyes. “As if we really have a choice.” Otabek only chuckled and Yuri really, really tried his best not to stare for too long to either his face or how his muscles flexed under the sunset light. “It's going to be dark soon. Do you need more light?”

“Nah, I’m good.” Otabek replied, “There’s some food in the backseat in case you need to eat.” Yuri already knew about the food, the man stocked up on their last stop so Yuri only nodded and Otabek went back to fixing his truck.

“Where are we by the way?” Yuri asked after he found out that he still can’t see any other signs of civilisation around them.

“Near Ufa, I believe.” Yuri’s eyes went wide at that. 

“Ufa.” He asked, “Ufa as in Ufa, Russia.”

“Yes, Yuri.” Otabek replied, again with his unimpressed face, “Ufa, Russia.” Yuri only frowned at the reply. He can’t believe he made it to Russia.

He shrugged it off.

Stretching, he went to the back of the truck. He had a call to make. 

Yuri expected to see the usual view of the tarp on the back but instead, he found a motorcycle parked beside the truck instead. It was sleek black and Yuri found it so cool that he actually gaped at the sight of it. “Fuuuuck…”

“See? I told you I have a motorcycle.” Otabek replied from the hood. He probably have anticipated that Yuri will see his bike. 

“Did you want to prove that you’re a delinquent?” Yuri gaped, sarcasm in tact, “You could have oriented me, you know. No need to show of this… This cool thing.”

Yuri could practically hear the eye roll when he replied, “I wanted to lighten the load of the truck while I fix the leak, I wasn’t trying to show off.”

“Whatever, just… Just go back to fixing whatever you need to fix.” Yuri brushed off and he heard a light chuckle from the man. He looked at the bike for awhile, observed the pipes and the sleek leather on its seats before he walked further until he sat down on the open lid of the back.

His phone was already on his hand. 

Yuri unlocked his phone and took a picture of the open road first for throwback purposes when he can finally post it online, all the while ignoring the number of texts and calls his phone alarmed him. He took a moment to think things over. 

Yuri finally reached Russia. 

Russia was his home country where majority of his fan base was located. If the news of his sudden disappearance from tour leaked, a major man hunt will be started by not only his fans but also the paparazzi. He knew his fans were composed of batshit crazies and Yuri won’t be surprised if they leave no stone unturned. He can only hope for the best and cross his fingers that Otabek will be a factor that will remain a secret. The man was too good to be included in Yuri’s personal hell.

After that last thought, Yuri felt a wave of guilt. _Is it too bad to wish for Otabek to not know?_ Maybe, yes. Perhaps, no. If Yuri was given the chance to choose between keeping everything a secret from the only person who does not kiss his ass for who he was, and being honest and open to the man he has sincerely liked, Yuri would rather quit his career.

Looking down, Yuri saw the photo he just took. It was an open road in between hectares of open land and it looked so… Free. Like how Yuri has been feeling ever since he started his game of kidnapping. He will be honest, he wanted to get a fuck out of the trip. He expected to get a one night stand from the hot guy filling his gasoline tank in the middle of nowhere and Otabek looked like the only fun thing Yuri will experience during his tour. _But boy was I wrong._

He ignored all the missed calls, and opened the message log with Katsudon. Yuri sent him the photo and instead of getting a reply, his phone rang. He answered after the 4th vibrate.

“Yuri!” Viktor. “Your GPS! You promised that you’d turn it on.”

“Sorry,” He whispered — mindful of his volume else Otabek will hear, “I forgot.” Silence.

His manager didn't reply for awhile and when he did, “Are you okay, kitten?” his voice was uncharacteristically soft, “Did something happen?”

“Nothing… It’s just that…” He groaned, “I don’t know.”

“Where are you now? We’ll drive back if we have to.” Viktor assured and it was so tempting to just say his location. To have everything over with and have the guilt removed from his system. He can go back to his toxic career and drown everything to his vices and in a week or two, he’ll forget about ever having a road trip with a man so kind, Yuri doesn’t even deserve to know him.

_Or…_ There was a second option. “I don’t want to go back, Viktor.” He can face the consequences and just tell everything to Otabek. He was kind enough that he can forgive Yuri, right? Then they can move from there. He had enough money in his bank account that they can travel anywhere that Otabek wanted. They can travel, do their usual stuff and perhaps Yuri can relearn how to  _live._

“Yuri? Yuri, what do you mean?” Viktor asked and Yuri can practically see the worried and anxious look on his face. 

“I want to quit. I’m done.”

“No, no. Yuri, don’t say that. You’re just confused…” And Viktor could have said a lot more and Yuri could have listened better but there was something moving a few yards from where the truck was parked. Yuri squinted his eyes in curiosity and he had to stand up and move away from the car. Viktor was still ranting in his ear when Yuri walked towards the ‘thing.’ It was a ‘white fuzzy dot’ from afar, but when Yuri got closer, his eyes widened — all negativity forgotten for a moment.

“Oh my god!” Yuri exclaimed, phone still glued to his ear as he ran the remaining distance from where he was until he reached the ‘fuzzy dot.’ Yuri didn’t hesitate on kneeling beside it.

“Yuri! Yuri, are you okay?” Viktor exclaimed, worrying further no doubt. Yet, Yuri didn’t respond. Too mesmerised by what he discovered to actually mind his manager. “Yuri!”

He gathered the ‘fuzzy dot’ with his free hand and immediately cradled it in his chest, “I found a kitten, Viktor.” Unconsciously, a smile began stretching on his lips. “I found a kitten!”

“Uh… That’s nice, Yuri.” Viktor replied after a few minutes. “What does it look like?”

“It’s almost grey, but it could be just dirt. I found him by the road.” Yuri explained and smiled further when the kitten looked at him with baby blue eyes and pawed at his chest. “God, he’s so small.”

“Can you bring it to a vet? Are you even in a city?” Viktor asked and if Yuri was aware to the things he was being asked, he could have figured out that Viktor was still trying to keep tabs on him. 

“Otabek said we’re somewhere near Ufa. I’m not sure about bringing it to a vet though, I’m not exactly carrying loads of cash right now.”

“We can always pay this Otabek person back…” 

“Tried that, didn’t work.” Then, Yuri heard a noise that prompted him to turn his back. Otabek was closing the hood of the car. “I have to go.”

“Alright, just please… Please keep us updated.” Viktor pleaded. “Yuuri’s worried.”

“By Yuuri, do you mean _you?_ ” Yuri teased while he observed Otabek rounding up the car to make sure everything was in tact. 

“Yes,” Viktor didn’t even deny, “I worry. Yuuri is cool as a cucumber.” Yuri just grimaced at the obvious attempt at a joke. 

“Well, I’m sure he’s going to be the cooler parent.” And before Viktor can even dispute to what he said, “I’m off now, bye!” He ended the call before pocketing his phone and walked the distance towards the car. “Beka, look!”

Otabek squinted at him as he wipe off the sweat from his body — however minimal it was. When Yuri reached him, he only raised a brow and said, “A kitten.”

“Yes!” Yuri smiled and Otabek stared at him for awhile. 

“You want to take it with us, don’t you?”

Yuri’s smile faded and he held the kitten closer to his chest, “Um, no. Its mom might come looking.” Otabek only sighed and leaned on the car. Yuri watched him stare at the kitten cradled on his arms and to the blonde like he was choosing who he’d rather keep as company for the rest of the trip. “I’ll take care of it, I promise! Just a few hours and if no one comes then we can go.”

Yuri was told that he had a good convincing power. He never had a problem with people on obeying his orders or on some rare occasions, his pleas. Both Viktor and his grandfather spoil him since he was young and Yuuri practically gives up after some few hours of convincing. Or maybe he was bratty enough for people to finally give into him. Nonetheless, he wished that it would work with Otabek.

Then, the man sighed. “It’s a good thing I restocked food then.”

Yuri could have whooped if it won’t ruin his dignity so much.

 

 

 

 

Otabek allowed him 2 hours to waste, 2 hours for anyone or any- _cat_ to come looking for a missing kitten. Yuri spent it playing with the said kitten as his partner in crime did his best to clean his motorcycle while helping himself on a can of coke.

When the promised break was done and no cat owner nor a mama-cat passed by to claim the kitten, Otabek called quits despite Yuri’s protests. “We have to hurry if we want to get to Ufa before 9.”

“But…”

“You can leave the kitten if you want —”

“No!”

“We won’t have time to drop it off in a shelter nor a vet, Yura.” Otabek argued. And Yuri looked at him. He has directed that look to a lot of people, a look few were able to refuse because Yuri has learned from the best. His first cat. 

Otabek only groaned and Yuri knew he won already. “Would you look at that, Puma-Tiger-Scorpion, your are coming with us!” The kitten only meow’ed in response and Yuri had to laugh it off.

“I didn’t even say anything yet.” Otabek bantered as he watched Yuri climb back to the truck. 

“You groaned. That was a sign. Now, come on!”

 

 

 

 

“What do you mean we’ll share a bed?” Yuri asked after Otabek settled on the driver’s seat once more. The guy just went into the only place that was within their budget, the bad news was unexpected though — one bed left.

“They only have one room left and it can’t be converted into a twin room.” Otabek replied after reversing the car to park properly on the inn’s assigned parking area. He left Yuri and the kitten in the car to inquire first, to make sure that they were at the right place and the offer was affordable. “The pictures of their rooms were great… Online.”

Yuri rolled his eyes, “Let me guess, you found a discounted price online again?”

“Yeah. Luckily.” Otabek replied with a hint of amusement in his voice, “Do you know how hard it was to look for a place that was unbooked for the night?”

“No.” _Viktor booked them for me._ “Anyway, did you ask if we can bring Puma-Tiger-Scorpion with us?” Yuri asked as he played with the kitten on his lap. So far, the kitten mostly played with Yuri and when it got bored, it would either climb the dashboard or play around on Otabek’s side of the car (Yuri was cooing at the cuteness of it all and Otabek focused on not crashing the truck as a kitten climbed up his leg.) When Yuri didn’t receive a reply from the man beside him, he turned to look. Otabek already had a guilty look on his face. “Oh my god, you didn’t.”

The man stopped the car and looked at the blonde, frown and all. “I forgot. I’m sorry.”

“We can’t leave Puma-Tiger-Scorpion here!” Yuri protested. 

“Well, we’re not so sure of their policy as well,” Otabek answered back, successfully parking the truck and went out of the car. Yuri followed him with his eyes until he opened the door to the backseat were he collected some clothes again, “And we can’t look for another place, Yura. It’s late.” 

It was 10 in the evening and even if he softened at the sound of his nickname, Yuri still glared at him. “We can’t leave her here, Beka!” He answered back his own nickname, “She’ll cry.”

Otabek paused in gathering his stuff and looked at Yuri unimpressed, “What do you suggest then.” When Yuri smirked at him, Otabek already knew that they will be in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was late and maybe it was caused by a major procrastination issue? LOL. This chapter was done when it was scheduled to come out but I was so unsatisfied with the flow that I had to orient myself. 
> 
> I know this is shorter than our usual number, but I will make it up to you guys on the next chapter. Anyhow, comments for Potya please. Love lots.


	7. Do you know, For you I'd bleed myself dry,

“Follow me.” Otabek left his truck along the inn’s parking space and half dragged the singer a few blocks away. He had him pull the hood over his head again and made sure his blonde locks framed his face.

“Where are we going?” Yuri asked, his voice was in its regular volume. He very much would like to demand where he was being taken with his usual glamorous shouting but he’d rather blend in than be discovered early. Puma-Tiger-Scorpion was safely locked by his arm against his chest.The kitten was also meow-ing in protest due to the hurried pace.

“We’re going to get you some clothes.” Otabek looked back at him before he went back to look at his phone, GPS ready and directing them to the store he was looking for. “And maybe some food as well.”

“You don’t really need to buy me clothes,” Yuri protested. He could have liked the idea of having new clothes (cheap or otherwise) 24 hours ago, but 24 hours was a lot of time to think about how generous Otabek was with him. Yuri wanted to avoid being a burden to him. As much as he could. “Aren’t we just a night away to Moscow now?”

“A night, yeah.” They turned a corner and Yuri was shuffled into a convenience store, “Not including tonight.”

The store was a wonderland for Yuri. He was used in shopping around in international shopping malls or exclusive stores. Sometimes when he asked Viktor to pull enough strings, he can have a store closed so he can shop personally instead of having a PA or one of his managers do it for him. But he has not visited a convenience store by an alley for years. There were rows upon rows of food and a variety of other things. In one corner, the one that Otabek was pulling him to, there were stalls of clothing.

Puma-Tiger-Scorpion only watched everything with curios eyes.

“Okay,” Otabek stopped and let go of Yuri’s wrist. If Yuri was disappointed with the loss of contact, he made sure it didn’t show. “You can choose 3 shirts, 2 comfy shorts you can sleep on or otherwise, a pair of pants, socks and underwear. That’s all. I’ll try to get some food.” Otabek instructed before he turned to go on with his own task.

“You’re leaving me here?” Yuri asked, pulling his kitten closer to his chest. Maybe it was the paranoia of his job, that he should be wary of being in public places — especially if he doesn’t have his body guards or one of his managers near him, but he was suddenly dependent on Otabek. And he hated the feeling. “What… What if I choose the expensive ones?”

Otabek turned to look at him again and smiled.

Yuri felt his heart jump.

Puma-Tiger-Scorpion titled its head.

“You won’t.” He patted Yuri’s head before leaving again.

Yuri watched him walk away to another corner where the grocery kept its shopping carts and baskets. Otabek took one basket and began looking at stalls until Yuri lost sight of him.

Anxiety was crawling on his skin and Yuri bowed his head only to face the unwavering look of Puma-Tiger-Scorpion, “Well, Potya…” The kitten blinked, “I’ll call you Potya for short. Don’t think negatively about it, ‘Puma-Tiger-Scorpion’ is hardcore but it’s a mouthful.”

_“Meow.”_

“You’ll keep me safe, won’t you Potya?” Yuri asked as he scratched Potty’s behind the ears, “There’s totally nothing to freak out about. It’s night time and the store is fucking empty anyway, right?” Potty gave another meow and the blonde had to sigh. _Nothing will happen._

After his much needed pep talk, Yuri began roaming around the store to look for the clothes Otabek insisted him to get. He grabbed a basket from the nearby stack and softly placed Potya inside. The kitten meowed at him for awhile and started checking its temporary home. Yuri smiled and can’t help but pull out his phone to take a quick video. When Potya settled down, he took the basket and immediately found some underwear and socks. He tried to get all the Versace and Calvin Klein collection of undergarments out of his head and it worked somehow. When he dropped his stuff on the basket, Potya immediately began sniffing at the foreign objects placed in its vicinity.

The pants were an easy find, joggers were always his comfy clothes. When flirting, or clubbing, skinny jeans were his first option. He has a great ass (his gym trainer and nutritionist was paid big enough to make sure of it), but so far Otabek hasn’t shown any interests of sleeping or even shown a chance that he could be attracted to Yuri. _Hell, he could be straight as fuck._ Yuri won’t be surprised. _Of course Beka’s straight,_ he had the looks, he had a motorcycle, and a fucking bad boy persona going around. _Of course he digs girls. And strictly girls._

Disappointed with the way his mind works, Yuri dropped the joggers on his basket (after he made sure he got the right size) without a care and jumped when a distressed _meow_ followed it. He immediately fixed the pants so it wasn’t covering Potya anymore, and the kitten looked at him with full betrayal. “Sorry, Potya.”

The shirts — Yuri just grabbed 3 small sized black shirts. He made sure that Potya was out of the way first before he dropped it on top of the joggers. The kitten made sure it appreciated his action by bumping its small head on Yuri’s hand.

When Yuri looked up, quite satisfied that his shopping was almost done so he could go looking for Otabek, his eyes widen.

Right in front of him was a collection of booty shorts.

He was addicted with booty shorts. The shorts always made his legs look longer than they actually were and enhanced his fine ass. They would do. Otabek technically didn’t answer the boyfriend/girlfriend question so _I have to at least check…_ No assumptions. He grabbed a plain black one with white strings on the waistband and another one with a cliched cheetah print. _These should do._

Yuri smirked before he folded and dropped his stuff on the basket.

He began walking back to the stalls again where he last saw Otabek so they can get everything over with and go back to the inn. Yuri would very much like to experiment with the cheetah printed ones right away.

Yuri saw Otabek scanning what looked like a stall of pet food, the blonde had to smile to that. “Would you look at that, Potya…” He looked down and saw the kitten curled up on one of his shirts, “Looks like Beka covered you too.” The blonde was about to call out to catch the other’s attention when something caught his.

It was in the news stand, already half way sold.

His face was distinguishable even if it was half hidden by the stand holder, his eyes were enhanced by the dark eye shadow he was painted with and his blonde locks were in a mess. It was the latest Vogue issue and _Yurachka_ was cover boy.

His heart began jumping again.

It was his interview about the stresses of his current tour, a story that he had already told a hundred times into different ears, multiple microphones, and posed for a million cameras. It was again, a reminder of who he really was.

He wasn’t just Yuri Plisetsky, was he?

“Are you done, Yura?” A voice called out and, Otabek was approaching him.

His eyes glided from the man who was carrying a basket full of stuff and the news stand that carried his real identity.

It was a choice.

Yuri hurried to meet Otabek half way. “Beka…”

“Do you want anything else?” The man looked at his basket and scanned everything, making sure that he got what was needed, “I got something for Puma-Tiger-Scorpion as well—” He immediately grabbed Otabek by his arm and dragged him away—away from the reality that was _Yurachka_.

 _This can’t end yet…_ Yuri thought as he ignored the questioning look that Otabek threw his way. _At least not until Moscow._

He had an opportunity there, he could have picked up a magazine and shoved it into Otabek’s handsome face and say: _Oh by the way, Beka. This is who I really am. Rad, right? That’s why I can pay you for all the generosity you have given me and why I’m such a fucking diva. Oh, and I was never kidnapped, I actually tricked you. I saw you by the gasoline station, found you hot, and made a mess of my management by running away. Are we done here?_

Yet he didn’t do it.

Can’t do it.

Can’t even imagine Otabek’s face once he tell him who he really was.

His heart ached for the imaginary hurt he saw on Otabek’s face. It was all in his mind, but Yuri knew it was a possible scenario.

They hurried to the cashier. Yuri didn’t risk looking at the cashier, he just gave his basket to Otabek, grabbed Puma-Tiger-Scorpion and turned his back.

Otabek didn’t question and the cashier didn’t even bat an eyelash.

Once done, Otabek had a hand on Yuri’s small back and guided him out of the store. “Are you okay, Yura?” He asked and Yuri had to look at him.

Otabek was really a good guy. He took care of Yuri and the stray he picked up, he respected his choices and all the mystery that revolved around him, and yet Yuri can’t even be honest for him. Was he selfish? _So fucking selfish._ “I’m just getting hungry, hurry up.”

 

 

 

 

"Sneaking a cat inside your hoodie will get us in trouble, Yuri!” Otabek whispered.

They were in the lobby, calmly waiting for the lift to their floor. Otabek had his usual overnight backpack strapped on his back and their purchases while Yuri had one Puma-Tiger-Scorpion inside the pockets of his jacket, he was lucky enough that the kitten was quiet, probably exhausted by their antics. Yuri was calm and used his charm to appear innocent while Otabek kept on looking around like he’ll get caught before he bombed the entire place. “If you keep acting like that, we’ll get caught for sure.” Yuri whispered back.

There were three more people joining them for the ride up. A couple who had their faces glued to the screens of their phone and a child who was clutching a squid plushie.

Otabek only grumbled when the lift finally arrived. They piled into it one by one.

Otabek and Yuri occupied the farther area and the other three positioned themselves right in front of the lift doors. The couple was still glued to their phone while the kid was rocking back and forth in a mimic of a swing. It was a good start until, “What floor are we again?” Yuri asked. He didn’t really want to ask but Puma-Tiger-Scorpion chose the exact time to move around his pockets. The blonde had to insert both his hands on said jacket pocket so he could cover most of the kitten’s movements. He felt like he was on the receiving end of all the attention.

Otabek stared at him, and Yuri gestured for him to look at Puma-Tiger-Scorpion’s cradle. “Uh…” Yuri glared, “8th.”

Great, with how the elevator was moving, they’ll be kicked out first before they even get to their floor.

_“Meow.”_

The kid stopped rocking.

Yuri literally felt Otabek tensed and he tried to keep Potty’s head from poking out of his jacket pocket as gently as he could. “ _Meow.”_

The kid looked up to the couple to check if they have noticed anything, Yuri checked their heads to check if one of them heard it enough to bother looking up from their phones. Both couple didn’t react.

 _“Meow.”_ This time, the kid looked behind him.

Otabek and Yuri were both in his direct line of sight.

The kid stared at them, and they didn’t back down.

_“Meow.”_

The kid’s eyes widen at the sound and Yuri had to cringe because at the same time that the meow came out, Potty’s head finally dodged Yuri’s blocks and popped out its head out of the jacket pocket. Yuri saw the kid look at his pocket. The kid gaped, then one of the kid’s hands gripped at the lady’s coat and tugged. The kid was going to tell. “Mo—”

_Ding!_

“Excuse us,” Otabek caught on before he had his hand again on Yuri’s back. He pushed Yuri gently and prompted him to take a step, “This is us.” The elevator door opened to a hallway and the couple didn’t even acknowledge them yet stepped aside to let them through. One of them pulled the kid to step aside.

Yuri walked out of the elevator first and closely followed by Otabek. Both of them didn’t look back, “Mom, did you see? They had a —” The rest of the words were never heard as the kid’s voice was muffled by the elevator door when it fully locked.

“Oh,” Yuri sighed, his shoulders dropping, “Thank god.”

“I think I lost at least 5 years of my life there.” Otabek agreed.

 _“Meow.”_ They both look at the culprit who had its head poking out of Yuri’s pocket. “ _Meow.”_

“We almost got kicked out,” Otabek answered. He reached out to boop at Potya’s muzzle, “All because of you.”

Yuri slapped his hand and frowned, “Hey, no bullying my son.” He exclaimed before walking.

“Your son?” Otabek followed, backpack and purchases along.

“Technically, Potya's my second born.”

“Potya?” Otabek asked, his voice hinted of surpassed laughter, “I thought its name is Puma-Tiger-Scorpion. Changed your mind?”

“No,” Yuri blushed. Of course he knew that the name was very… Say, unconventional. But it was a hardcore name. “Potya is a nickname.”

“Whatever you say. This is our room,” Yuri looked back and saw Otabek stopping in front of room 707. He opened the door with the key was given with and gestured at Yuri to enter first. When the blonde raised a delicate brow, Otabek said, “In case there’s a murderer hiding inside. I’d like to live a long life.”

Yuri rolled his eyes and entered the room.

It wasn’t that much different from the room they previously rented but he had to admit that it was much more presentable than the last one despite the ‘inn’ status. Although, “It’s really one bed.”

“No worries, princess…” Otabek answered after he closed the door and left their purchases on top of a table, “I’m not going to do anything to you.”

“That’s not even what I meant,” Yuri sassed as he kneeled down to let Potya down on the floor who immediately sniffed around.

Otabek only chuckled and began arranging their dinner on the table. If he saw Yuri cute while playing with the kitten, the blonde will never notice because his back was on Otabek.

 

 

 

 

After their dinner, nothing much had happened. They still bantered playfully and watched over the kitten when they served it some milk and cat food.

Surprisingly, Yuri offered to help the other in putting away their take out boxes, _a feat_ , Otabek teased and earned a punch for it. Then, when Yuri took over the bath, Otabek excused himself to do his usual phone calls. Yuri only grumbled as he gave Potya a bath as well. The kitten was front row witness on all of his frustration about the mysterious person Otabek kept on calling. In fact, he was so frustrated that he didn’t answer Otabek when he asked him if he was done with the bathroom. He just marched straight to the bed, cheetah shorts and all, with a shivering kitten bundled up in a towel.

Otabek took his bath as Yuri dried his kitten as much as he could without a blow-dry.

By the time that Otabek was done with his own bath, Potya was fully dry and already curled up in Yuri’s chest.

If Otabek stared at Yuri’s bare legs, Yuri didn’t see.

“Baby’s asleep, eh?” Otabek asked and Yuri shrugged — as much as he could anyway on his position. “Since Potya’s sleeping, want to join me for a nightcap?” Yuri blushed. Don’t people usually ask that to the person they like? Or maybe he blushed at how fucking domestic they sound. When Yuri didn’t answer, Otabek sighed, “We can play a game if you like.”

Yuri’s eyes immediately found Otabek’s, “What game?”

The other man didn’t respond, in fact, he only smirked and led the way to the window seat. Yuri frowned and gently held his kitten and laid it down on the bed, as tenderly as he could without jostling it awake. Otabek was already sitting down the window seat and opened a bottle of tequila. His ashtray was already on the window sill.

Yuri sat down in front of him, and crossed his legs. His hair was still in a messy bun from the bath, and he sighed in relief when the night air caressed his nape. When Otabek passed him a shot glass, he didn’t hesitate. “Have you ever played a game called ‘I have never?’”

“No…” Yuri played with the shot glass.

“Each participant had to say a statement of, ‘I have never’ plus an action. Then if you did or had an experience of the action, you had to take a shot. If you haven’t experienced the action, you’re safe.” Otabek explained before lighting up his cancer stick.

“I thought you said ‘nightcap?’”

Otabek only smirked, “Where’s the fun in that?” He poured a shot on Yuri’s glass, then his own. “Would you like me to start first?” Yuri nodded. “I have never… Been kissed.” The man smiled, as if amused of his own statement before he raised his glass to Yuri, waiting for a toast. Yuri only looked at him unamused and attended to the toast. They both took the shot.

Yuri cringed at the taste of tequila. Vodka was more of his forte anyway. “That was a pussy statement.”

Otabek didn’t even bat an eyelash after he took his shot, “That was a trial round.” He replied before he refilled both of their glasses. “Do you want me to take over the next round or you already got the gist of it?”

Yuri narrowed his eyes as he tried to think of a good statement that he hasn’t experienced yet. When the though occurred to him, Yuri smiled, “I have never been to a sleepover.” Otabek raised his shot glass again, and waited for a toast that never came. When Otabek frowned, Yuri laughed.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” _The game will be a piece of cake._ Yuri had a lot of things he had no experience of. Things that normal people had experienced aplenty. He watched Otabek down his shot and immediately nursed his cigarette. Then, he refilled his shot glass.

“Okay, my turn. I have never picked up a stray kitten during a road trip.”

“That’s cheating!” Yuri shrieked as the other laughed.

“All’s fair in love and war, babe.” Otabek said as he watched Yuri drink down the shot. He refilled the glass right away.

“Can I have a sip on that?” Yuri asked. He saw Otabek glanced at him with a questioning look and he rolled his eyes before he gestured at the cancer stick. “You’ve been smoking since the day I met you, can I try?” Truth was, Yuri never committed to smoking cigarettes in his life, sure there was weed and the occasional Marlboros but his career revolved around his voice. That, he took care of.

“No.” Otabek answered with no hesitation and Yuri had to narrow his eyes.

“Hypocrite.”

“Just, no.” Yuri rolled his eyes, “Your turn.”

Yuri tried to look for scenarios that he was sure Otabek experienced at least once, “I have never been to a strip club.” The man just raised his brows before he took his shot, still as unaffected as his first one. “Seriously?” The man nodded. Yuri has never been to a strip club before. He wanted to try it, sure, but Viktor will have his ass. “How was it, and how come you can drown shots like it was regular iced tea, are you an alcoholic?”

Otabek laughed, “No, I’m not an alcoholic. And family business, remember? We owned a bar.”

“Why is it in past tense?” Otabek just shrugged and Yuri didn’t ask further. People have their own secrets after all. “Okay, then what happened at the strip club?”

“I DJ’ed in one, once or twice.”

“You’re a DJ?!” Yuri freaked out as Otabek nodded again, “What the hell. Is there something you don’t do, at all?”

“I don’t—”

“Hush!” Yuri cut in with a raised finger, “Don’t give me an explanation when shit’s self explanatory. I’m not stupid.”

“What exactly do you understand then?” Otabek asked.

“That you’re a mother-fucking talented god, yada-yada.” _He’s perfect._ “Your turn.”

“I have never been kidnapped.” Yuri stared at Otabek for a while, unsure if it was a bonus round again.

Until Yuri mentally kicked his own ass. He immediately took his shot. Of course, how can he forget? He was never kidnapped in his entire life but he did pretend to in-act one just to get out of his boring cycle, didn’t he? “That was a low blow, asshole.” He said to cover his own tracks.

“Sorry,” Otabek apologised, “It would be unfair if I’m doing all the shots.”

“We have the same number of shots!”

“It’s good to know that you’re counting.” Otabek chuckled as he poured the shots again, nursing his cigarette all the way. “And as punishment, I’ll take this one.” He said before Yuri watched him take down a shot without being prompted.

“What the hell,” Yuri exclaimed as Otabek refilled his shot glass, “What was that for?”

“I skipped a question yesterday. I believe I never got to answer your last ‘would your rather’ statement because of a phone call, didn’t I?” Yuri was confused. Yes, he was happy that Otabek was aware enough of their every conversation that he even remembered that he didn’t answer the last statement, yet, at the same time, he was devastated again after the reminder of the phone calls. Otabek only nursed his cigarette, “I think it’s your turn.”

Yuri frowned, “Oh, aren’t you going to answer that question?”

Otabek smirked, “A gentleman never tells.”

Yuri scoffed, “Dick.”

“Possible.” Otabek only laughed when Yuri swiped his arm. “Anyhow, your turn. C’mon.”

“I have never kissed on the first date.”

“Cheers, then.” Otabek hurriedly filled his shot glass and Yuri’s after he drank his. It was a bonus round.

“Okay,” Otabek started, “Here’s a story, I have never tried modeling before.” To their surprise however, they both took the shot. “You first.” Otabek gestured for Yuri to start his story telling first while he refilled their glasses and the young singer panicked — low key, of course.

“It was nothing, really…” Yuri shrugged, “It happened years ago.”

Otabek only gave him his full attention. “So? We have time.”

“It was only a one time thing.”

“Same with me.”

“Um…” Yuri started, _shit! What the fuck do I say?_ “A family friend was a photographer?”

“Yeah?” Otabek was still looking at him, head relaxed on a palm. Yuri hoped he can end it there but the other man was positioned in a way that was telling Yuri that he will wait until Yuri spilled his beans.

“And he sort of photographed me, standing in a field to create his portfolio.” Yuri lied. “It was stupid.”

“I bet you were perfect.” Yuri looked back and Otabek already had a hazy look on his eyes.

 _Stop it._ He thought to the traitorous pounding of his heart, _he’s drunk. Of course he doesn’t know half of the shit he’s saying._ “Anyway, iI’ll stop there, it was humiliating, no need for me to relive those moments.” Yuri reasoned before the picture of his latest Vogue cover snapped in his subconscious.

 _Yurachka_ models all the time; may it be for his latest album or an endorsement or an interview — heck, sometimes his publicist would organize a low key shoot just for Instagram when they wanted to announce something good using Yuri’s personal account.

“Your turn?” Yuri started before the void pulled him in again.

“I modeled nude once.”

Yuri can’t believe what he heard. He could have asked the guy to repeat what he said if he wasn’t so busy gaping and the said man wasn’t busy laughing at his reaction. “What? No.” Yuri gaped and the man laughed harder, “Stop playing me!” Yuri started laughing. Otabek’s laughter was contagious and he can’t help it. He ended swiping Otabek’s arm again.

“It’s true though!” Otabek answered and he laughed harder when Yuri only glared at him, he ended up with another smack on the arm. “It was a dare!” He explained when he calmed down after a while. “A friend of mine was really stupid, and he dared me to attend his art class one time. They were doing the male anatomy and we were drunk.” The man shrugged, “We all make mistakes.”

“What happened after?” Yuri asked, imagining an Otabek and a faceless ‘friend’ drunk off their asses while pretending to be grown up artists and models.

“I got paid for posing naked and he flunked the project.” Otabek explained with a smile on his face, clearly fond of the memory.

 _Of course, the friend failed._ Yuri thought. _I would get a ‘D’ staring at ‘The D.’_

Yuri looked at Otabek again, his face was flushed and the young singer wasn‘t sure if it was because he was starting to get tipsy or out of laughing too hard, but it looked good on him.

It was the most carefree moment of Otabek that Yuri had witnessed and he silently reprimanded himself for wishing for more moments like that.

Yuri knew he can’t wish for that.

Otabek didn’t belong in Yuri’s world.

 _Yurachka_ will use him and eat him alive until the man that Yuri was starting to like will end up in a curb — heart and spirit broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry for the delay. Things happen and unfortunately, I need some time off. This chapter is definitely unbeta'd but I hope you guys enjoy this nonetheless.


	8. Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you

Yuri continued to stare at the darkness of the road as Otabek sped through the road that will bring them closer to Moscow. Potya, his sweet kitten, was curled on his lap and Yuri was already unconsciously running his fingers along the kitten’s soft fur. 

His thoughts kept on going back to that moment he woke up in that small rented room in Ufa. 

They woke up late, around mid-afternoon, and hours away from their planned departure time from Ufa. They wanted to leave early if they wished to reach their next stop, but after the bottle of tequila turned into two, they should have anticipated the move on their schedule.

Two bottles of tequila was not enough to turn Yuri drunk of course, after all the after parties he attended and hosted, his body’s limits were pushed to maximum. Although, he won’t deny that it turned him tipsy. Tipsy enough to enjoy everything that came out of Otabek’s mouth. Their game turned into a never-ending story telling of their epic adventures with friends or otherwise. Otabek did most of the talking, so unlike their regular dynamic. 

Yuri was careful to not say anything that would have given hint of his real identity or anything that remotely suggested excess of money or influence. Instead, he shared precious memories with his grandfather, his first cat, or the idiotic couple that also served as both his managers and pseudo-parents. 

Yuri remembered how Otabek stared at him, or laughed with him; cheeks painted pink with liquor, eyes shiny. Yuri remembered how his heart pounded in his chest every time Otabek laughed or smiled silly. He blamed it as a biological reaction to alcohol.

In fact, Yuri can blame the entire evening to drunk actions. Both of them were clearly not in the right state of mind. 

At least Otabek was. 

Yuri has been feeling… _Feelings_ for Otabek since the time the man showed him kindness. Maybe that was a gruesome thing, to cling unto kindness. Yuri doesn’t have a lot of people who show him genuine kindness. In fact, they were so few he can only count them in one hand. And Yuri clung to them too. 

To feel it from a stranger, to see that not everyone was after him for his fame or for his money, it was refreshing. And maybe Yuri enjoyed that feeling too much he didn’t feel that he was slipping into something that was far deeper.

Yuri wasn’t ready to acknowledge it yet, nor was the time to panic over arising feelings because that night, Otabek was there with him — laughing, smiling and joking. So unguarded. 

The singer remembered that they fell asleep on different sides of the bed with Potya curled on top of his head. He didn’t know how Otabek moved to his side of the bed to spoon him, all he knew was that it was their position when he woke up. Somehow, Otabek got his arm under Yuri so that the blonde was lying on said limb instead of his pillow. His other arm was thrown over the blonde and his face was buried on the curve of Yuri’s neck and shoulder. 

Yuri forgot how they both lost their shirts the night before, but he hated the dilemma if he liked the feeling of their skin meeting or not. He wanted to snuggle closer, to have Otabek pull him in and lock him in his embrace for as long as they have, and yet at the same time, Yuri wanted to wrench himself away because, _I have no right._

He has no right to enjoy the embrace. 

For Otabek, Yuri was someone he rescued. Maybe Yuri was Otabek’s Potya. A friend at most.

That was the part that hurt the most. There was a lot of uncertainty in their situation. 

Yuri can turn himself in, tell Otabek who he really was and why he couldn’t say the truth earlier than what was proper. In a perfect world, Otabek will forgive him and would still want Yuri around. But what about those phone calls? For all he knows, it might be a lover waiting for Otabek to finally move in. With the amount of luggages in Otabek’s truck, he won’t be surprised if he really was in the middle of a move.

He can’t have _this._

With a heavy heart, Yuri removed himself from the embrace. As slow as he could to not disturb both Otabek, and Potya who was still wrestling kitten dreams. 

The silence during the drive was excused by hungover, both of them deep in their thoughts as they drove down the road.

They had to take the night trip because of their antics and late mornings. 

“How’s the headache?” Otabek asked.

“Getting better,” Yuri lied. “Yours?”

“I think I can take a conversation without chopping your head off now.” He joked and Yuri smiled. He knew Otabek was not a morning person, and with a hungover jackhammering in his head, he gave the man his much needed silence and space. 

“I have a question.” Yuri started. He still had a few hours to enjoy his time with the man. When Moscow comes, he’ll have to face his music then. He’ll get what he can get from whatever they have now and just accept whatever consequences there will be for lying to man so kind, he was heaven-sent. 

“Shoot away.”

Yuri has been staring at the radio for awhile. “How come you never had the radio on?”

If Yuri saw anything change on Otabek, he would blame it to his ass being too observant. His small smile faded and Yuri could practically feel Otabek closing into his own shell. 

It took a few minutes for him to answer, “It’s broken.”

“I see.” Yuri answered, “Do you like music?”

Otabek only smirked, “Who doesn’t?”

“Point taken.” Music was in Yuri’s blood. No matter how toxic the entertainment industry was, Yuri will always love music. “It has been bothering me for awhile.” He admitted before turning to look further out. 

It was a clear sky. And maybe that was the reason why the question was raised. It was the perfect scenario to just drown in music and yet, there was none. Music was his regular escape from reality, and with the weight of guilt and what-ifs in his head, Yuri was craving for it. 

The ride was smooth and it wasn’t really chilly, in fact, curled on his own corner of the truck, with Otabek behind the wheel, it was almost cozy. 

Outside were the usual hectares of lands, giant curves of mountains, and since they were away from civilzations, the never-ending sea of stars. 

“Didn’t know you could sing.” The rumble in his throat stopped when he heard Otabek speak. Yuri didn’t even realise he was singing until he stopped. He felt his cheeks go warm.

“Uhh…”

“No, go ahead.” Otabek risked to glance at Yuri, “Sing.”

Yuri only frowned, suddenly self conscious. _I sing for a living, dammit!_ He cursed because he found himself shy all of the sudden. He felt like an amateur. Here he was, the infamous pop star _Yurachka_ who sold out arenas and topped musical charts, shy to sing a note in front of one guy. 

_But Otabek isn’t just one guy, is he?_

“Hey,” Otabek chuckled when he saw Yuri pouting and busy staring at Potya, “Come on, Yura.”

“No.”

“I wasn’t making fun of you, you know…” 

_I know._

“It’s just you really have a nice voice. And…” Otabek paused, like his mouth was finally in line with his brain, “And I haven’t really listened to a song for awhile.” 

Yuri wanted to know how long ‘awhile’ was, wanted to hear stories form Otabek that wasn’t caused by liquor. 

 _“Take me as you are,”_ Yuri started with a whisper, _“Push me off the road. The sadness, I need this time to be with you.”_ Gradually, Yuri found the strength in his voice and went through the song as if he was serenading an arena. 

The song wasn’t _Yurachka’s._

It was Yuri’s.

It was one of the songs that will always be buried in his journal and will never meet the scrutinising gaze of his producers and managers. The song wasn’t even made for _Yurachka._ It’s so out of the pop star’s image, so Yuri kept that hidden.

Yuri wished that he had that journal now. His mind and hands were itching to create something. 

When Yuri ended the song, the silence continued. He wanted to question himself why he sung the song no one has heard before. But Yuri already knew the answer before he even finished the thought.

Otabek makes his guards down.

He made it so easy for Yuri to be… Yuri.

“What do you want to do after Moscow?” Otabek asked and the young blonde was struck with the question. The answer should have been automatic. Viktor and Yuuri already prepared everything for him. He will meet his grandfather, maybe chat for a bit, then he will be transported to Almaty. The plane will technically bring him back to where everything started, like it was backtracking the last few days. After Almaty, he will go back to St. Petersburg where he will perform one last show to end the tour. Then…

Then what?

“I’ll…” Yuri looked at Otabek, _I want to be with you._ “I’ll meet with my grandfather.”

Otabek nodded, “You said he can make sure you’ll be safe. Are you going to press charges to your kidnappers? I’m sure you want justice for everything.” He said it a non-personal tone that Yuri was dragged back to the first time they talked. 

_What’s happening?_

_Why the distance?_

Why were they back to square one?

“I don’t know what to do, Beka.” Yuri whispered. Honest. It was rare for him to be truthful whether to others or himself. “I’m not even sure if I want to go back.” To the limelight. To the toxic industry. To _Yurachka._  

Otabek was silent for awhile, until he guided the truck to a park beside the main road. Yuri looked around. It was still dark out, possibly near midnight and only a few more hours away from Moscow. When he looked at Otabek, the man was stuck staring at the wheel. “What,” Yuri started, “Don’t tell me that you’re really a psychopath who’s going skin me alive and wear my face as your next mask.”

That seemed to pull Otabek from whatever line of thought he was having because he chuckled at Yuri’s statement. The blonde only smiled in response. 

The Kazakh then stretched to reach for something on the backseat and came back with a flashlight. Yuri watched him test if it was working. “Wait here, okay?” He stated before leaving Yuri inside the truck.

Alone with nothing but a kitten to defend him, Yuri pulled out his phone again; readying himself to speed dial Viktor in case something happened. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Otabek, but they were in the middle of nowhere and it was close to midnight. It suddenly felt like he was starring in a thriller flick and in a minute or two, a psychopath will knock on his window and show Otabek’s—

PLOOF!

The entire truck jostled for a good 10 seconds before going back to its steady state and Yuri was almost ready to bolt. Then, he heard something rustle and a little stomping before…

TOK-TOK!

Yuri almost screamed when his predictions came true, someone did knock on his side of the truck, but instead of seeing the gruesome face of a murderer, he saw Otabek’s handsome one instead. A handsome face that was trying its best to look neutral despite fighting the urge to laugh.

Yuri made sure his glare could melt ice before he unlocked the door and opened it enough for Otabek. “You fucking jerk!” A smack to the chest, “You almost gave me a heart attack.

This time, the man really laughed, “With that look on your face, I’m sure my attempts were close.”

His glare however softened when he saw the carefree reaction of Otabek once more. It was a sober one, _that’s good._

“Anyway, come on out.” Otabek said after the last laughter faded away and he gave Yuri’s door a tap or two. Yuri hesitated before following his lead and walked the small distance to the back of the truck.

The motorcycle was off the truck but what really surprised the young blonde was what Otabek did to the space. Some of the luggages were pushed to the sides and there were layers of blankets on the truck’s cargo bed. It was like a fort of some sort, and he could already feel the coziness of the small space. “Well?” Otabek asked, almost shyly.

“Where did all these blankets came from?” Yuri asked as he calmed the kitten that was starting to wake on his arms. 

“What kind of question is that,” Otabek laughed before he climbed unto the cargo bed and made himself comfortable. “You can see the luggages.” He gestured to the half dozen mini giants around him. It wasn’t really that impressive, Yuri travelled with no less 15 luggages; especially during on tour but he guessed that half a dozen trolleys are already acceptable especially if one was moving.

Yuri let Potya on the cargo bed and watched the kitten explore the new space before climbing it himself.

He settled beside Otabek with their backs leaning on some of the luggages and watched the stars.

 _When did staring out while travelling became boring?_ Yuri used to enjoy these kind of stuff.

“Why don’t you want to come back?” He heard Otabek asked and Yuri found himself shrugging. 

“It’s… It’s complicated.” He started, unsure on how to explain his ‘job’ to someone so naive about it. “My workplace, my life… Isn’t exactly an ideal environment. It’s draining. It’s toxic. Most people would say I’m living a dream life. I mean, you’re not exactly wrong when you called me a princess.” He gave off a chuckle, remembering the time Otabek mocked him for being so spoiled. “I really have no issues with money. I have connections most people can only dream of having. But have you ever felt like, the only thing that you used to love doing, starts becoming a chore and you just start — hating?”

Yuri won’t lie. He loves being on stage, being able to perform his craft. But when the spotlights go off, when he was left staring at the ceiling of whatever hotel room he was in, when _Yurachka_ slept wasted somewhere inside him, Yuri wasn’t happy anymore. He knew his vices were eating him. 

“Everything felt like a routine.” Yuri sighed, “Is it too bad if I want out? Even for a short while.” _So fucking ungrateful._ And possibly twisted in a way because Yuri was using Otabek as his means of ‘out.’ 

“Out.” Otabek repeated. He didn’t really follow up on that after he said it and Yuri had to look away from staring at the stars to make sure Otabek didn’t snooze on him. But the man still had his eyes on the night sky like the very sight of it was a comfort on its own. “I can’t really answer that. I’m on my own ‘out’ right now. But I do know the feeling of doing a chore out of a hobby.” Yuri watched him sigh and let his body lean further on the luggage.  He was sulking so low that Yuri’s own back protested in sympathy.

“I haven’t listened to music for almost a year.” Otabek whispered it so low that Yuri doubted if he heard the right thing. “Of course,” He scoffed, “I hear music everywhere, you can’t really escape that. But really listened to it, _enjoy_ it. I stopped doing that.”

“I thought you DJ’ed?” Yuri asked softly. 

“Did.” The guy shrugged liked he already made peace with that simple fact. “I stopped.”

Yuri was surprised. With the way Otabek narrated some of his memories about late night antics with mischievous fans and amateur groupies, Yuri thought that Otabek still rock clubs with his music. Yet to hear that he stopped… Yuri can’t even truly imagine quitting his career despite the number of times he felt beaten because of it. A hiatus maybe, but to retire? _No._ “Why?”

“You’ll probably think I’m an overthinking, immature kid.”

“Beka.” _Never._

“I always reasoned that music got me into this fucked up situation in the first place.” He sighed and Yuri didn’t really know how to respond to that so he didn’t. Instead, he let Otabek set the pace, and watched Potya bully her war to bump her head on Otabek’s leg. “Don’t you ever wonder why I decided to road trip from Almaty to Russia instead of taking the plane?”

“Because you’re cheap?” He said that in his attempt on humour but honestly, Yuri never thought about it. 

Otabek laughed and Yuri, (because god help him, he can’t exactly fight it) smiled at the sight. “Well that. But I appreciate the thought of you thinking so highly of me.” He gave Potya a good scratch behind the ears before he continued. “Seriously though, with your personality… I’m surprised that you never asked about the phone calls.”

Yuri didn’t have the time to react about the ‘personality’ Otabek was talking about because instead of focusing on that, his attention zeroed unto the fact that the man himself was bringing up the phone call topic, the blonde was dying to ask about. “I assumed it was a lover checking up on you during your move?” 

Otabek looked at him funny. “You thought I was moving from Kazakhstan to Russia to meet a lover?” There was a ghost of a smirk hiding in his (handsome) face, no doubt.

“Well,” Yuri  bent his legs, and gathered his knees with his arms, “Technically, I believe no one has the right to call someone that consistent unless you’re the girlfriend.” The term _boyfriend_ was left unsaid, Yuri didn’t want to assume.

“Okay, point taken but just for the record,” Otabek made it a point to look at him. Yuri would know. He was already looking, “I don’t mind a girlfriend but I do prefer a _boyfriend._ Not that I have one of those right now to be ‘consistently’ checked up on my ‘move.’”

Yuri knew that the smirk Otabek had on his face was a reaction to how wide his own eyes were at that moment. After all, he had waited _days_ just for Otabek to confirm if Yuri even had a chance. 

Otabek was bisexual, and fucking single. 

No competition. 

But… “Then why are you travelling to Russia, and who’s that person calling you everyday?” Yuri asked in one go, too curios to even narrow everything down. He’s ecstatic to know that Beka was single and definitely available on the market (a Yuri-only market and he’s going to fight anyone who’s going to challenge that) but it wasn’t enough to really smoothen down the green-eyed beast the phone calls had triggered.

“My sister.” Otabek answered. He answered it with a far away look on his face. 

“Visiting?” 

“Well, that. I might move to Russia. But,” Otabek sighed, like admitting things to Yuri was such a dilemma. 

“It’s not all that, is it?” Yuri confirmed and Otabek nodded.

“My mom’s in the ICU, Yura.” After all the possibilities, Yuri didn’t expect this one. “I’m going to Russia because my sister needs me there. I’m taking my time on this road trip because at the moment I arrive there, I’m going to help her decide whether or not we pull the plug.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay on this chapter. A lot of things happened, and I might be slow on updating Yellow but I promise to finish this. Anyway, we know about Yuri's feelings and more on what really is going on with Otabek, what will happen next?


	9. Look how they shine for you, And all the things that you do

_P… Pull the plug?_

“Beka.” Yuri was pretty sure that his heart stopped beating for a second. All the possibilities, all the scenarios he thought of but he never could have guessed that the phone calls were for that. “I’m sor…”

“It’s okay.” Otabek interrupted. “You don’t have to say that.” Yuri can tell he’s not. “She’s been in a coma for a year now and a year is a long time to think and accept things. Eventually, I have to make  peace with it.”

_But she’s your mother._ Yuri wanted to say. But how could he? He wouldn’t really understand. The closest that he had for a mother was an anxiety-packed Japanese that was married to his manager.

“She is… A free spirit, Yura; always smiling and loved music almost as much as she loves her kids. She took over the bar ever since her parents passed away. She also taught my sister and I everything that we know about our respective crafts. Aisha,  my sister, got involved with business management after watching her do the ropes at the bar and I guess she taught me everything I know about music too.” Otabek then smiled fondly, with sorrow blurring the edges of his lips.

“She’s a good mother and a wonderful person. I guess, if there’s one thing she had bad luck in, it would have been her tendency to fall in love with the wrong men.” He sighed.

Yuri felt Potya settle on his thigh and immediately accepted the kitten’s comfort. 

“My sister and I are half siblings,” Otabek explained, “Mom fell in love with men who was like her in spirit — people whose hearts and souls were claimed by music. My sister said our Mom was the type of person who falls in love with her whole being. In a sense, it would have been wonderful to be with a person like that. 

“Aisha witnessed it first hand, with my dad, she said. I never met him, so I wouldn’t know. But Aisha once told me that she used to say that she has never seen a more in love couple than my parents. But you know how some people are. When it comes to settling down and a career, a baby wasn’t even an option. He left. Mom cried, as usual for people who had their heart broken by lovers who chose a different path, yet she had Aisha and I. One night when I was 8, I even heard her say that it was because of us, her babies, that she got through all her heartbreaks.

“You know Yura,” Otabek whispered, “Despite how selfless people get, there will come a time that they’ll chase after their own happiness. It’s not selfish; it’s a human instinct for survival, I guess. Perhaps an unconscious drive for self-respect, who knows. I didn’t really understand that at first. I was a little naive after all. I was just beginning to manage the ropes for the bar after Aisha decided to attend Business School, and Mom fell in love with the most passionate asshole I have ever met.” 

Otabek was pouring his heart out and when his voice took a sudden turn for bitterness, Yuri had to look at him again. There was a frown on his lips and and an angry glint on his eyes. 

“He was a musician — a solo rock vocalist. Perhaps that’s when I started losing interest on music.” 

Yuri’s throat tighten after hearing that fact. 

“He was so passionate in his craft that it was almost magnificent to witness him perform in our small bar back then. He was also ambitious enough that with the talent he possessed, he knew he  can reach places. Don’t get me wrong, he was alright. My Mom loved him. He was the first guy after my father left.

“But I guess, Mom was really destined to get the worse cases of love stories because, like a cliche bad boy, rock vocalist, he was also a heroin addict.” He should have been insulted, on how accurate Otabek’s description was to celebrities like him, yet Yuri felt his heart burn at the revelation. He might have not lost anyone to drugs, but he did witness his Grandfather, Viktor, and Yuuri mourn him when he went to rehab. The pain on their faces was too much for him to handle and therefore, triggered him to allow the treatment to proceed. 

“We caught her on the act, 6 months into their relationship.” He caught Otabek scoff, like he was amused of a memory and angry of it at the same time. “I… I have never felt so angry before that time, Yura. I almost beat him to the point of warranting him a trip to a hospital wing. My mind was red, and my knuckles were split open.” Then, he watched Otabek stare at his own hands like he could see the phantom cuts and bruises, “I have also never felt betrayal until that night my own mother slapped me across the face for trying to beat the one person who was dragging her down.

“I left home after that. It’s not that I just cut off all of our communication then, but I tried. Damn it, I tried, Yura.” If his heart burned at the revelation about drug addiction, Yuri’s heart practically died at the sight of Otabek so defeated. “The next thing I heard about Mom was that she sold the family bar. Aisha said that she done it to support the bastard in moving to Russia. Can you imagine? A property that was like a family heirloom, gone with no hesitation for the sake of a tragic love?

“Yet when I stormed into our home, determined and angry and ready to fight for an heirloom that witnessed a lot of memories for my family, I couldn’t be angry at her. She wasn’t overtaken by drugs when she explained things to me, Yura; and suddenly, I was a young kid again. Too naive to fully understand what really was going on. All I can remember was that she was too thin when I hugged her good night. I was overtaken by the relief that I was finally able to talk to her like she was my mother again… Not some woman who was too in love with a man underserving of her that she allowed him to drag her down.”

He was silent after that and Yuri didn’t rush him. 

Memories, as much as they are treasured, are monsters uncovered if you unboxed the wrong album.

“We never heard from her after that.” Otabek explained, “Aisha struggled with Business School and I jumped from one gig to another — tried to build a name in Almaty’s night life to save enough to buy the bar again”  Yuri was trying his best to do a visual of Otabek swaying the crowd with his music. The blonde was sure he was majestic. “and maybe, one day, afford a degree in Music Composition.”  The blonde’s eyes widen after hearing that. 

_I’m sure you can do it,_ Yuri wanted to say but he knew that Otabek wasn’t done.

“A year after that, we heard from a hospital in St. Petersburg. A coma because of heroin overdose.” There was a different tightness on Otabek’s voice and maybe it was stupidness that pushed him, but Yuri finally gave in to the urge to comfort Otabek. So he leaned until his head rested on the other’s shoulder. His heart ached. “She was found by the landlord when he tried to collect the rent. He knew someone was in the apartment, so he forced his entry. That’s where he found her, unconscious and half-way dead.

“Aisha moved to Russia after hearing about it, she wanted to take care of Mom. She wanted me to move too. Tried persuading me to be close enough in case… _In case_ Mom wakes up.” It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Otabek had to recall everything with a voice so emotionless like he had to tell the story multiple times until he’s calloused from the emotions. “We both knew she wouldn’t. The doctors already told us multiple times. They told us that machines can sometimes create a twisted fantasy. A distorted reality of what we want to see.

“But, we’re her kids, you know?” Otabek shrugged, like he expected Yuri to know what he meant, “We wanted to believe that she’ll wake up again.

“I left Russia the moment I realised that she was not coming back. Aisha did not call me back, allowed me to become a coward and run away from the truth of it all. Then one day she called,” He let out a shaky breath and Yuri pressed himself closer, “She said she couldn’t take it anymore. ‘We have to decide, Beka’ she said. That was three months ago. She never forced me when to come; sometimes I wish that she’d hurry me.”

Then suddenly, Otabek was pointing at something, “See that?” Yuri followed to where he was pointing and saw that he was pointing at his motorcycle, “I’ll be selling that once I arrive in Russia. Everything went to my Mom’s hospital bills and Aisha had to drop a year to help with the finances. I want to make it up to her.”

It was a sleek bike. Beautiful and flawless. Yuri has witnessed how caring Otabek was towards it, and without knowing, he knew that it meant something for the man. “I built that. A product of hard gigs on sound boards and night clubs. It’s value is no joke. I hope that the sum of it is enough to have Aisha continue on, and that the new owner takes good care of it for me.”

“You already have a buyer?” Yuri whispered. 

“Not yet. But the offers haven’t stopped.” There was sadness, of course. Yet Yuri can detect pride in his voice as if he was happy  that his work was acknowledged enough that people were interested to offer. “You could have seen the emails, Yura. It’s like an auction.”

“I’m sure it was.” Yuri whispered as he mend his broken heart. 

Otabek was on a meditative trip, and here he was; spoiled, rotten,  and lying — taking advantage on a man who had more than enough on his plate.

“Why do you make it so easy to tell you all of these?” Otabek asked and Yuri had to remove himself from his side to look at him directly. “I don’t think I’ve shared that much information in one go.”

There was a lightness in his eyes now, like sharing all of his secrets to the blonde removed a weight from his shoulders. “I’m just charming, Beka. Don’t hurt yourself over it.” Yuri offered a smile, and Otabek immediately returned it. “We’re in Russia now. I guess that could be a trigger.”

Yuri can offer a lot of things. Money. Influence. 

Does he want the hospital bills paid? Done. Does he want Aisha’s schooling secured? Full term until graduation, plus a job to wherever she wants. Does he want a Degree on Music Composition? Well, Otabek can go straight to production but if he wants to study, Yuri can offer him that too. 

But that’s not what Otabek wants, is it? _No,_ Yuri thought, _he wants his mother back._

“Music Composition?” Yuri asked, hoping to divert the topic. 

“It’s a silly dream.” Otabek chuckled. “One that I got when I didn’t hate music so much.”

Yuri stared at him for awhile, “You don’t hate music, Beka.” He clarified, “You hate music only because that’s the common ground of everything that took your mother away from you.” Yuri explained. He startled when he figured out he might have sounded too personal. He knew he was deflecting. After all, his soul was owned by music too, a slave to it even.

Otabek stared at him, then cocked a smirk. “You said you had the money, the influence, the dream life people wanted. Are you sure you aren’t some young, genius, psychologist?”

“Close.” Yuri only smiled at him, “Some say that I can usually see through people, that I’m a psychic.” He whispered, like he was sharing some secret with Otabek. It was true though, after his career the show-business, he can read people like cards on a deck.

Otabek was silent for awhile, still staring at him like he was a puzzle the guy was willing to solve. “Then can you tell how easy it is to like you, Yura?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys.


	10. And it was called Yellow

_“Then can you tell how easy it is to like you, Yura?”_

What was Yuri supposed to reply to that when his mind all but halted by that whispered confession.  Was he even meant to hear that? Is Otabek waiting for a reply? Wait, did he mean it as a friend or… _Or something more?_

“I know that it’s only been a few days,” Otabek sighed and even without turning, Yuri knew that he was avoiding the blonde’s eyes — not knowing that Yuri could not face him too. “I… I can’t explain it; maybe it’s the almost-meditative feel of this entire trip, god, I don’t know. But damn it, Yura. All I know is that I don’t want this trip to be over and for us to separate ways. And I know that this might be too forward to offer but, if you want an out,” 

_Please don’t say it._ Yuri begged silently, _if you’re about to say what I hope you would offer, please don’t._

“You don’t have to go back.” Mercy was not granted. “I don’t have a lot, but I can offer you a couple of more days. Come with me to Piter.”

Yuri wants, he wants so badly to just say _fuck it_ and accept Otabek’s offer. They could just silently pass Moscow, ignore Viktor and Yuuri, or maybe shut down his phone entirely and just be lost with Otabek for a few more days. Just a few more days of hanging unto his sanity before he lose it again. 

He turned to look at Otabek only to find the guy already studying him. His eyes were hopeful and Yuri wanted to reach out and tell him that _yes, Beka, I’d go wherever you go._ God, it was really just a couple of days but Yuri loves him so much that he was ready to get rid of it all just to have Otabek continue on looking at him like that.  

He wasn’t even shocked by his own confession. He had seen it coming ever since Otabek offered him the control of his own life; a say on things, a choice. He had won the heart of someone who sold his soul to music, and Yuri had thought he lost it somewhere on his road to fame. Yet here they were, Otabek proving him wrong yet again because Yuri can hear his heart beating so loudly on his chest. Wait, what? When was it back there, when only a few days ago,  Yuri was sure he handed it to Otabek.

When Yuri didn’t say anything, Otabek’s eyes went soft, “If it’s the matter of the kidnapping… I will protect you.” Yuri’s heart rebelled in his chest, “I know that’s a very presuming promise but I did good for the past few days, haven’t I? You said that you live in St. Petersburg, right? Won’t you be safer there than in Moscow? I—”

When did Otabek’s handsome figure blur? 

How did Yuri not realize he was crying? 

“What can I do to make you stay, Yura?” Otabek pleaded and Yuri’s heart broke for him. He wanted to gather him in his arms because with how Otabek kept on offering him a place by his side, Yuri can assume that it was never just about companionship, nor friendship. 

Yuri can offer promises — promises that he can keep because fucking hell, it was for that one guy who owned his heart. And Otabek has been a good owner of it so far, even if he didn’t know about it yet. 

Yet. 

Except. 

But.

There will always be that with him, isn’t it?

“Maybe it’s because we’ve been on a high this entire time, Beka.” Yuri whispered, he didn’t want to weave more lies because for once in his life, Yuri Plisetsky wanted to be honest with himself. 

“We have this…” He gestured everything around them, “Mess in everything. And probably… Probably deep inside we’ve been asking for something, someone to just slow us down a bit. I found you, and you… You accepted me.” Yuri hoped Otabek knew just how true those words were. “I want to say _yes._ Believe me, Beka. I want to go with you but—”

“Do you have someone else?” Otabek asked and Yuri’s heart stopped beating because the man looked so defeated. “Someone waiting in Moscow? I have never asked, I just thought—”

“No, I don’t.”

“Then, why?”

It’s the perfect time to admit to everything. To all of _Yurachka_ and all the bullshit Yuri has created. _But not yet,_ at least not while Otabek was already so vulnerable. 

“It’s easy to worship someone who has saved you.” Yuri admitted his greatest truth and his current fear. Yuri knew that he loved Otabek sober unlike _Yurachka_ who can offer false love to sate his lust. Yuri knew his truth, but what about Otabek? “It’s easy to get attached to someone who has healed a massive hole in your soul because that’s what they do, they fill your misses with a little of themselves until you’re whole again.”

Yuri took the courage and held Otabek’s hand. It was bigger and way rougher than his own — a proof that he was used to certain labours that Yuri wasn’t, and he was yet again reminded that in the real world where his music exists and dominated music charts, he and Otabek lived two different lives.

“I have something to settle in Moscow.” His grandfather who was probably worried sick if Viktor came to him with the news of his grandson’s latest vacation, his management who was now high strung and probably paranoid enough to jump at the slightest ring of their phones while hoping that Yuri would give them the good news that he was finally bored and ready to fuck up his life again. There was the constant fear of accidentally dragging Otabek into his world because there will always be too many fans, too many cameras, too many people wishing his downfall that they have already prepared Oscar-winning articles of Yuri’s latest shit at the mere sign that there was an Otabek in his life.

He needs to get everything done. 

He has to tell Otabek the truth come Moscow and to protect him, he had to compromise with Viktor and Yuuri. 

If Otabek is willing to have him in his life as a constant, then Yuri has to prepare for the worst and he was willing to offer his entire being just to protect this. 

_Whatever ‘this’ is to Otabek._

“I… I need to face this, Beka.” He pleaded and held the other’s hand so close to his heart as if the nearness was enough to soothe the pain in his chest, “We’ll figure this out. I promise. I will tell you everything just… Please, just after Moscow.”

Yuri knew he can see dilemma in Otabek’s eyes because for sure, his words sounded like sugar-coated rejection. But he can’t spoil himself with Otabek’s trust and possibly, his love when Yuri has been taking advantage of the entire journey all this time. 

“After Moscow?” Otabek whispered his compromise.

Yuri hoped he can live up to his bargain, “After Moscow.”

 

 

 

 

“Are you okay?” Otabek asked after he put the truck to a stop in front of a bungalow. His voice was almost neutral but Yuri still detected the worry in it. Yuri would understand how Otabek got to that state. 

They shared the view of the night sky after their promise; a promise that somehow turned into a truce of sorts between them.

Otabek never pleaded after that, and Yuri stopped bouncing sentences and words in his head in order to explain everything to Otabek without giving him a hint to the true chaos that was Yuri Plisetsky.

When early morning came through, they drove for Moscow. 

Now, hours and hours later, they stared at the bungalow like it was the climax of a blockbuster movie and Yuri is never ready. He’s not ready to face Otabek just yet; not ready for the possibility of watching him storm off with betrayal in his eyes and the promise to never see the blonde again.

“Hey,” Otabek called and finally Yuri found it in himself to look at him. He knew that Otabek could see his feelings on his face. He had been emotionally battered since yesterday when they have decided to finally face the inevitable that was their feelings. And that fact alone was exhausting Yuri because he hasn’t been fully honest.

If for some miracle that Otabek accepts his final truth, then Yuri would go over the emotional trauma again and again if it would mean that there would be no more secrets between them. But now, Yuri thinks that he was entitled to feeling scared when the threat of losing the only true friend (and love) he had—exists. Otabek reached across to place his hand on top of Yuri’s own. “I can go in with you if you like.”

He wants. God, Yuri wants him to meet Grandpa. Nikolai Plisetsky will like Otabek. They would probably talk about books and their classics, maybe Grandpa would even take out that battered album of Yuri’s childhood and show it to Otabek with a proud smile. He would offer him piroshki like he always does to all of the people Yuri brings over. Nikolai knows that Yuri never brings anyone over unless they are treasured by his grandson. 

Now, he brings a boy over and his grandfather would assume he’s Yuri’s love and he hopes that he would be granted the right to claim Otabek that.

Yuri hopes that his Grandpa found it in himself to hide any _Yurachka_ paraphernalia. 

“Grandpa will probably offer you dinner anyway,” Yuri reasoned when he finally found the strength to swallow the fear and anxiety. He fought the urge to place another hand on top of Otabek’s. 

“If you’re not in a hurry to dump me here…” Yuri laughed it off and miserably failed, “Stay?” He whispered. Yuri wanted to imply that he stay for dinner, but the softness on Otabek’s eyes tells him that he knew that Yuri never meant dinner. 

Since last night, the word _stay_ has never been specific for the two of them.

Otabek never answered him but Yuri tortured himself with the thought that he wanted to say ‘I will’. Of course, Yuri knew he can’t. Like Yuri can’t the evening before when Otabek offered him a place to stay in his life. 

He took a deep breath and actually took his time before releasing it. Yuri gave a nod to Otabek before getting out of the truck, Potya safely napping in the pockets of his hoodie. Otabek met him halfway to the bungalow and didn’t hesitate in wrapping an arm around Yuri’s slim shoulders. Yuri did his best to not let the shiver show when Otabek did it as if it was a norm between them.

When they reached the front door, Yuri actually hesitated in knocking. He knew where the spare key was hidden, but there was this handsome guy beside him that his grandfather had to meet properly and he didn’t want to shock the old man.

“You ready?” Otabek asked when Yuri released a sigh and hovered his knuckles on the stable wood of the door. He nodded in response and gathered as much courage as he could though, without warning, the door opened.

“Yurachka.” His grandfather was standing in front of him, worry written all over his face. “It’s really you,” his arms reached out to his grandson and Yuri can’t fathom the reason why his grandfather looked so worried. _Did Viktor and Katsudon say anything?_ “Oh my boy!” Suddenly, Yuri was collected in a tight hug like he was 5 years old again.

Grandpa was whispering things. Grateful things. Thankful words like Yuri has been gone and Grandpa was blessed of having a moment with his grandson again.  He wasn’t sure what triggered his grandfather to act like Yuri has gone years without visiting so he let the old man cling unto him. 

Minutes past and he felt his grandfather’s arm loosening from the embrace, he straightened up and returned the smile his grandfather bestowed upon him. “Grandpa, I would like you to meet someone,” Yuri hesitated and he suddenly felt self-conscious when the softness in his grandfather’s eyes turned to steel when it’s gaze moved to the man standing beside Yuri. “This is Otabek…” 

Yuri froze and Otabek detected the awkwardness in his introduction until he figured out why Yuri never finished his sentence. The blonde watched him clear his throat and extended a hand towards his grandfather, “Altin. My name is Otabek Altin, sir.”

How could he missed that one fact about Otabek? Just the night before he was spouting about his love towards the man when he doesn’t even know his last name!

What made things a lot more awkward was the fact that Nikolai didn’t immediately took Otabek’s offer of a handshake instead, he looked him up and down first with a scrutinising eye before taking his hand in what surely was a firm grasp. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Altin.”

To Yuri’s credit, Otabek didn’t even flinch. “Please, just Otabek.”

Nikolai gave a stern nod before he let go Otabek’s hand and gestured the boys to enter.

 

 

 

 

Dinner was good. It started with tension which Yuri had expected yet his grandfather was a good host towards Otabek. In fact, to his surprise Otabek handled all the dinner topics in a stride. They both liked the same classic authors, his grandfather has even shared his love of orchestra and his fond memories of meeting the love of his life in one of the many concerts he has attended who only turned out to be Yuri’s late grandmother. On the other hand, Otabek shared his experiences of theatre and musicals in New York when he went there a few years back. Yuri was all ears and took note that if everything went well, he has to bring Otabek there again and relive everything.

Nikolai took to his kitten right away, smiling fondly and mentioned how happy he was that his grandson was able to find himself another feline friend.

No kidnapping was mentioned, and his grandfather never asked anything about the relationship between Yuri and the no-longer-stranger he brought home. It was never mentioned yet it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t the elephant in the room. So, when the dishes were cleared, his grandfather stood in front of his giant window that overlooked his perfect lawn, Yuri knew his time was up. Nikolai only ever does that when he knew Yuri was going to tell him something important. Like how he waited when Yuri broke his grandmother’s vase when he was 9, or that time when he was 12 and promised his grandfather that he will be famous one day and he’ll work hard to get there. When he came out as bi at 15 and drowning in anxiety that he will be disowned, when at 17 he admitted his hatred towards a woman who birthed him but never treasured nor shown him a sign of maternal love, or that awful moment a few years back when his grandfather stood in his place sadly and so full of understanding when Yuri told him that he was going for rehab.

Yuri knew he was staring at the proud back of his grandfather and Otabek  might have caught up to the mood because he gripped Yuri’s shoulder until the blonde tore his gaze from his grandfather to look at Otabek. 

“You need to speak to him,” Otabek whispered.

“I know.” 

“I’ll leave for awhile, give you guys some space.” He offered and Yuri panicked — in which Otabek was quick to calm, “I’ll just roam around for a bit. We passed a store earlier, maybe go through that park too, a few blocks from here. Perhaps look for a place to stay for the night—”

“Don’t be stupid, Beka.” Yuri answered right away, “You’re sleeping here.”

Otabek looked at the back of his grandfather and Yuri was full of fondness when he realised that the guy wasn’t all bravado and confidence after all. “I’m not sure if I’m allowed.” He looked so boyish that Yuri wanted to rake his hand through his messy hair just to soothe him, like one would do with an anxious puppy.

He didn’t do that though, instead, he chuckled. “He likes you. Of course he’ll let you stay.” Otabek was already staring at him and Yuri would like to pretend that he didn’t see him glance at his lips for a whole second before looking the blonde on the eyes again. 

“Okay,” he said before sighing, “I would still like to give you some time though. You said you need to settle something and I respect that. I want to give you some privacy for it.” He wanted to cheer at how fucking considerate Otabek was, yet at the same time, Yuri wanted to protest; suddenly unsure if their promise was enough of a bind for Otabek to not just storm off before Yuri could have the chance of saying his final truth. Otabek could have seen his panic once more because he offered, “Here, I’ll leave the keys to the truck.”

Yuri watched him place a set of keys on the kitchen island before his neck was engulfed by warmth. His hands cradled Yuri’s neck while his thumbs traced the line of his jaw. “I’ll be back soon, okay?” He promised and Yuri took awhile to nod in response. The blonde caught him staring at his lips again before he gave into a compromise, a kiss on Yuri’s forehead. If Yuri wasn’t blushing before, he was now.

Then, he left and Yuri only has to hold on to the fact that Otabek left his keys. He couldn’t leave without them, could he?

Swallowing the anxiety of Otabek’s possible unannounced departure, he turned to look at his grandfather again. 

He started walking towards him. “Grandpa.”

“Yurachka,” He sighed and Yuri knew disappointment once he hears it. “He doesn’t know, does he?” He refused to answer. Refused to face his lies head on when there was now somebody who will confront him for it. “He is a good man, Yuri.”

“I know.” Yuri whispered in response yet he knew that his grandfather heard him.

“The moment that you first called Viktor about your _vacation,_ ” Yuri winced at the word. When his grandfather said it, he began scolding himself in his head at how irresponsible his actions were, “He contacted me. He was very worried, him and his husband. Viktor told me the entire thing. You running out of the diner and screaming about a kidnapping, hopping with a stranger going who knows where, not telling your real identity towards a man who offered you kindness and protection, putting yourself in danger—”

“I was safe with Beka—”

“And an attempted rape?!” Nikolai rarely raised his voice and when he does, Yuri knew when to shut his mouth. “Yuri do you know how worried we were? How could you act so irresponsibly? What if he was a killer or a criminal on the loose? What if he wasn’t so…” His grandfather gestured for something like he was looking for the perfect word, “So good to you? What if it really turned into a kidnapping, huh? No money in the world will guarantee your safety, boy! Do you know how many evenings Katsuki has to force down a sleeping pill down Nikiforov’s throat to get him to sleep? He won’t let go of his phone because you forgot to call them again. They told me that you wanted a vacation and they agreed to compromise! I hope you have reflected about what you did.”

Yuri always felt so low when his grandfather scolded him about being irresponsible, and now wasn’t something new. Yet to hear how everyone was so worried about his stupidity, he could only bow his head and mumble his apology.

“You are lucky that Otabek is a good man.” His grandfather sighed and moved to sit down on his recliner. “You have chosen brilliantly, Yurachka. That, I must say. Your young man is good for you.” 

There were exceptions to the rule. Yuri hated his stage name, loathed it with a vengeance and it took him years to finally accept that it was something that he couldn’t just undo. Yet when his grandfather called him that, or Viktor or even Katsuki at some point, it never failed to sound like an endearment instead of a mockery.

His heart soared at the obvious compliment. One of the most important people in his life favoured the love of his life and Yuri wanted to hop around in happiness. Except, “He is, isn’t he?” He agreed, “I hope he’ll have me.”

His grandfather only chuckled, “You have him wrapped around your finger, boy. I see the way he looks at you. I would know, I looked at your grandmother like that too.” Yuri blushed again at the implication. He hoped for the day that he could boast about it without the guilt holding him down. “But you have to tell him about everything soon. A man like that would love with his entire being. And a broken heart is harder to mend when you have loved with your soul. Do you love him back?”

“I do.” With no hesitations and no compromises. 

“Then you have to be honest with him. Trust is as important as love in a relationship. Do you understand?” Yuri nodded. 

“There…” Yuri started when his grandfather seemed to ran out of words to scold him, “There were many times that I almost said it. In fact, I found a magazine with my face on it at one point and I was so tempted to shove it on his face just to get it over with. It’s just, I didn’t want to let go of him yet. I didn’t want him to treat me differently because I’m famous or that my net worth increases every other month. I told myself that maybe he’ll do a 180 and the next thing I would know was that he was selling me to the paparazzi. I was so scared that the Otabek Altin that I’d known for a few days was actually different if he knew that he was with _Yurachka_.” It’s only been a few days, but all of his fears felt like a full dam and he can’t stop confessing. “Then the next thing I know I was ready to give everything up to be with him. He… He makes me miss myself, Grandpa. He makes me, _me_ and I have never been _me_ for awhile. And I wanted to cherish it.” Yuri admitted and it felt like the world has been removed from his shoulders. 

“I wanted to tell him last night before coming here, but he told me about his life in Almaty, about his mother and his life and I got so… So scared.” Yuri said and he chose to ignore how the tears streamed down his face like waterfalls, or how Potya was nuzzling his ankle in quiet comfort. “Everything he hated, was everything that I am, Grandpa. And I couldn’t tell him.

“And maybe I am lucky enough that he actually feels the same way about me but I think it makes everything harder. How can he trust me when everything started with a lie? How can I keep him with me, Grandpa? Once he knows the truth he’ll—” He was suddenly enveloped in a tight hug and that triggered more tears to come out.

Voicing out his fears always made him a crybaby, feeling his grandfather’s arms around him again felt too comfortable like the familiar walls of a faded apartment where his childhood blossomed. He has never felt comfortable in his mother’s house and he has always drawn his grandfather’s apartment whenever his teachers asked his class to draw his home life. That’s when he swore that when he got enough money, he’d build a castle for his dearest Dedushka. He insisted for a mansion at least when he finally reached his dream bank account, but his grandfather settled for a nice, humble bungalow and he made it into a home. So maybe it didn’t matter where they were, Grandpa has always been Yuri’s home. 

Yuri has always been comfortable crying at home.

 

 

 

 

Nikolai assisted Yuri in changing the sheets in the guest bedroom. Of course the old man never considered the possibility of letting Yuri’s love sleep in some hotel so when his grandchild finally calmed down, he offered their extra room for their guest to use. Yuri blushed when Nikolai made him promise to not do any funny business while they were under his roof. Or at least with him awake in the same house. Yuri only countered that they were not _officially_ in a relationship yet anyway. 

It wasn’t that late yet. But with each passing minute that Otabek’s not back with him, his anxieties grow. Nikolai has succumbed to his bed time while saying that Yuri needed the privacy to tell the truth to Otabek Altin. Before he closed the door of his bedroom though, he teased that they should not get impulsive nor even think about the possibilities of marriage right away, that like their relationship, they were too young. Nikolai closed the door at the blushing and sputtering figure of his grandson.

That was an hour ago. 

Yuri looked back to the kitchen island where Otabek left the object of his promise. His keys were still there, lying like a distorted version of a bait. 

He looked out of the window again and finally, Otabek was coming back to him. 

Yuri couldn’t see him very well and he turned to the front door to welcome him back. His heart was beating wildly in his chest; wilder than it ever did because despite everything else, this conversation will be the only verdict of Yuri’s life. When Otabek opened the door Yuri was already opening his mouth to start explaining. 

But there was a frown in Otabek’s lips, an emotionless neutrality in his eyes when they landed on Yuri and suddenly, the words in his throat were halted. It wasn’t the same Otabek who held him hours ago like he was fine china that needed to be handled with care. This… This was someone else.

Otabek stared at him for a few seconds and Yuri met his gaze until his dark eyebrows glowered at the very sight of the blonde. Yuri’s blood turned cold when Otabek left him to journey back to the kitchen where his keys were. Yuri panicked when he picked them up and traced his steps back to the front door.

Only when Otabek was only 3 steps by the door did Yuri found his voice, “Beka…” He called and watched in horror when Otabek’s hand stopped reaching for the doorknob, “Beka, what happened?” 

Does he even want to know?

Otabek stared at his hand on the doorknob for a few seconds before he turned to face Yuri and slammed something on Yuri’s chest. Its impact wasn’t very strong, like Otabek was too tired to put any strength in it. Yet Yuri tried to hold whatever it was that Otabek placed on his chest.

It was a Vogue magazine. 

His face was cover photo. 

“ _Yurachka?_ ” Otabek started and his voice was rough like he had spent hours screaming. Yuri could only tremble and willed his tears away. “Pop star. Deviant with a string of broken-hearted lovers. In the middle of the tour. Passing Kazakhstan before his last stop in Russia to wrap up.” When Yuri thought about their confrontation, it has never looked worse like he imagined.

He remembered thinking of betrayal and Yuri never doubted that that was exactly what Otabek was feeling right now. But the hurt in his voice stabbed Yuri in the chest. _Why must this be so painful?_

“His greatest tour yet ever since the young pop star left the rehab? A huge come back after the scandalous news about drug addiction.” He wanted to call out the nasty comments on whatever article Otabek has read, but how could he when they have only shown Otabek nothing but the truth of who Yuri Plisetsky was?

“Any of those familiar, Yuri?” Otabek asked and Yuri felt his heart break again at the sight of tears in his usually warm eyes. “Oh, I’m assuming you know who Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki too? They are, after all, your managers. Do they act as your kidnappers from time to time too?” Otabek leaned to the door like he has lost all of his energy. Yuri could only watch him repeatedly bumping his forehead on the hard wood like he was trying to get a control of something again, “I’m so stupid.”

“Beka…”

“Don’t call me that!” Otabek threatened and Yuri wasn’t sure if he ever seen so much hatred before. 

“I was planning to tell you…”

“When?” Otabek faced him again and made him feel so small. “Now? When I offered my entire soul at your feet? When you hooked me up as part of your never-ending string of lovers? God, I told you everything. I fucking told you everything! No wonder it was so easy, you must have had a lot of practices after all.”

“Beka!” He pleaded, _listen to me!_ “I never meant to fool you, I —”

“We had days on the road, Yuri!” Otabek whispered, “You had all the time to tell me. But I guess it was too fun, wasn’t it? _Poor, gullible guy never knew what hit him?_ Was it fun treating me like an idiot?!”

“Beka, no!”

“I opened my soul for you, Yuri.” Otabek was hurt, _so, so hurt_ and Yuri was slapped with the realisation that he was never given the chance to defend himself because he had brought this to himself. He should have told him the truth during the first opportunity. Now he’s losing Otabek before he even really had him.

“I guess I’m not even worth getting a glimpse of yours.”

 

 

 

 

That was the last time he saw Otabek Altin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I now I am way too late on this, but I could never update Now or Never with Yellow hovering over my shoulder like a nightmare. I hope you enjoyed this.


	11. Oh yeah your skin and bones

Losing Otabek felt like death.

Yuri figured that fact the moment Otabek left Moscow without a certain blonde with him in his truck. 

He had cried. 

Of course he had. 

His heart was broken before it was fully whole and maybe he lost most of himself that night too. He can’t remember a lot, but he knew that he got too unresponsive that Viktor and Yuuri both had to fly back to Moscow and look after him along his grandfather. 

Yuri wasn’t sure how he kept himself clean or if he even got to eat anything at all. All that he could remember that first week was crying and being miserable.

He was sure that Viktor and Yuuri had pulled a lot of strings to get the media off his tail. Apparently, his few days off social media caused a little chaos within his fans. Rumours started mounting up; rumours about reverting to drugs, another rehab visit, a wild orgy in his tour bus, god, some of his fans even thought he died in a gutter somewhere. Then it only turned to worse when Yuri shut himself off for another week because he couldn’t deal with the fact that when he finally found someone worth turning his life around, he lost him because that’s just what Yuri does — make bad decisions.

When he came to himself again, Viktor and Yuuri looked exhausted when they told him that he can have another week off. The final lap of the Kazakhstan tour had been moved and if anyone asks what happened, he was down with a life-threatening flu. 

He spent his 2nd week off with his grandfather and did his best with helping on chores he never got to do when he’s busy fucking up his life. Helping with the dishes that only ended up with a broken dish and a cracked mug, messing up the laundry because no one told him that the coloured and the whites ones can’t be mixed. The only thing that he half-succeeded on was when he tried his hand on domesticating his kitten, only during those moments with Potya, Yuri would catch himself crying again. 

As self-defence he would like to fool himself that the few days on the road with a certain Kazakhstani never happened. That, like what his managers told him, he was only half-delirious with flu and therefore created a whole alternate universe where he was offered the freedom of the road and the love of his life beside him. Sometimes that helped. He could breathe a little more if he could at least make himself believe it.

But Otabek Altin did happen in his life. He still had the clothing they bought Yuri from a store somewhere in Ufa. He still had Puma-Tiger-Scorpion kneading his leg when Yuri got too quiet and stopped giving attention. The fucking pain in his chest never stopped throbbing so Otabek Altin must have been real because no fantasy nor dream could hurt that much.

Next thing he knew, it had been 2 months. 

The tour is over and no one was wiser to guess that something or someone happened in Yuri’s life. 

The last leg of his tour had been on the headlines for weeks and people were already buzzing on what’s next for _Yurachka._ He has been doing well was he? At least that’s what everyone was saying.

It was all a blur for Yuri however.

Now, now he was watching Potya reacquaint himself with his St. Petersburg home. Yuri looked around and noticed how fucking perfect his flat was. Floor to ceiling walls, too much space in guises of being minimalistic, hundreds of musical awards from childhood to present, a wall of pictures of people that actually mean to Yuri. Yet, his flat felt empty unlike the warmth the Moscow bungalow offered him, his grandfather within reach and always ready to offer an ear or an embrace when Yuri’s thoughts get too much.

Without the stress of the tour, Yuri was left with nothing to do. He knew his journal was full of pinning songs that no one was ever going to listen to. He could play the piano. If only he could find the motivation to actually play it. He could call someone and just drown in physical pleasure but the very thought of sharing his body with someone else not _him_ did nothing but add to the pain on his chest.

God, he just wants to talk to Otabek. 

Anything. 

Yuri was even ready to play his stupid road games. Or do cheap tequila shots. Or just argue about the closest and cheapest accommodation they could find online.

The stars aren’t even visible in the city skyline and so unlike the ocean of it when they were driving through never ending roads — the next town hours away.

Yuri hurriedly wiped the tear that dared to flow down his cheek. 

See, this was exactly the part where he knew that Otabek Altin wasn’t just a phase. Yuri could have cheered at the fact that he was still capable of loving. He wanted to shout it at the world that despite everything else, Yuri Plisetsky has fallen in love and experienced the fucking pain it causes to its unfortunate victim. A middle finger up to all of those assholes who claimed that his heart was made of stone and steel at how apathetic he was before. In contrary to their claim, Yuri’s heart was far from the hardness of stone or the sharpness of steal at how tender it felt right now.

His eyes went to his battered journal once more. All of his feelings were written there and Yuri hoped that he had the chance of showing Otabek all of his thoughts before their time together ended. There was so many things he wanted to say, so many things to show.

God, did he even made it to St. Petersburg or did he go back to Kazakhstan?

Yuri have his ways, of course. He could have pulled a string and he’d knew which hospital admitted Otabek’s mother. He could have gone there right away if he wanted to, force Otabek in a confrontation and make him listen. Yet, he didn’t. He wanted to respect him. 

He knew he wasn’t Otabek’s world, perhaps he’ll never be. And unlike Yuri, his world didn’t revolve around the blonde either. So he kept his distance. 

“Yuri?” A voice called and Yuri almost laughed at how careful it sounded. He was in no mood to even act bothered about it though. “Yuri, do you want some tea?” It was Katsudon. 

He felt himself shaking his head in response. He doesn’t need the calming effects of tea right now. “Do you… Do you want vodka instead?” It was rare for Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov to offer such vice. And if Yuri was in his right mind, he could have jumped into the bait and take the offer without another thought. His manager was giving him some time out and really, Yuri should take it. 

He only found himself tiredly pulling himself up from the lying position he unconsciously took on the living room couch. When did he even lie down? Why was his couch so… Gigantic? “I’m kinda tempted to take you on your offer, Katsudon.” He replied and he tried to summon that usual smirk but nothing else came. “Alcohol is usually Viktor’s run-to, Katsudon. Not yours.”

He felt weak and he immediately recognised the scanning of Katsudon’s eyes on his physique like the mother hen that he was. He wanted to roll his eyes. “When was the last time you ate?” Yuri shrugged. He can’t exactly remember.

“Potya ate this morning, though.” He offered and the world should be fucking proud that he may not be able to properly take care of himself right now, but hell, he can take care of his beloved kitten at least.

Yuuri only sighed, “I’ll go order take out. You need to eat something, Yura.” He watched the Japanese man stroll towards his rarely used kitchen were they have last placed all the take-out flyers in. Yet, before he could go through Yuri’s gazillion kitchen drawers, he turned to face Yuri head on. “Viktor will be here in a few minutes.” No surprise there. His managers were rarely seen in two different locations for long periods of time. “He just gathered some documents and we… We need to tell you something.” 

If he wasn’t so cryptic before, he was now.

Yuri only shook his head before letting his body fall back to the couch, his hand falling out of the furniture when Potya ran towards him like he finally recognised that his human was awake. He let Yuri pet his head for awhile before deciding that his level of affection got too much and that his next option was biting Yuri’s finger. 

That brought a smile on his face right away, “You’re growing up so fast, Potya.” The kitten didn’t really acknowledge him, instead he chose that exact moment to show Yuri how he grooms himself. Yuri didn’t realise he was laughing until he felt the shaking of his own chest. “Don’t grow up too fast now, okay?” He whispered and despite the red scratches on his hand, he still braved poking the small Himalayan. 

Yuri’s eyes went to his journal again, fighting the urge to scan through it for the nth time that morning. Shaking his head at how pathetic he has gotten that day, he moved to lie down on his stomach and grabbed his phone. 

Its battery was almost depleted but Yuri didn’t feel the usual panic at the sight of it. Normally, when his iPhone signalled that he was already 20% down, his ass would fire up to look for his power bank or charger. Now though without the tour and without any motivation to really move on with his life, Yuri ignored the alarming 8%. 

He scrolled through his gallery and convinced himself that he wasn’t looking for one particular photo. He slowly skipped through 600-something shots and videos until he found what he was looking for. 

It was taken during one morning in a town he forgot the name of. It was a simple photo that made him itched on posting in his social media when it was first taken. Otabek’s back was facing the camera. All muscles and sweat pants low on his hips. He was leaning on the railing and an obvious cigarette was on one hand. 

He remembered a lot of things. He recalled admiring him from afar and secretly trying to get an Instagram worthy picture of a guy so magnificent in his morning irritation. He stared at it some more before he opened an enhancing app and automatically played with filter + brightness + exposure + sharpness + temperature until the photo was manipulated enough for Yuri’s keen eye for his IG feed.

He won’t really post it. Not really. No matter how close he was on actually posting it in his profile. He liked to pretend sometimes; that he had this, that he can post pictures of this guy because he had the right. That Otabek won’t mind having his image immortalised in a small frame and exhibited all over the globe. He won’t mind it because it will be Yuri posting it. 

He typed the first thing that came into his mind. Just a simple phrase and unlike his other pictures, bare of hashtags. It was already too late when he realised that his hand automatically clicked on something and before his brain could really do anything about it, the page he was staring at looked different than usual.

 

> **_yurachkaofficial:_ ** _i miss you_

 

_Oh my god._

His heartbeat started beating up way too fast and he tried blinking to make sure he wasn’t tricking himself into another delusion. He went to his official feed and _what the fuck,_ it was really there. He posted the photo and for some reason it wasn’t even the manipulated one he initially wanted to play with. 

Then his phone went black. 

“What the fuck.” He whispered as his hands immediately went for the power and home button. 

No response.   
“What the fuck!” he screamed and threw his phone like it scarred his entire life. _Well technically, it kinda did._ Yuri thought and there was no undoing what he did. It won’t reach millions in a few seconds of course but he knew his post had alerted hundreds of his fans and screenshots of it have surely made it all around the web already. Yuri could only cover his mouth in annoyance and shame.

 _His back was turned,_ he pacified, _no one will know it’s him, right?_

Otabek didn’t have any tattoos nor scars that could identify his identity. So, he’s still safe from the hounds of hell that doubled as fans and media personnels, right?  _Oh god, I fucked up._

“Yura?” Katsudon called and jogged back to the living room again, his worry so obvious behind his blue-framed glasses. “What happened? I heard you shout…”

“I fucked up again Katsudon.” He replied right away. “Oh my god, I fucked it up again.” Panic was starting to tighten its hold on his neck and then Yuri couldn’t breath. 

“Shhh, Yuri.” There was a set of hands in his shoulders, “I need you to breathe. Come on, sweetheart.” He kept on repeating his mantra and Yuri fought through the haze like an automaton. Panic attacks are never rare for someone like him. Unfortunately. 

Katsuki was surely rubbing circles on his back and counting numbers on his ear because it wasn’t long until Yuri could feel air in his lungs again. He was still trembling though.

His breathing slowed down and he knew that along the way, he started leaning on Katsudon and Potya obviously learned how to climb the couch because there was now a small bundle of warmth right beside his hip.

“Yuuri? Yura?” Another voice echoed through the whole flat but unlike his normal reactions of voicing a _fuck you_ to it, Katsudon replied for him instead. 

“In here, Vitya.” 

Yuri knew the instant that Viktor came into the living room despite not seeing his manager. The silence between the couple was enough indicator for Yuri that they were doing that creepy shit again — the one were they pretended to be superhuman and can converse telepathically. 

Then in an instant, Viktor was kneeling in front of him and rubbing warmth on his legs. “What happened, kitten?” 

God they were so careful with him that if he wasn’t just weakened by a panic attack, he would have slugged them both. But instead of his spitfire replies, he muttered at how he fucked up again. 

“I didn’t mean to post it?” He clarified and usually Viktor would scold him at not being careful with his posts on social media because it was irritating to clear up the media hounds from his trail. Usually Yuri enjoyed troubling Viktor. 

But he didn’t really mean it now.

“What could be worse than that nude leak you did a few years back?” Viktor answered automatically and Yuri tiredly chuckled despite feeling Katsudon rolling his eyes at it. Good days. He watched Viktor pull his phone out, “Was it in Instagram?” Yuri nodded and he opened the app in record time. 

Yuri watched him switch to his professional self in a heartbeat and he knew that Viktor was already calculating the amount of PR he has to do, before passing the phone to his husband who did the exact same thing. “I… I didn’t meant to post it, Vitya. My finger automatically pressed on the post button. I’m not even conscious when I’ve done it and I wanted to delete it right away and I know that wouldn’t have helped much but my phone died and…” He remember to breathe again because Katsudon was already squeezing his arm like a tight reminder, “And I fucked up again, didn’t I?”

Viktor sighed and Yuri worried that he disappointed another person today. 

“It’s fine,” Viktor placated right away. He did that annoying heart shaped smile and Yuri wasn’t sure if he was only being babied or just being tricked into calming down. “It was only his back and since you’re not in the middle of a tour, you don’t have to answer to anyone.”

“Vitya’s right, Yura. That would keep your fans and the media on their toes. Sometimes, accidents like that are good PR.” For some reason, that didn’t sound right to Yuri and before he could stop himself, he was already up and out of their comfy nest.

“But what if Beka sees it?” Yuri yelled, “He’ll think I’m using him to be on the spotlight again. God! I feel so stupid.” They let him rant it out and burn his steam, “I mean, who does that? Who accidentally posts shit like that? Beka will think I’m after him and I know that he doesn’t want to see me—”

“How could you say that?” Viktor asked and Yuri stopped ranting for awhile and stare at the proud figure of his manager. “How could you say that he doesn’t want to see you?”

“Because you don’t know how angry he was when he left Moscow!” Yuri yelled and his heart stung once more at the memory of that one door being slammed on his face 2 months past. “Anger like that makes you don’t want to see people! It makes you hate them until there’s nothing left for them but loathing!”

“And anger can calm down, Yura. You know that.” Viktor sighed, “And it’s been 2 months.” 

Yuri knew that. He counted the days, the hours, the minutes while he drowned with regrets formed out of words unsaid and misjudged feelings. And just like that, he was back in his grandfather’s bungalow again — breaking Otabek’s heart as Yuri broke his.

“What difference does 2 months make?” Yuri whispered after he felt his sudden bout of energy fade. “I can still feel my chest hurting like he just slammed the door to my face.”

 

 

 

 

Judging by the darkness around him, Yuri guessed it was evening already. _Great,_ another day doing nothing. 

He didn’t know that he fell asleep, couldn’t even remember when exactly he moved back to his equally spacious and obviously cold bedroom.

He sat up when he finally felt the predictable feeling of sinking in the middle of his bed. He had always felt that these days, like the bed was alive and is doing its best to swallow him in. Yuri had to admit though, it was too big for just one person and a kitten — like everything else in his flat. Yuri couldn’t even recall the reason why he bought it in the first place. Maybe it was because of the convenience of it being near the studio, or that a flat like that fit a celebrity like him, pretentious with its aesthetic when in truth, it’s only an empty nest.

He ghosted out of his room like it was a routine. Wake up, feed and play with Potya, lose himself on the what-ifs and could-have-beens, scroll through social media if he remembered to actually charge his phone, stare at the small collection of snapshots he took on the road, feed and play Potya and go back to bed.

When he opened the door, the smell of Japanese cooking welcomed him.

As did a massive, brown poodle.

“Well, hello to you too, Makkachin.” He whispered to the giant dog his managers kept as pet, maybe he slept long enough for one of them to go back to their home and fetch their dog. Yuri already grimaced at what he was eventually going to be subjected on. He liked to pretend that the silly domesticity between his managers makes him gag, which it usually does but not as often as he claimed it to be. But maybe he won’t mind as much tonight. Any company in his spacious flat is better than none. 

He gave her a lasting kiss on her temple before bending down to court his cat who was tailing Makkachin like a duckling. “You hungry?” He whispered as Potya let him scratch his chin. 

“He scared the life out of Makkachin when he clawed at her. She tried to scratch at your door for entry and Potya won’t let him.” Viktor answered with a chuckle, his voice was coming from the living room. “She spent the entire afternoon making peace with him and now their best friends.”

He smiled at the picture of Potya defending his fort from the overgrown puppy. “Silly kitty,” he whispered to Potya’s head when he gathered him in his arms and gave him a kiss on the head too. “Makka means well.” His peace though was fast hidden, feeling energetic for the first time in weeks, when he entered the living room. “Potya was a badass tiger in his past life, defending my kingdom from noisy mutts.” 

He answered before flopping on the couch and placed Potya on his lap, Makkachin followed him and was quick on resting her head on one thigh, tail gently wagging. Viktor was seated on the opposing couch and was organising what looked like dozens of paperwork. He seemed engrossed on them because he didn’t reply to Yuri. 

Then his eyes landed on his journal that was still on the table in front of the couch, his phone was on top of it. Yuri forced his attention away from them. 

“Is Yuri awake, Vitya?” Katsudon shouted from the kitchen and Viktor replied to him quickly that Yuri rolled his eyes right away. He won’t answer to Yuri but of course he would answer to his husband in a heartbeat. 

With that thought in mind, Yuri wondered if he would be blessed like that one day. To have the chance of being so in-tune with someone that things are done as a tandem. Yuuri was obviously finishing up dinner and Viktor was finalising whatever paperwork needed to be done at that instant. He knew that Viktor was usually more than happy to leave work and help Katsudon with dinner. So if the paperwork made him worry, Yuri chose to smother that thought with a vengeance. 

“Ok, Yura,” Katsuki came in with a tray of mouth-watering food that only made Yuri realise on how awfully hungry he really as. “Help me clear out the table?”

He didn’t even offer an objection and eventually removed his journal and phone from the centre table and assisted in putting the utensils and dishes on top of the clear crystal. Yuri didn’t even get the chance to sneak a peek on one paper as both managers cleared it in one go. 

Before he knew it, dinner was done and Viktor was removing the dishes from the table and replacing them back to the tray, Yuri could only watch Katsuki place the paperwork back to the table and await what he assumed was a thorough scolding. “Okay,” he sighed, “Let’s get this over with, how much damage did I do now?”

The couple only looked at him, then at each other. “What?” Katsuki asked. 

Yuri rolled his eyes at them, “For the Instagram post earlier. What’s my damage?” 

Viktor only laughed at him while Katsuki smiled. “Like what we’ve said Yura, you—” he pointed at the blonde before sitting himself beside his husband again. “Are not entitled to answer anyone while on break.”

Yuri frowned. “What? No one’s asking? Nobody’s curios? Are you bullshitting me?” 

Viktor only rolled his eyes, “Of course not. Your Instagram account was exploding when it charged back up. We had to shut off the notifications on all platforms.”

“Everyone is on a man hunt for Otabek, Yura. Let’s start with that.” Yuuri answered in a more sober tone and the blonde of course expected that much from his fans. You don’t just post someone in Instagram and expect everyone to calm their shit down. “Everyone is curios, of course. After all, _Yurachka_ just don’t post someone’s photo online and with a pining caption to boot. The good part is that, the background on the photo is too generic for anyone to really pinpoint the location and hack its system to find out if you really went there and who you were with. And kudos to Otabek for not getting any special tattoos or it could have made everything worse.”

“The media has been begging on your doorstep for an interview, asking who, I quote, ‘ _the juicy flavour of the month_ ’ is.” Yuri had to grimace at that. Otabek did accuse him of that after all. “Again, we don’t have to answer to anyone. The photo can stay in your account. It’s not everyday that you post someone’s photo there, Yura. Regardless of how many times you have confirmed that you’re in a fling with someone or bedding them, you never showed them in your social media. So posting Otabek’s picture online actually created an assumption that you have found yourself a stable relationship.”

Yuri’s jaw dropped. “They can’t do that!”

“It’s social media, Yura.” Viktor confirmed.

It was a nice thought though, him being in a stable relationship with Otabek Altin. “Well, too bad. It’s not true!” The fact that he ruined the chances of a relationship was left unsaid.

“Okay,” Viktor sighed, “We actually have more matters we want to discuss with you. For now, let everyone foam in the mouth trying to figure out who the boy is, and hope that Otabek won’t be after your ass before you confront his.”

Yuri frowned. _What?_

Viktor and Yuuri might have seen his reactions because Yuuri started explaining, “We’ve been worried, Yura. We know that you haven’t been in any good shape the past 2 months and we hired someone to do some investigation—” 

“I swear to god, if you have Otabek—”

“No, no.” Yuuri quickly interjected, “Nothing happened. We just wanted to really keep some tabs, trying to figure out the best chance for the two of you to talk.”

“Well, for now, what you must know is that they went back to Kazakhstan a few weeks ago.” So, he’s back there, huh. “They buried their mother.”

Yuri looked at Viktor as he allowed his own grief show. 

_Are you okay, Beka?_

He wanted to shout — demand if the stupid investigator his managers hired was able to get Otabek’s number because he wanted to be there. He didn’t think if Otabek would even allow him but _god-fucking-dammit_ he just wants to be there for him.

“The sister—”

“Aisha.” Yuri answered automatically, “Her name is Aisha.”

“Aisha, is moving back to Almaty.” Yuuri explained and the blonde felt him hesitate, “She came back to Piter yesterday to start the process. Otabek’s with her.”

Yuri’s heart skipped a beat. _He’s here._ Hope began blossoming in him and he had to stare at his managers and pleaded. “Yes, we know where her apartment is. And you don’t get to go there yet.”

Viktor slid some folders in front of him. He opened them one by one and at first it didn’t make sense until something familiar popped up. He had signed papers like these before. “What—”

“We found out that a bar belonged to Otabek’s family for generations, and it got sold due to personal reasons.” Anger was starting to flow in his veins, an emotion that had always been the easiest for him to channel at moments when he needed to defend himself. 

But instead of himself, Yuri was angry in behalf of Otabek. “These are all personal matters!”

“No.” Viktor countered, and there’s a coldness in his voice that made Yuri shiver. “These are compromises, Yuri. You can own the bar.” Yuri didn’t like the sound of that. “Or you can buy it and hand it back to the Altins. It’s going to be your choice. The buyer who got it from the late Mrs Altin was a friend of a friend. The negotiation was easy when the price is right.”

“And we found this,” Yuuri handed him another folder. Dread came back to him when he saw pictures of a familiar motorcycle. “I’m going to assume you know about it because you were in that truck he used to transport his bike to Piter. He doesn’t have a buyer yet, Yura.”

Yuri scoffed, “What makes you think he’s going to sell it to me?”

“Not you.” Viktor answered, “It could be under my name or Yuuri’s. Or we can hire someone to buy it for us. Get multiple people to bid for it.”

Yuri can’t believe it. He closed the folders and closed a fist. He appreciated their efforts. Of course he does. They were willing to do a lot of things for him, things he never asked them to and would never think of asking them. But after everything that happened, Yuri could only look at the broken glass of Otabek’s trust and immediately feel his confidence disappearing. 

“I…” Yuri sighed, “How do you think he’ll react when he found out I’m trying to close him in with money?” He looked at the two and he didn’t know if he should be glad or not that he detected guilt and disgust in their eyes. They’ve never stooped this low before, but for them to do it for him was kinda endearing. “I mean, if I was in his position, I’d feel threatened. If Otabek won’t talk to me, then he won’t.” As much as that hurt, Yuri was more than willing to do just that.

“He’s okay without me.” He pushed the folders further into the table, “Let’s leave it at that.” He moved to stand up.

“We are not trying to buy out the Altin’s, Yura.” Viktor called, “We’re creating a situation for you so you could finally talk to Otabek. We can buy the bar and just gift it to Aisha. It doesn’t even have to mean anything, just as a thank you for Otabek for taking care of you while you were on the road. They don’t need to contact us anymore after that, nor us with them. It’s a no strings attached situation.”

Yuri snorted. _No strings attached, my ass._

“We can buy the motorcycle from Otabek too.” Katsuki added, “We can meet him to negotiate the price. If he accepts then it’s going to be your choice if you want to keep it or just give it back to him. If he rejects, then at least we came close enough to offer him a ticket.”

Yuri turned around. “Ticket?” He frowned, “What ticket?”

“We decided that a hiatus for you is the best.” Viktor said with a shrug. “Take a break for as long as you want.” 

He watched Katsuki reach for his journal and Yuri wanted to scream at him for inviting himself on reading Yuri’s most private thoughts, “If you’re okay with this,” he gestured for the journal. “We can have a small unplugged concert before the hiatus?”


	12. Interlude.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Yuri was letting go, maybe Otabek can too.

 

 

> _A friend of my mine has shown me the pictures of the bike that you have built. I have a son who’s very much interested in buying. Can you meet me at Wolfsbane cafe on 17th street around 3PM?_
> 
> _I would like to discuss the specifics of the materials personally._
> 
> _-YKN_

 

 

 

Otabek has been receiving a flood of emails from interested buyers all around the globe. And if he was greedy enough, he should have gone and said yes to the highest bidder. Yet something was really holding him back. 

His sister promised him that he should not hurry on selling his bike when he spent months building from scratch, or _actually, Beka, you don’t have to sell it._

_But Aisha—_

_You don’t have to sacrifice for me, zhanym. Don’t be like Mom._

Nothing had made sense after that. He’s trying his best to support his sister, but she’s doing the same with him and she’s excelling on it.  And after the year she has done her best to support the emotional baggage their small family has, Otabek was torn between wanting to support her financially and following every demand that she has. And she only has one demand so far, _do not sell the bike, Beka._

Everything felt like a blur when he arrived in St. Petersburg and rushed straight to his mother’s hospital. Aisha’s hug was so tight that Otabek worried if she had shouldered more than she had let on during their daily phone calls. All he could do was hug her back as tight as he could.

3 months ago, she called him during the wee hours of an Almaty morning. The doctors had explained to her again, she shared, how hopeless their situation was and that they hoped that the Altins would consider other options. Aisha was so angry and Otabek listened to her yell her shame and disappointment at the mediocre medical field the hospital had. His heart sank for having to witness his only source of hope stoop low. 

_What other options are there, Aisha?_ He whispered and his heart sank when she heard him. He didn’t mean to say it out loud. She didn’t reply to his statement and Otabek had to check his phone multiple times to make sure she didn’t hung up on him. 

Aisha had been the hope between them while Otabek shouldered all the cowardice and denial there was in their situation. He had worried she would get angry with him but after a few minutes of complete silence, Aisha whispered; _I guess you’re right, Beka. I think it’s time._

_No!_ He wanted to scream, to demand, to stop her because her decision was scaring the boy inside him that was never will be ready to face the fact that his mother was going to die. He knew that they will end up that way. He had long accept that fact. It’s quite hard not to when you stare at a person who was once so full of life, who sang lullabies for his rest, who held him in his most vulnerable, artificially breathe with the assistance of a machine.

It had hurt. 

It hurt him so bad that it pushed him to go back to Almaty and leave Aisha behind. Seeing her so full of hope broke his heart. And he couldn’t face her when deep inside, he acknowledged that what he knew was different with what she hoped. 

So he left for Almaty.

Close to a year, he let her have her own time, to come into her own conclusion that eventually, they had to let go. 

Yet, he was never prepared when Aisha finally told him that she was ready to face it. _Let’s pull the plug, Beka._ She whispered. 

He cried when he hang up. 

He was scared, and broken, and Aisha was understanding. She allowed him to journey the long way to Piter, to take his time. Otabek was their baby and even if he has faced their fact earlier than she did, he would never be ready to let go of the person he has admired most. 

The first day of his journey, he travelled to Astana. 

He has expected a lot of things while he was on the road. He had expected the overwhelming thoughts, the tears, the phantom pains in his chest but he has never expected that of all the times he has been a coward, he’d come to face with the thought that he should demand more time from Aisha. After all, he had given her a year to come into terms with everything, why can’t he demand the same?

Can he actually ask for another year from Aisha?

_You can,_ a voice whispered, _it’s never bad to be selfish for a few months when you’re going to lose her forever._

He was nearing the boarders of Astana when he decided to go back. 

His tank was almost done and he had to refill it if he wanted to go back to Almaty. 

He found a gasoline station right beside a diner and made a quick work on refilling his tank to be on his way back to Almaty before he changed his mind.

Only, he never did.

It could have been divine intervention when he allowed a frantic blonde into his truck and into his life. 

He should have been thankful for the company however. 

Yuri made him so… Curios that eventually, his thoughts calmed down enough to think everything through. And he did. Although Yuri had become a frequent distraction during their days on the road. 

There was his blonde hair that shined like gold underneath the summer sun. His rare laughter during his silly games and his curiosity over some of the mischievous shit Otabek has gone through with his friends. His diva self which never failed to amuse Otabek because they had to banter so much just to meet halfway; and meeting halfway with Yuri was like a game of dodgeball — engaging and quite life-threatening. 

He didn’t really get a heads up when he started having feelings for Yuri. Maybe it was the happiness in his face when he found a kitten abandoned along the road and something in his green eyes told Otabek that he’ll end up keeping the cat. 

Maybe it was his eyes. 

And who was Otabek trying to kid? 

Yuri had the prettiest pair of green eyes Otabek has ever seen. 

Sometimes, Otabek could see himself being reflected amongst those emerald pools and he wondered too many times if Yuri could really see through him. Or maybe they’re just too alike. 

One will never get those strong eyes unless you’ve gone through war. Maybe Yuri had one himself while Otabek was trying to survive his. 

The strength in his eyes was Otabek’s downfall. And suddenly, he was noticing things. The light freckles on his face when the sun got too high, the unusual habit of extending his legs whenever he had the chance to, like he knew exactly what Otabek thought of his flawless thighs. His gentleness over a stray like he knew how being abandoned felt like and swore to never let another undergo the same shit. And his voice. God, Otabek has forgotten how songs should feel like. 

If anyone would ask, Otabek would blame the alcohol if he was asked how Yuri and himself got intertwined that one night. Maybe one of them was a restless sleeper, or one got too cold and cuddled at the closest source of heat. He could deny all he wanted, only, he couldn’t do that. Otabek knew what happened. 

They both lost their shirts before sleeping in and when Yuri got too deep in his dream land, Otabek gathered him against his chest. 

Nothing else felt so right. 

Yuri felt real compared to everything in his life and he was so thankful that he wasn’t alone that night because his thoughts got overwhelming. Tequila and Yuri felt like a good combination at that time.

He felt like victory and loss, like life and dream — so unlike the nothingness that overwhelmed him for weeks and almost suffocated him. 

He wanted Yuri. 

He wanted his strength. His determination. His pride. _Him._

He wanted him so badly and he kinda loved the guy. 

So it hurt.

It hurt when he saw Yuri’s reality. Because the truth is, like everything in his life, Otabek was insignificant. 

He was not important enough to Yuri. 

He was playing with him and Otabek was ready to offer his world to someone who had the universe in the palm of his hand.

The truths, the addiction, the fame, the list of conquered lovers… The magazine felt like a bible and Yuri was god.

It was a bad lesson for him, he shouldn’t have offered his heart to someone who wouldn’t do the same for him. 

_After Moscow indeed._

Otabek was done crying when the last of his mother was placed in a pretty yellow urn. She always liked yellow, said that they reminded her of sunflowers. So when Aisha presented him her purchase one Sunday evening, Otabek hugged his sister so tightly that they almost dropped it.

They fell asleep in Aisha’s apartment cuddled close. He didn’t sleep. He didn’t cry. All he could do was replay his mother’s voice when she whispered how her baby boy will eventually fall in love with a sunflower so bright and pretty it would shame the roses around them. 

_Touché, mother_ he whispered. He offered his soul to a sunflower so pretty it broke him. He fell in love with a sunflower so bright it blinded him.

Otabek tried to forget Yuri. He tried so badly.

Yet his eyes followed him to Almaty and haunted Otabek’s subconscious. After all, in waking hours, Yuri was non-existent. In dreams, he tangled with a man covered in sunflowers. 

Now, Otabek was back in St. Petersburg to help out with Aisha’s move. She’s moving back to Almaty and has made the decision to finally enjoy domestic life with her boyfriend. The boyfriend’s handling his own move and Otabek offered to assist Aisha with her own. He tried to focus on his task in hand and tried his best to not acknowledge the real reason why Piter seemed so enthralling. 

He was actually amazed, seeing Yuri’s reality so obvious in his home city. He wasn’t only in newsstands, but his face was in billboards and advertisement, god, his face was on a t-shirt! Why Otabek wanted to torture himself with a hopeless love, no one will ever know. 

He told Aisha this, one night when Yuri’s face and thoughts of him got too much. 

At first, she didn’t believe him and Otabek understood. How can a celebrity ever crossed paths with a nobody like him? But too many nights smoking too many cigarettes and drowning too many tequila shots eventually broke her heart for him. She taught him mainly about love. She told him, while laughing, that she was too young to actually teach him shit about love but no one will smack his head otherwise so he’d have to settle with her half-assed advices. 

His heart felt a little lighter after that. 

So, he’d told her about the bike he has been working on. She smacked his head again and demanded him not to hurry on selling his bike. Or again, not actually sell it.

Otabek has been filtering the buyers since then. Reading out their proposals of wealth and a few more incentives, a stable job as a private auto-mechanic or visits in personal garages. Some buyers got a little handsy when they first met him, offered him positions as a different-kind of mechanic. Otabek won’t even shake their hands after meeting them.

He was about to follow his sister and just be done with his life decisions when that email came in.

 

 

 

 

 

> _A friend of my mine has shown me the pictures of the bike that you have built. I have a son who’s very much interested in buying. Can you meet me at Wolfsbane cafe on 17th street around 3PM?_
> 
> _I would like to discuss the specifics of the materials personally._
> 
> _-YKN_

 

 

 

He showed Aisha the email and she told him that it looked promising. _I don’t think the writer will try on giving you a hand job, Beka,_ she teased. _You should meet them._

So Otabek did. 

He arrived in Wolfsbane 10 minutes to 3o’clock and ordered himself a cup of black coffee. The cafe wasn’t that busy and Otabek was lucky enough to have snatched a booth at the farthest corner of the cafe. 

When 3PM struck, the cafe door opened and Otabek hoped it was his business partner for the day. He wouldn’t know, couldn’t guess if it was really him since Otabek was facing away from the main entrance. The sender of the email seemed to be not the type to be late however, so it wasn’t a surprise when a hand tapped on his table that triggered him to follow the slim finger and come face to face with a man he has only seen in a magazine page, online articles, and stolen glimpses on Youtube videos. 

He should have known. 

Otabek’s heart began racing. He didn’t expect Yuri to bounce back into his life. “Otabek Altin?” The man asked and Otabek wanted to shake his head in denial, wanted to bolt out because he can’t be there. But how can he when the eyes of Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov zeroed on him like a target. 

“May I sit here?” He asked and waited for Otabek to actually acknowledge him. He only sighed before nodding. 

He was offered a smile and a waitress immediately catered to his order of tea, after dropping  off Otabe’s cup of black coffee.

“So, tell me about your bike.” He opened and Otabek’s feeling on bolting intensified. 

“Let’s forget about that,” Otabek answered instead, “What do you want?”

To his benefit, Yuuri actually looked surprised. “Oh,” he answered before fixing his glasses when it slipped on the bridge of his nose, “I guess you know who I am.”

Otabek only looked away. 

He couldn’t forget the details on that one Vogue bible. Those details broke his heart so bad that Otabek still struggled on its healing. “Yuri doesn’t know that we’re meeting today, in case that’s what you’re thinking.” He gave another smile when the waitress finally delivered his tea and asked them if they would like anything else. They both shook their heads and she left them. “Honestly, Yuri didn’t want us being nosy with his business but… I hope you understand, Mr Altin.”

No, Otabek doesn’t understand. “We are the parents that he never had. And, it’s a little hard seeing the boy you’ve helped and witnessed growing, fading away everyday. Viktor and I… We’re more than ready to do everything to get him back. We are at our wits end. He can’t sleep well, he won’t eat…”

“I’m sorry. I hate to interrupt you but I don’t understand how this involves me. Yuri’s well being…” Otabek grimaced, “It doesn’t concern me.” The words felt foreign in his own words and he witnessed the emotions dance through the manager’s eyes. “Whatever game he played is over. If he wanted a quick adventure by fooling me, then that’s done 2 months ago. He got his kick over it, and I’m not willing to play along if he wants another round.” He straightened and made sure to grab his jacket, “Now, if you excuse me—”

“Won’t you even talk to him?” The manager said and the look on his eyes stopped Otabek from leaving. 

How many times has he seen his mother’s eyes begged for understanding? 

“Yuri…” He sighed, “He needs closure. I don’t think he’ll survive much without it. Just… Just meet with him and we’ll be off your hair, I promise.”

Otabek stared at him before scoffing, “There’s no need to break hearts over this, sir.” To be honest, he wasn’t sure whose heart he meant, “Maybe you’re giving me too much credit. I don’t mean that much to Yuri… Or Yurachka or whoever he really is.”

That has always been a thought that had hurt Otabek. When he thought about memories of Yuri and wondered if it was truly just a play for him or if everything was real. It felt real to him. 

“Yuri. His name is Yuri.” Otabek nodded still in distrust, “Would you sell us the bike instead then?”

“Why,” Otabek couldn’t believe it, “Why would you offer that? If you thought I want your money…”

“It’s not even about that, I promise.” Otabek watched him sigh and soldiered on with his emotions despite the tears that were leaking in his eyes. He wondered for a while if Yuri learned strength from this person; maybe he did. “It’s a way for us to thank you. Viktor and I. When he came back from your week together, Yuri was… He’s different.”

Otabek was not surprised. He wasn’t exactly the same after that trip. 

“He’s professional when he needs to be. Yet, he’s broken. More so than before. We knew he learned something. He’s a lot more mature and I know it would sound twisted because Yuri’s breaking but to see him so mature over some things is my small proud moment. I know you taught him something, Mr Altin and I hope that I’d see him showing it to us with a smile one day. And if you’d allow us, we’d like to buy the bike.  Both as a thank you and I know Yuri would see it one day and remember you…”

“I’m sorry, I…” Otabek sighed. It all sounded wrong but he knew that he can’t make himself sound better either. “I can’t.” He whispered, a little ashamed to refuse the plea of a parent who only want the best for his kid. Otabek could not deny him that. But if there’s one thing he has learned over the past few months, it’s about giving value to yourself too. Yuri wasn’t the only one who learned something during their trip. 

Otabek watched him compose himself and finally, with a nod Yuuri slipped an envelope in front of him. “I understand your choice.” He smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“I know I’m bad at words, and Yuri’s the same I guess. Viktor’s the best on it,  but I think you’d sooner punch him in the face than actually negotiate with him, so you’re kinda stuck with me. Yuri will be holding a free unplugged concert. Inside that envelope is a VIP ticket and a backstage pass. Only loyal fans are invited. It will be recorded for the others who won’t be able to attend and the location is secluded. So in case you change your mind, Mr Altin. Please come.” He slipped another envelope, a bigger one and Otabek couldn’t guess for the life of him what was in it.

“Yuri poured all of his bursting feelings and unsaid words on this. So if you want to see a glimpse of his soul before he truly loses it, please. Come.”

 

 

 

 

Otabek stared at the theatre in front of him, completely unsure if he should go with it or not. 

He knew that the show has started, he witnessed the last fan being escorted inside and contemplated for at least twenty times if he should go and hunt someone and slam the property documents to their face and just leave. He wasn’t sure whose face he was really after but he knew he had to return the papers to them.

In all honesty, Otabek didn’t know what to do with the fact that they would go through the entire process of digging into his history and retrieve something that could ruin his emotional balance. 

They bought his family bar, and offered full ownership to him and his sister. They dangled it between his eyes like they knew that it was something he could never refuse. Otabek never felt so pitied and he didn’t know if what hurt more, for people to think so lowly of him that he’d bow down at the nearest offer or the fact that Yuri shared his secrets — the ones he bared when he thought that Yuri was worthy. 

But everyone makes mistakes and Otabek had to make sure that whoever made a joke of this knew that what they did was so, so wrong. He wanted to believe that that was his purpose in climbing his bike and riding towards the secret location of the unplugged concert. The ticket and the documents ready in his jacket pocket. He could have asked a staff to bring the document to one of the managers, for sure they would be around. 

_So is Yuri._ The traitorous voice in his head whispered.

He watched for hours as fan per fan were scanned before being led into the theatre and Otabek kept on moving from his bike towards the theatre only to turn around and lean back to his motorcycle again. He sighed at his cowardice. 

What if he sees Yuri?

What if he loses his nerve? 

What if the world proved to him that the Yuri he knew was actually fake and his feelings are for naught? 

Shit, what if the Yuri he knew was true?

The concert was already 45 minutes in when Otabek finally parked his motorcycle along with his helmet near the backstage door — the backstage pass proved its worth when he showed it at the bouncers that guarded it. 

He straightened his leather jacket before gathering enough courage to enter through a side entrance. He wouldn’t risk entering the backstage door; he wouldn’t know what to do if he’s suddenly faced by the star of the night. _My star,_ he remembered, _my sunflower, my soldier._

The hallway was clear of people. Otabek kinda guessed it will be when he came almost an hour late since the concert began. For sure, the show should be just on its last leg. 

There were some posters along the walls and he was surprised to see that despite how famous and deadly gorgeous Yuri is, none of the posters held his face. 

It was all simple snapshots. A road stretching towards the horizon. Hectares worth of meadows. A set of keys hanging on the car ignition. A blur of car lights bursting through the night. Tequila bottles, shot glasses and a pack of cigarettes. A half eaten American-style breakfast. A kitten sleeping on white sheets. A tell tale truck in a corner and the clear blue sky. 

Otabek’s heart clenched. It was like looking through an album of memories. When did Yuri shot those photos? Why did he publicise them? _Maybe he’s getting desperate,_ he thought. _But why?_

At the end of the small exhibit, Otabek showed his VIP ticket and backstage pass at the guards placed beside what he assumed was finally the concert hall. 

Inside was a sea of stars. 

There were thousands of small firefly lights everywhere and Otabek’s mind pulled him back to that one night he shared everything with Yuri. Weren’t they under an ocean of stars then? 

_What if this was Yuri’s way of sharing everything like how I did with him?_

There weren’t many fans actually, just around 50-70 heads and the place was small enough that Otabek had no problem on looking at Yuri from his post near the main entrance door. And _god, he’s so beautiful._ He thought. 

He has always admired how wild _Yurachka_ was in some of his videos. He only ever dared to watch a few; only when the longing and the pining got too heavy and Otabek had to flinch away from the aching in his chest. But this, _that person is Yuri._ There were no heavy make-up and wild, just-woke-up-hair, no heavy chains and almost avant-garde clothing that always made Otabek wonder if his stylist was ever questioned by an animal-activist group. No, Yuri was all black hoodie underneath a faded jacket, black pants and some OldSkool sneakers. 

It seems like his concert was unplugged in more ways than one. 

His arms tingled and he had to cross them over his chest to calm the pressure of want. 

“The next song is for fuckers like us,” a smirk could be heard on his voice when he finally entered the venue and Otabek wondered if Yuri was usually this vulgar during his concerts. “For those of us who plead for justice when in truth, we were the ones at fault.”

When he heard the first few lines, Otabek realised that it was a confession. A story, an album of lovers Yuri may or may have not have a history with. _[I’m bad at love.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Flp8Ijn4y3w) _ He sang about repetitive mistakes and brutal honesty.  

“Aren’t we all?” Otabek whispered when Yuri reached a chorus and reached out a hand to everyone like he was pointing at all the hypocrites among his audience. _People like us._ Otabek thought, _how appropriate._

Otabek was still spending some time overthinking the song when the band behind Yuri was already transitioning to the next song, “If anyone is bored with me wailing fucking love songs all night,” Yuri breathed and Otabek’s own stopped. “Feel free to leave.” No one got up of course, especially not when he started singing the first few verses of the song. 

It was definitely not Yurachka. _Are these covers? Were these slowed and stripped versions of his previous singles?_ Otabek hasn’t really focused and dived through Yuri’s music because he was too busy surviving the heartbreak the artist personally left him with. 

_[Love don’t break me.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFEIyrdsC4w) _ Yuri pleaded and Otabek’s eyes frowned, who was he pleading to? How can he plead love not to break him when his string of lovers rallied justice over their own broken hearts?

This, this is what exactly Otabek worried about. Him being confused over everything once more, questioning every detail of memory and comparing it to his collection of bibles about _Yurachka._ The  pop star he was introduced with was all pride and ego. Meanwhile, the singer in front of him was so human that Otabek’s musical soul was beginning to relate too much. 

He can just sing about his own mistakes and pleading prayers to cupid like he had been doing it his entire life. _Well he probably did,_ he thought. Remembering once more that Yuri was this giant persona and he probably didn’t have time to really focus on one insignificant person like Otabek.

The next song came through with Yuri not giving out any narration and instead of another prayer, he was back into confessing his own faults. But this time, unlike being a sucker at relationships, this one is caused by being too broken that eventually, he became too calloused to be truthful to someone. 

_[But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPqtlI3aJIE) _ Is this what Katsuki meant? About getting too broken to function properly?

What if he placed himself in Yuri’s shoes? For sure, the fame, the money, all of it would have a bloody exchange. What did he sacrifice in exchange of having everything that a human being can ask for? 

Failed relationships? Were there even enough to guarantee a _relationship?_

Broken trust? How many times?

Was he too cruel when he demanded Yuri to show him his soul? 

Can he demand him of that just because Otabek closed to show his? 

If he was in Yuri’s place who tended to a battered heart all of this time, can he really find it himself to fully trust some stranger because he told him to?

_No,_ Otabek thought, _no, I can’t._

Another tune came in, “The first time I sang this song, I didn’t even knew I was humming it until someone called me out.” There was a chuckle and it was a sad one. Like one would have when recalling a bitter memory. “Like all the songs I’ve been singing tonight, it’s one borne and buried for god knows how long in a journal I’ve been keeping for years…”

When he started singing the first few stanzas, Otabek almost bolted out of the venue. It was the very song that he caught him humming! 

He remembered their conversation that time. Yuri’s pleas, his fears, his inevitable life and prayers of not wanting to go back. Maybe if he had listened further, they could have avoided crashing in the middle. He accused Yuri of using him and not telling him when in truth, Otabek didn’t listen enough.

Yuri did bare his soul to him. He was just too focused on the hurt of the simple lie Yuri had made during their time together to actually see through it. He knew now why Yuri did that. He was protecting his own, he had gigantic walls over his heart because he had every fucking right to do that. 

_[The day you said goodnight.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcnPPah8tMg) _

That night, Yuri asked him for time. _After Moscow._ Was he really going to tell him the truth if Otabek didn’t find about it sooner? But maybe it was an answer to Otabek’s own question. _What do you want to do after Moscow?_

Yes, they all made mistakes. 

When the last note was hit, Otabek’s heart was aching for something anew. It wasn’t self-pity, and for sure, it was no longer anger. He might not be the only one who had felt the emotions over Yuri’s song because he can see more than 10 people crying.

“Have you ever regretted something in your life that you made a song out of it?” Yuri joked when the guitarist turned to a faster beat. “I wished I had the guts to tell my person this, and I know that I probably will never will, so here’s to all of us who wanted to stay.” Yuri stood up and placed his mic on the stand nearby. 

This one didn’t lack in emotions compared to the first few songs Otabek has heard, and yet he almost couldn’t breathe. How many times did they ask each other to stay? And yet, despite their mutual begging, no one stayed. 

_[And if you’d stay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjs77Y1ALoo), _ Yuri sang, _I’ll hold your hand. Coz I’m truly, madly, crazy in love with you._

_Otabek’s heartbeat stopped for a whole second. Was it true?_

His eyes widen. 

Yuri did say he that he never had the guts to tell his person about it, but was he really in love with Otabek? He wasn’t just assuming stuff was he? Everything about this unplugged concert had screamed at Otabek. 

He thought of desperation. It was all overkill,  _but isn’t it always like that, Beka?_ A voice whispered inside him and for some reason, it sounded very much like his late mother. _Won’t you do everything in your power to have your person back?_

Was it even possible for Yuri to have fallen for him and he had missed it because he was blinded of hatred? Was Yuri serenading him? Wait, does Yuri even know he was invited to watch his show?

The next song came in right away without breaks but it was slower than the previous one and Otabek couldn’t honestly find it in himself to stay there like a fucking idiot and contemplate his entire life because he finally realised his sunflower has been his all along. 

_[Look at the stars,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvqsglkZsR4) _ Yuri asked and he gestured at the firefly lights like it was an exhibit of a lovely evening underneath real stars, _look how they shine for you._

Otabek couldn’t think anymore. They were bad at words and couldn’t communicate to save their lives but something about tonight promised him that they will be better. It might not be together, because Yuri is still a fantasy he couldn’t reach, but they’ll deal. 

How can Otabek claim someone like _that?_ Will Yuri even be satisfied with someone like him? He’s just… Otabek.

_Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and all the things that you do._

“I know that that was supposed to be our last song for the night,” Yuri said as the band exited from behind him. “Technically, that will be my last song for… _Gah_ , I don’t know until when. As you’ve heard. This is going to be my last performance for awhile. I need a fucking break.” He explained and Otabek’s eyes couldn’t be moved. 

“I’ve been through a lot these past few months and I think I need to settle down for awhile. Slow down, maybe. I’ll just be somewhere, and don’t worry, it’s not a leather-orgy nor a trip to rehab.” He chuckled and Otabek wondered if this is what Katsuki meant about Yuri being professional. “ _Yellow_ is supposed to be our last song for the night, but I guess you guys deserve to hear another encore, what do you say?”

The crowd cheered of course and almost all of them were crying. But the cheering turned to overexcited screaming when Yuri walked towards a keyboard. Otabek watched the fans scream and cheer and cry and wait for Yuri to settle in front of the instrument and his mic propped up on a stand in front of him. “I… I can’t even remember the last time I played the keys to be honest. So, if you wanna see me fail, now’s definitely the time for it.”

He smiled but even from Otabek’s point, he couldn’t see it reach his eyes at all. 

“The last song for the night is for those of us who knew how to acknowledge our faults.” He introduced while playing around some notes on his keyboard. “Sometimes we do shit and cause hurt towards those who only wanted to care for us. So, I guess. This song is also for those who I did wrong.”

For an encore, it was definitely a sad one and Otabek’s heart ached. This one was a fitting song however. It’s an acknowledgement of one’s misses. An apology because he was too fucked up to fully care for his person.

_[Sorry to my unknown lover,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEnCoocmPQM) _

“Was this supposed to be a message, Yuri?” He whispered and Otabek wanted to shake him because Yuri was telling him that he was giving up. How can he give up when they haven’t started yet?

_Someone will love you, but someone isn’t me._

He was letting go.

“What the fuck, Yuri.” He doesn’t know that Otabek was among the audience, does he? That’s why he was so brave in telling the world that.

“Aren’t we both idiots then.” He whispered when Yuri stood up in a standing ovation. He watched him wave at his fans for awhile before giving them a bow and leaving the stage. 

Leaving the stage for an indefinite time. 

Well, two could play at this type of game. 

If Yuri was letting go, maybe Otabek can too. _But why are we like this?_ he thought. _When are we going to really fight for what we want?_

“Otabek Altin?” He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice a figure closing in towards him. Otabek glared. The man had silver hair and an imposing figure. “Why are you here?”

Otabek couldn’t answer that, not really. At least not until his emotions were running amok inside him and if he was forced to talk, he might just go ahead and punch something. Nothing made sense anymore. 

Yuri was admitting to both their faults, their prayers, their memories and suddenly he was giving it all up. How can Otabek make a decision when Yuri kept on confusing him? How can he fight for them if Yuri didn’t want him to? How can he turn his back when Otabek finally decided to stay?

“Have you made a decision, Mr Altin?” Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov asked. He didn’t clarify on what but Otabek wasn’t stupid. He knew what he was asking about. 

Yuri. The motorcycle. The bar. 

Still, he didn’t answer and instead, he took the papers out of his jacket pocket and handed it to the manager without a word. 

He doesn’t need to be bought when Yuri has owned his heart and soul since the first day.

 

 

 

 

He was able to leave the venue without any ambushes and made it to his bike. If he was ever honest, he had expected a lot of things; managers and bounces stopping him from leaving, or fans suddenly realising he was the cause of Yuri’s heartaches and therefore kills him on the spot. Yet, no one waylaid him. Otabek didn’t know how to react to that. 

Was he actually waiting for someone to stop him because he didn’t want to leave? 

He climbed on his bike and wore his well-tinted helmet. The roar of the bike when it turned on was a comfort. _When can we both agree to stay, Yura?_

It felt good, even if it was just a whisper, to say his name like that again. Like he didn’t lose his right to endear him in ways like that, to call him names that will always be a sign of ownership and possessiveness. 

_If it’s meant to be,_ his mother’s voice whispered again, _it’s meant to be, Beka. Do not hurry fate._

Maybe they’ll meet in another time, in a different day, and will find a smile on each other’s faces again. Maybe by that time they’ll be free from the cracks of their brokenness and find it in themselves to admit that they were just victims of cupid who were always meant to fall in love but could never be.

But, can he even imagine Yuri being in love with someone else? _No._

With that thought in mind, Otabek started his bike and left the backstage alley of the theatre. 

When he came to the main street, he knew he jinxed it. He should have known that the night will not be over until divine intervention will happen to him again because Yuri was being cornered by his fans. 

He doesn’t even look like he needed rescuing though because his eyes darted from one place to another — completely ignoring his fans while his body was on autopilot. Yuri was looking for someone. 

The noises in his head stopped.

It all cleared up.

_Second chances don’t come to anyone,_ Otabek thought as his mind came into a conclusion. He sped up for awhile until he reached the crowd where the possible love of his life was nearing death by fan-mauling. 

He made sure to stop in front of the crowd and for sure, his noisy entrance shocked most of the people there as they have turned to look his way. Even Yuri turned to look. 

_Yuri,_ he shouted in his head, _get on!_

He saw recognition behind those emerald pools that haunted him for months before Yuri fought his way out of his fan circle and didn’t hesitate on climbing up behind him. 

They were off once Yuri was safe behind him. 

 

 

 

 

It started to rain. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we had a change of POV here and I hope I did Otabek some justice. We will back to Yuri's POV on the next chapter and hopefully squeeze something new in. Anyhow, the list of songs go this way:
> 
> Bad At Love by Halsey
> 
> Love Don't Break Me by Billy
> 
> Too Good At Goodbyes by Sam Smith
> 
> The Day You Said Goodnight by Hale
> 
> Stay by Cueshe
> 
> Yellow by Coldplay
> 
> Sorry by Halsey


	13. So then I took my turn,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that the rating has changed and some tags were added. I did not mean for this chapter to turn this direction, but the writing got too smooth and I soldiered through blushing and intense self-embarassment.

_Anywhere._ Yuri thought as he held on as tight as he could.  
Despite the heavy rain, Otabek’s driving was steady and Yuri could feel his heartbeat when he pressed closer to him. The rhythm was strong and loud which somehow comforted Yuri that he wasn’t the only one who was caught off guard with everything.

Otabek can bring him anywhere he want and Yuri won’t mind. He was soaked and possibly shivering because of the cold but having Otabek in his arms even through the excuse of a motorcycle ride was more than enough. 

When Viktor told him that he saw Otabek Altin amongst his audience, Yuri almost slugged him. He swore and yelled and caused chaos in his small dressing room. But his manager didn’t even spare him a glance as he produced an envelope and handed it over to his husband. Yuuri sighed when he saw it and the young singer almost felt his blood run cold, because they couldn’t have done what he forbid them to do. 

They offered. 

They offered even when Yuri told them not to. 

 _Beka._ What would have Otabek’s thoughts when one of his managers walked into his life and brought Yuri’s evil memory with them? Did he thought of Yuri as disgusting for resorting into those options just to get to him? 

His mind was in war but his body was already running before he could decide on it.

He ran like hell. 

He ran through staff and bouncers alike while his eyes panned through the space like a crazy trigger. When he burst out of the theatre, it only took a solid 2-second interval before loitering fans swarmed him like moths to flame. Compliments were thrown, tears were shed, and more than enough begging for him to release a studio version of his songs for the night. They want something to remember him by. 

Still, his eyes tried to look over fanatic faces, his target still not found. 

Yuri tried to get away from his fans despite their well wishes. He only wanted to hear from one person and Yuri would go crazy if he can’t find him. 

But, what if Otabek didn’t understand his message? Maybe his songs weren’t enough, maybe he will never understand because they were never in the same page to start with? Maybe Otabek went to his concert because he was looking for a face to scream at due to the disrespect Yuri brought him. 

Yuri would be on a hiatus. He wouldn’t know what will happen then. He may or may not find the courage to seek Otabek out and if he won’t, what then? 

Will he live to be as Yuri’s biggest regret?

Yet, before those thoughts could fully consume him as his physical body was being drowned in fanatic adoration, a motorcycle zoomed in front of his crowd. The fans stopped drowning him and his thoughts were put on a halt as Yuri sponged the sight in front of him. 

The rider’s face was tucked in a tinted-black helmet and still Yuri was pulled in. He could be a stranger, a killer, _or a psychopath who’s going skin him alive and wear his face as their next mask_ but Yuri didn’t hesitate. He fought through the tight circle of his world and ran towards the rider and held on tight when he was secured enough on the back. _It should be him, right?_ His thoughts fought through. _It has to be!_

Somewhere along the way, it started pouring and Yuri could only hide his face on Otabek’s shoulder. The rain was heavy enough to soak him in minutes but Yuri only hid his face because he doesn’t know what Otabek thought of him. The very scandal of Yuri riding with a handsome rider during a very public night can cause ruin to anyone. He wanted to at least save Otabek’s reputation if he could. 

Yuri knew that he wasn’t a pot of gold, and not every PR is appreciated. 

His panic was delayed. The possibility that the man _might not be_ Otabek came through when the rider pulled a left and entered a parking space. He was already drenched through his denim jacket and inner hoodie and his mind was in panic of being wrong and actually hopping to nowhere with what could be a stalker. Yet, Yuri’s arms never lost their hold around the rider’s waist.

The outside noise of the city and the patter of rain turned into a quiet hum as they went further the parking space, just when Yuri’s thoughts of possibilities roared. He wanted to stay away from the stranger, just in case they were not Otabek, but his hands were steel bands and Yuri can’t let go if he wanted. He was trembling and if it was because of the cold or something _other,_ Yuri won’t know.

The bike stopped in a halt and Yuri can’t bring himself to look at the stranger. 

His panic was calmed when the stranger finally, _finally_ took off his helmet and it was Yuri’s ungrateful heart’s turn to beat in wild panic. He would know that undercut anywhere. 

 _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,_ he thought as he held on tighter than he knew he could. _His fucking pissed,_ Yuri and Otabek separated ways with Otabek being angry and Yuri knew it in himself that he wouldn’t survive it if his hatred towards the blonde only intensified because of what his managers did. _But he won’t save you from your fans and bring you to gods-know-where if he was still angry, right?_

It was all too confusing. _To hell with it!_ Yuri kept his arms locked and for some merciful reason, Otabek let him do so even if there was no more reason for them to be locked like that. Yuri was only allowed to lock him in for a few minutes though because not long after, Otabek tapped his hand. It was a silent signal to let go.

Yuri shook his head, _no!_ He defied, _not yet!_

He wasn’t ready for a lot of things; Otabek’s unreadable reaction, the possible confrontation, and maybe just the full thought of having him out of his arms again scared Yuri shitless. 

“Yuri,” Otabek voiced, and _oh god,_ “you’re shivering.”

Still, Yuri didn’t let go. He knew he was scared. He barely survived the pain of Otabek turning his back on him, and in a sense, Yuri was still surviving. He wasn’t sure he will survive another run-through with that should Otabek decide he isn’t worth staying for. “You’re cold and shivering.” 

“I don’t care.” He mumbled through wet leather because he has yet to remove himself from Otabek’s shoulder. 

“Let’s get you somewhere warm, okay?” Otabek bargained after sighing and Yuri wanted to scream. Was he being a brat again? 

_But Otabek would leave—_

“Let’s get you somewhere warm and maybe some tea…” Otabek cut his thoughts again, “Then, if you’re okay with it, we can talk.” He bargained and successfully coerced Yuri into releasing him. 

 _Beka won’t leave._ His mind reasoned as he slowly relaxed the steel bond he had over Otabek. When he was off the bike though, he finally realised how cold he was. 

When Otabek got off the bike, Yuri didn’t know what to do with himself. He was still so handsome and his eyes were still kind, yet Otabek was obviously shielding his thoughts from Yuri because he couldn’t read anything but neutrality and that frustrates Yuri. He almost bolted with the uncertainty. 

Otabek felt so near yet so far and Yuri almost changed his mind and just leave everything be. But Otabek grabbed his wrist before his legs could even flinch, “Let’s go.” He said before leading Yuri towards and in an elevator. They didn’t speak and Yuri’s wrist was already burning where Otabek had it locked in his hand. He feels so much for Otabek that it threatens to drown him if he wasn’t so careful, and the thought of being so into a person should scare him, but it didn’t. In fact, Yuri would welcome drowning in Otabek’s warmth if he was even granted that option. 

The ride didn’t last long and eventually stopped in a floor number Yuri failed to see.

He was led through a maze of corridors until finally, Otabek stopped in front of a door and immediately opened it. 

Yuri wasn’t even halfway through the entrance when he was slammed into a wall and the door shut close. Lips were on his and Yuri knew he should panic. He knew from experience that sudden kisses like that were close to harassment but his body and his mind and his fucking heart knew it was Beka, so he kissed back. 

He returned as much as Otabek gave. It was their first kiss and Yuri dreamed that it should be kinder, and slower, and overwhelming. But this? It was still overwhelming and angry and frustrated and just… _Fucking overwhelming._

It was only a lock but Otabek’s framing his face with an intensity Yuri has never felt before. 

Yet, before he could even do anything else, Otabek jumped away from him like he has been burning his skin. And that wasn’t too far from the truth after all, Yuri was no longer cold. His lips were scorching and he wondered if they were as red as his cheeks because for sure, Yuri was combusting. 

“Why, Be—”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered and Yuri’s heart throbbed in pain. “I’m… I’m sorry, Yuri. I—I didn’t mean to.” Yuri could only look down and swallowed the urge to just cry right then and there.

Yuri wanted to scream and demand a reason why. His heart was breaking after all, his mind a mess of conflicting ideas because the kiss was all that Yuri have dreamed of for _fucking months_ yet the memory of Otabek breaking his heart was fighting for dominance too. He felt his own arms caging himself and it was cold again. 

Otabek might have noticed because his own panic has stopped and “Right, shower.” He gestured at a room and Yuri was torn between kissing him once more and face whatever fucking tension there was between them and running away with the excuse of a shower. “I… I promise we’ll talk, and I’m sorry if I kissed you without your consent.”

Yuri didn’t answer that, because if he did, Otabek would get a punch to the throat. He was so wrong with that assumption. So he would deserve that punch, and Yuri will compensate with a kiss.

Otabek showed him a bedroom with an en suite. “I’d bring out clothes for you to change to.” He whispered after he pointed Yuri to the door that would lead him to the bathroom. “You can leave your clothes on the sink. I’ll dry them later.”

Yuri looked at Otabek again and the dim lights of the lamps were making it hard for him not to stare. 

His uncertainties were decreasing every kind word that Otabek has uttered. He had always been a fool for his words and maybe because every action that Otabek has made since they met contradicted the hate and the anguish that Yuri’s mind has produced. _Maybe I still have a chance,_ he thought. 

Otabek wasn’t as far as he imagined. 

So he dared. 

He pulled Otabek to him and locked his mouth on his. 

This time, the world exploded. 

 

 

 

 

Yuri didn’t know how long they were standing there in front of the en suite door, all he knew was that Otabek was not pulling away and he allowed Yuri to lock him with a grip on his nape and jaw. 

When Otabek stepped forward and crowded him, Yuri allowed it until his back was steady on the wall again and Otabek had his hands gripping Yuri’s waist. It was all passion and Yuri was ready to drown. Yet, when the man of his dreams finally swiped a shy tongue on his bottom lip, he wasn’t ready. 

So he gasped. And Otabek took it as an immediate opportunity to raid his mouth. The first slide of their tongues brought a whimper to Yuri that Otabek was quick to silence. They kept kissing and Yuri felt like it kept on getting deeper until one of them had to pull away to breathe. Pleasure was numbing his body, and all Yuri could do was lean on Otabek’s shoulder while his neck was ravished. There were spots that burned and Yuri knew that he’ll be marked, somehow, he didn’t mind. And he will never mind as long as it was Otabek.

It should have been fucked up, to excuse everything because of a person. But 2 months ago, Otabek stopped being _just_ a person for Yuri and he was not ashamed to admit it. _Maybe this is how it feels like; to surrender everything to another…_

“We…” Otabek breathed, “We really should stop.” He offered and Yuri could have laughed if it wasn’t for the burning white heat in his stomach. Otabek wasn’t stopping. He was nibbling and licking and soon, he was back to Yuri’s mouth.

When he bit the taller man’s lower lip, it felt like an awakening. Like a sudden energy that brought him power that stopped him from being numb to the pleasure and the agonising static between them because Yuri found it in himself that he didn’t like clothes. So he started pulling, _they were wet anyway._

Yuri pushed Otabek’s leather jacket from his shoulders and somewhere in his mind marvelled at how his arms felt under Yuri’s palms. Otabek seemed to follow through and despite his words of having to talk, he was not slow with taking Yuri’s jacket off too. “Beka…” Yuri moaned when he pulled too roughly at the hoodie. He didn’t stop with the denim jacket after all and Yuri pulled at his inner shirt too. They had to let each other go each time a piece of clothing was pulled off, but that didn’t stop the ability of their lips to magnetise each other. 

When they were both topless, Yuri allowed his hands to memorise every plain and dip of Otabek’s torso. He had always found him a magnificent man, and he was more so when he was almost naked. He also knew that they should probably talk before doing anything else, but when Otabek took a hold of his thighs and pulled them up, his legs automatically locked around the other’s waist while his arms went around Otabek’s shoulders, and nothing mattered anymore except more kisses and mutual release. 

He was pushed up the wall and all Yuri could do was remember that he should breathe because if not, he’ll surely faint. Otabek’s mouth was doing wonders to his body and Yuri never thought of his chest being so sensitive. 

“Beka,” Yuri breathed again and his hands were cradling Otabek’s jaw again. Their lips were spaces apart and they breathed into each other. He dipped and offered his… Whatever Otabek was at this point, a peck. The other man followed when he pulled away, “More, Beka. I need more.”

He was taken from the wall before he could finish his sentence. Otabek was walking and Yuri trusted him not to let him fall while he made his own markings on Otabek’s tan skin. Yuri was placed into what he assumed was the bed and he was forced to let go of Otabek’s neck because the man was demanding for mouth kisses instead. So they did. And it felt good.

This kind of euphoria used to be familiar to Yuri. It was usually associated with blind kisses in hotel rooms or dark clubs with faceless strangers while party drugs numb his head. But last time Yuri checked, he was clean and Otabek was no stranger to him. He is the man that Yuri wanted and craved for and if his biology was giving him the proof he already knew about, then fuck it. 

The kiss slowed down and Yuri was left breathless yet again while Otabek leaned their foreheads as he attempted to bring his raging heartbeat to a calmer pace. Of course Yuri knew, he could feel his heartbeat drumming the same rhythm as Yuri’s own. Otabek had his eyes closed and Yuri blushed at the sight of this man so out of control and so… Human. Gone was the mask of neutrality because Yuri could recognise the same emotions on Otabek’s face the same way Yuri’s own stormed inside him. 

After a few more heartbeats, Otabek pulled away and Yuri was too late to stop him. He didn’t even get the chance to panic because Otabek only sat up, right between Yuri’s spread thighs and he was looking at Yuri in a daze. 

He watched him put his trembling hands on Yuri’s knees and slowly, _slowly_ dragged them up and back Yuri’s thighs. If he groaned at the sensation, Yuri knew he did it loudly. “Yura…” 

 _That was a first,_ Yuri thought as he fought being overwhelmed by his love for this man, _he said my name again._

“So beautiful, Yura.” He whispered as Yuri felt a kiss on his hip. He had to force his eyes open, and when did he even close them? Otabek made sure that he was watching when he dipped a kiss on his hip again before sitting up. Then, his hands came to a rest. “Can I?” 

Yuri knew he was hard, he was since the time Otabek raided his mouth with his tricky tongue. And now Otabek was acknowledging the fact with a stroke on Yuri’s dick. It was slow and torturous and it was only Otabek’s thumb and Yuri could only nod his consent, “Please, Beka.” He begged and sighed after the button and zip of his jeans were undone, yet Otabek didn’t stop there. The drenched clothing was pulled off him in seconds and was followed closely by his underwear. 

Yuri has been naked in front of partners before but he has never felt shy. He always knew that he was beautiful and his partners ought to know that. Yet, underneath Otabek’s heated gaze, Yuri felt like a blushing virgin. 

“You’re already dripping, Yura.” Otabek voiced and if Yuri was sober enough from his personal drug, he could have lashed out, because they both knew that Otabek was teasing. He thumbed the underside of Yuri’s cock and the blonde could only shiver and bite his lip to stop his whimpers from being voiced out, “Is this all for me?” He closed a fist around Yuri and started stroking him the same way he dragged his free hand on the blonde’s thigh.

“Beka,” he choked and his hands fisted the sheets, _don’t tease._ He wanted to demand for Otabek to hurry because Yuri wasn’t used to being patient in bed, “Beka, more. More, please…” 

“I got you,” Otabek whispered and suddenly, there was warm air over Yuri’s thighs again. He knew that he shouldn’t look, if he really wanted to last Otabek’s torture, he really should not look. But he was a weak man and he wanted to immortalise the view in case Otabek meant it as a one time thing. That thought hurt but Yuri was being overwhelmed by pleasure still and this time, he didn’t stop a moan because Otabek was looking straight at him while he painted bruises on Yuri’s thighs while his hand stroked Yuri’s cock as slow as he made his marks. 

“Beka…” He gasped again because Otabek was leaving marks on his thighs and was creating a trail that was slowly aiming for Yuri’s dick. One of his hands unclenched from the sheets and grabbed a handful of his torturer’s raven locks, he was rewarded with a groan and a smirk on his groin. Yuri was hoping that Otabek would finally put his mouth on him, but no. The wretched man skipped his erection and went to continue doing his marks on Yuri’s lower abdomen instead. “Fuck, Beka! Come on!” He voiced and pulled roughly on Otabek’s hair again. 

The other only chuckled and kissed Yuri’s thigh again before sitting up and went for his own pants. The view only made Yuri come out of his own daze. Otabek was staring at him and for fuck’s sake he really was the sexiest man Yuri has ever laid eyes on and god help him, he knew he has seen a lot of people. Yet, no one has ever compared to the Kazakhstani in front of him. Otabek shyly pulled down his pants along with whatever underpants he had because, _what the fuck._

Yuri was blessed. 

“Fuck,” Yuri couldn’t believe the nerve of Otabek to appear shy in front of him, “Come here. Beka,” he begged and that seemed to appease whatever insecurity Otabek had because he was quick to coming back in Yuri’s arms. 

The blonde found it adorable how Otabek went from sex god to a shy pre-pubescent kid when Yuri zeroed at his cock. So the guy was hung, so what? Yuri might have saved a country in his previous life to be blessed this way. Or at least 3 countries and a cat to deserve _that_. 

“Yura,” Otabek whispered before kissing him breathless again and all thoughts of saving a country or 3 were off his mind immediately. “Want you so much,” Yuri’s heart was threatening to explode and somewhere in his mind knew that they were doing this all in reverse, but he won’t stop anytime soon. He finally has Otabek- _fucking-_ Altin with him and fuck him if he can’t have this. At least. 

They spent an eternity kissing because the weight of Otabek on top of Yuri and the slide of his lips on his were heaven for the young singer. Then, without warning, he felt the burning heat of Otabek’s erection on his own stomach and Yuri moaned at the feel of it. Although it was nothing when Otabek started _moving_.

Each move felt so sensual and always threatened to push Yuri over the edge. His thrusting was like his kisses, slow and definitely torturous enough that Yuri was torn between humping faster and forcing himself to delay the inevitable. “Beka…” He wanted to say something, “Fuck!” then Otabek had to ruin it with another delicious thrust that ended with their dicks sliding against each other. And the friction was fucking heavenly. 

“I know, _zhanym._ ” Otabek whispered against Yuri’s lips. “Let me take care of you, Yura…” Yuri could only nod and then forced Otabek out from his lazy butterfly kisses to have their mouths meet again.

Just when he thought that Otabek was satisfied with just kissing and delaying Yuri from his awaited orgasm, a large hand enclosed the two of them and Yuri couldn’t fight off the groan that tore off his throat like a scream. It was too late to bite his lip to conceal it and he was glad he didn’t stop it because Otabek awarded them both with a tighter fit. It felt like he wasn’t the only one close to the edge because Otabek moved from their close embrace to hover over Yuri. He wasn’t near enough for a sudden kiss, but he wasn’t far enough for Yuri to not enjoy staring at the dark pools Otabek’s eyes had. His hand only moved faster and harder and tighter and definitely didn’t give room for Yuri to protest about being teased.

“Beka,” his orgasm caught him in surprise as much as the unexpected bite Otabek did to his collarbone. He knew Otabek was whispering his name, that was the only thing he was capable of saying since he started to jerk them both off after all and Yuri was barely aware of his own arms encircling the broad frame of Otabek’s shoulders as they both rode out their pleasure. All that he could think of was that he was pleasured and he didn’t want to move yet because even cuddling and glued by their release got Yuri all satisfied. That’s all. Him, Otabek, and this enclosed apartment room — that’s all that mattered. 

He didn’t let him go even when Otabek laid boneless on top of him. He carded his fingers on those dark locks in a lazy pattern and from time to time, he would lay a gentle kiss on top of Otabek’s head like he was so precious. And that wasn’t exactly wrong. He _is_ precious to Yuri. 

The older man just let himself be held as he ghosted warm breath over Yuri’s skin. 

It was a nice afterglow. 

 

 

 

 

Yuri’s heart stopped when Otabek started pulling away and left the bed without a word. 

Panic was chasing off all the pleasure that was with Yuri just a few heartbeats ago. His anxiety crippling him with assumptions and questions all the while burying the idea of Otabek just needing some space to clear his head. 

Yuri wasn’t thinking clearly. He knew that. Maybe they were both a little crazy. Otabek kissed first and in a different time that could have mattered, _but he pulled away._ His traitorous mind whispered, _he pulled away and you pulled him back._ They should have talked first and maybe they could have avoided tasting the bitterness of regret after. 

 _But I don’t regret it,_ Yuri thought back. He knew he doesn’t regret what they did. And he will never do. But god it hurt. 

The thought that Otabek regret ever doing it with him and maybe that regret will solidify whatever rejection Otabek had in store for him. 

Technically, what they did wasn’t even sex. No ass was harmed nor pleasured in what they did. It was even innocent compared to what Yuri has done before, and it shouldn’t matter. Because it wasn’t sex. 

Yet it meant more to him than anything in this world. 

They were almost lovers. _The ‘almost’ makes it worse._

When Otabek padded back to the room, Yuri had to curl around himself, to hide his shame and from whatever feedback he had to Yuri’s ‘ill’ enticement. Maybe he thought of Yuri as a slut, a man with no strings and at the moment, Yuri felt no higher than that. 

Yet the bed dipped and boneless as he was from the stress of his day and the fading pleasure of his release, he couldn’t fight off the other man as he was gently turned to rest on his back and out of the shell he curled himself into. Then a wet towel wiped away the mess on his stomach, and Yuri cringed at the sudden cold. “Sorry,” Otabek whispered, “Almost done.” 

Yuri opened his eyes and forgot again when exactly he closed them. Otabek was hovering over him again and was dutifully cleaning the drying cum off Yuri’s skin. The blonde could only stare at him. 

Only when Otabek ran out of skin to clean did he place the towel on the bedside table. He did it so slowly like he was delaying what was to come. In a twisted way, Yuri revelled at the fact that again, he wasn’t the only one on the uncertainty territory. 

He had to look away. 

He had to look away because Otabek was just sitting there beside him, in his naked glory and hansom self. Yuri couldn’t deal with the fact that Otabek was just there and fresh from their shared pleasure and he wanted to touch but so unsure if he was even allowed or not. Their awkward silence was louder than before and Yuri was reminded on why he resorted to drugs. The real world was sometimes too much to bear and he didn’t have enough mental and emotional strength to hold himself steady. 

“The song that you sang tonight,” Otabek started and Yuri fought the urge to face him, “I remember you singing that during the trip.” Yes, Yuri did. All of his songs tonight were from a forgotten journal. All of his personal thoughts and twisted prayers and pleads, twisted to match instruments and notes. And the world may think that the concert tonight was the first and last for them to hear about Yuri’s personal songs, but they were wrong. Otabek will always be his first audience. 

“Somehow,” he whispered, “I can’t seem to find those songs online.”

“You searched for me?” Yuri wasn’t able to stop himself from asking. Did Otabek really search for _Yurachka_ all this time?

Otabek only shrugged, but there was a shy smile on his lips. Yuri tried hard not to concentrate at how raw and red they looked. _I did that._

“I… I wanted to know your world.” He admitted, “I wanted to know if the person who was with me, 2 months ago, on a road trip towards Moscow was real or not. And god,” He sighed and Yuri wished it wasn’t disappointment on his voice. His famous alter ego never had a clean slate, and he used to be so proud of that. “I think I looked at the wrong sources. Gossip columns, paparazzi shots, never ending parties, a list of exes—”

“Beka,” Yuri reached out after he shot up into a sitting position.

“No,” Otabek said, “Let me finish.” But Yuri wanted to defend himself. It was his last chance to even have a shot with the only person who makes him feel so alive, yet he learned and knew, respect. So, he shut his mouth. “That night, when I knew about who you really are, I got so mad. So angry that I wasn’t even worth your truth. I thought that you were as deceiving as what they say. But what I heard and read and saw were different things, and to be honest with you, it’s still so hard to figure out what to believe.”

Yuri leaned at the headboard, unsure how to proceed. He can’t blame Otabek. Yuri and _Yurachka_ are two different people and even on his own, he had a hard time figuring out who he really was sometimes. 

“Let’s play, true or false. You game?” Otabek offered and his eyes were so open that Yuri struggled from reaching out and making sure if he was real or not.

“No tequila?” Yuri asked, half wanting to get an excuse of a quick time alone and the other half, teasing.

Otabek chuckled, “No, I think we both need a clear head on this. And please, let’s be truthful with each other.” Yuri agreed. Otabek nodded and breathed in some courage before starting, “True or false, I was a game to you.”

Yuri frowned, can they start with something easy? How can Otabek start with something harsh just off the bat? “N—” then he was pulled back to that moment in the diner, he saw Otabek and found him gorgeous. He wanted him and he wanted to play a game with his managers to save himself from the boredom of the tour. So, “True.”

Yuri figured out that seeing Otabek’s heart break in from of him was the worst thing that he has ever witnessed. “At the start, yes. You were a game to me.” He was quick to follow up because god damn it, he can’t watch Otabek suffer because of him. Again. “I saw you across that station and _fuck, fuck me._ You were hot.” He admitted, but Otabek didn’t have enough ego to bloom from the compliment.

“My managers were being stupid and I was bored to death. Everything got impulsive, and you know the rest. I only meant to stay for an hour or even a night, just enough to get a lay out of it, but everything changed. You’ve shown me genuine kindness and that was rare for me. I know I don’t have the best personality, you even called me _princess_ because of it,” Yuri chuckled, “I got curios and before I knew it, everything got too deep and personal.”

Otabek was silent for awhile, as if recalling the memory on his own point of view. It took Yuri some time to figure out that it was his turn to ask, “True or false, you wanted to get rid of me that first day.”

“False.” No hesitation, “I…” he followed, “I wanted to go back to Almaty that day.” Yuri looked at him, if he wasn’t mistaken, Otabek made the trip because he wanted to have the long way to see his mother and face his reality. “I couldn’t bear the thought of pulling the plug. Things got to my head and I wanted a longer time to figure my shit. Then you came along. You were a distraction, an escape. Then along the way, things started aligning themselves, you know? So, no. I never wanted to get rid of you.”

What does that even mean?

“True or false,” Otabek asked, “You never meant for me to know the truth.”

“False,” Yuri almost cried. “I promised you after Moscow, remember?” Otabek nodded and yet his mouth was in a firm frown. No one really liked what happened after Moscow. “I was scared. I was scared you’d treat me differently once you knew who I was. I was scared when you told me about your mother and her unfortunate love interests. I was scared that you’d stay away from me because I had the same fate as the men who took your mother away from you. I was scared because…” Yuri sighed, “I was scared because I keep on delaying it. And maybe that’s one of the biggest regrets of my life. I was scared because my reality, my truth, Beka, was everything you hated. And I didn’t want to lose you, and maybe that’s no excuse, but you were, a breath of life to me.” He frowned, like he wasn’t really sure what he was talking about. 

“Being _Yurachka_ is no longer thrilling to me and you gave me the chance to just, _live._ And, because of that, at first I didn’t tell you because I wanted to know how far we can go without you knowing about it. It was a game, I won’t deny it. Then it got so long and you knew _me._ You fucking knew me and I got scared that you’d leave me because what you know and what you see are two different things.” Yuri recalled what Otabek said, _but what I heard and read and saw were different things._

Otabek could only nod.

Yuri has been craving this. A sort of closure and a chance to clear his name to the only person whose comments mattered outside of his immediate circle. And Yuri was starting to realise that despite their different perspectives, despite the hurt they caused each other, they were starting to meet half-way. 

“True or false, now that you know who and what I am, do you still want to stay?”

“I don’t think I ever wanted to leave, Yura.” He smiled, “And that scared me too, because I know that I should have stopped after Moscow. My pride and heart were broken.” Yuri wanted to cry but he forced the tears away, “I could have torn all the documents your manager gave me and stay clear from where you are, but look where we are now? I couldn’t run away from you if I could. So, yeah. If you’ll have me, I’ll stay.”

Yuri reached out and Otabek met him in the middle, their tears creating paths in each other’s skin and it should have been a silly sight. Both of them naked as the day they were born and crying like kids, but _fuck_ it’s worth it. 

Otabek forced him out of their embrace and cradled Yuri’s face until their foreheads met, “Last statement, Yura. True or false, we live it two different worlds, let’s not deny that. Still, will you stay this time?” 

Yuri didn’t even answer him, he allowed his lips do the rest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I did the smut part right. I know I did. My gay friend confirmed it, lol. And yeah, if you saw the chapter number update too, next chapter will be the epilogue.


	14. Epilogue

Eventually, after a few more shared kisses, apologies and a mutual promise, Yuri allowed Otabek to drag him under a hot shower. The guy painstakingly dried Yuri’s blond tresses and handed him an oversized hoodie and one of the shorts he left behind.  “You kept them?” Yuri asked as he was handed the animal printed booty shorts. The blush that bloomed on his boyfriend (yes, _boyfriend,_ fuck you world) cheeks were admission enough.

When they landed on the bed, more kisses followed while Yuri’s hand ghosted over Otabek’s naked torso. Whispers of adoration and love were shared until Otabek rested his head on Yuri’s chest and gathered the younger man in his arms. Yuri’s own were around his shoulders and he never stopped showering kisses on the lush raven locks. 

Yuri always had a feeling that Otabek was a cuddler. 

He was only proven right when a few hours later, when the room glowed in cozy grey as the rain continued to drop, Yuri still served as Otabek’s teddy bear. His arm and shoulder were asleep and he did his best to not breathe too deeply in case Otabek would feel it and wake up, but fucking damn it, Yuri was fucking happy. 

His heart was open for the whole world to see and it should make him feel vulnerable. But it was a good feeling, _let the world see._

Speaking of the world, Yuri stretched his other arm and reached for the bedside table where he knew Otabek placed his phone on. Otabek was worried that he drove them through the rain and would have ruin Yuri’s phone. _It’s not like I can’t buy another one, Beka._ He replied and was immediately answered by a reprimanding eyebrow.

When he pressed on the home button, his eyes squinted right away by the sudden light. Yuri wasn’t sure if he ever lowered down the screen light as fast as he ever did, yet Otabek didn’t even flinch. 

There was only one person who spammed him with messages:

 

 

> **_Old Man_ **
> 
> _Yesterday 11:58 PM_

**_just call or text_ **

 

 

> _Today 2:37 AM_

**_wer in the hotel a block away in case_ **

 

Yuri only rolled his eyes, _they’re too fucking worried._  

 

 

> _Today 3:13 AM_

  ** _or u can just call, the van is on stand by_**

**_u know_ **

**_in case u need an out_ **

**_or we need to haul a body to bury somewhere_ **

 

Then suddenly, the text pattern changed and Yuri knew that Katsuki managed to tame his restless husband. 

 

 

> _Today 3:49 AM_  

**_Yura, take your time. I’ll handle Vitya._ **

**_You know how he is. I’ll turn off his phone or else he won’t stop spamming you._ **

**_Call my cell if you need anything._ **

**_Take your time._ **

 

His heart was warm. They were a headache 24 hours a day but they meant well. And besides, they were the closest to parents for him. It should have irritated him, knowing that they somehow tweaked the situation and forced the confrontation between Otabek and Yuri, but now, Yuri’s arms were still numb from balancing his phone and the heavy weight of his love and Yuri could only feel gratitude and love towards his managers who always treated him like their own. 

He didn’t reply, instead, he opened the camera and switched immediately to the front cam.  He was barely visible, but even with the low light, he could identify where his hoodie and neck ended and Otabek’s dark locks began. 

He only took a snap. 

Yuri knew he shouldn’t but he still opened Instagram. He won’t be posting the picture, not until Otabek voiced his say about it, but he only wanted to see how his fans reacted to the shit storm that happened the day before. Not counting his sudden unplugged concert, Yuri knew that his escape with Otabek did not go unnoticed by the public. 

 _Holy shit,_ Yuri mouthed. The number of his DMs and his mentions were record breaking. He didn’t open anything specific, but he went for his regular hashtag, _#yurachka._

There were the usual set of pictures and videos of him on stage, all taken in a mixture of blurry fan-cams and some in an almost professional shot. But what Yuri was looking for were taken using shaky hands and smartphone flashes. Him, behind Otabek on his mechanical stead. 

He opened a random post. It had 987 comments and 2K likes in less than 5 hours.   

 

 

> _[Photo series of Yuri climbing unto Otabek’s bike and them speeding away]_
> 
> _2,234 likes_
> 
> **_Angelangelangel_ ** _OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG #Yurachka #ISwearITouchedHimForLike7Seconds #WhoWasThatRiderThough #YurachkaUnplugged_
> 
> _View all 987 comments_
> 
> **_s0fabangel26_ ** _@Angelangelangel OMG, what if it was the same dude in his post a few_
> 
> _weeks ago? #boyfriendmaybe #Yurachka #WhoWasThatRiderThough #YurachkaUnplugged_
> 
> **_Yurachka_1996_ ** _I knew that something like this would happen! Bummed I wasn’t able to go tonight, #FML, but wtf though. What if it was really the guy in his post? The one with the #IMY #Yurachka #YurachkaUnplugged #WhoWasThatRiderThough_

 

Yuri could only shake his head. No one will be able to pin point everything to Otabek. He did say that the bike was still untraceable because of its auction status so Yuri was saved from putting his PR and IT people to work. 

He opened another photo.

 

 

> _[Photo of Otabek stopping in front of the crowd]_
> 
> _3,009 likes_
> 
> **_iamapotato_ ** _damn dont know him, i didn’t see his face, and i know that i should hate him for stealing Yurachka tonight but damn boy, id ride that too #ufeelmefam #hottiealert #Yurachka #YurachkaUnplugged #WhoWasThatRiderThough #idtapthattoo_
> 
> _View all 2,672 comments_
> 
> **_dark.rider23_ ** _SAME_
> 
> **_coffeebean_wood_ ** _FUCKING SAME! #WhoWasThatRiderThough #ifeelyou #idtapthattoo_

 

Yuri only rolled his eyes at that. Of course his boyfriend is hot. “What more if I posted his fucking face?” He whispered and considered that idea for only less than a second. 

Just when he was about to open another post, this time a picture of Yuri’s reaction when the biker arrived, his stomach started protesting. Yuri could only curse. He was starving, which was not a surprise if he survived a concert with nothing but water and a bagel when the show was over. 

He put down his phone and willed his body to get over its current need, he’d done that before. Instead, he gathered Otabek in his arms again and placed another kiss on his head. The guy still didn’t stir and Yuri was again amazed at how much of a non-morning person his boyfriend was. 

It only took him a minute and he was already grumbling at how hungry he was. 

30 seconds after, he was reaching for his phone again and opened his thread with Katsudon. 

 

 

> **_Katsudon_**

 

> _I’m hungry_
> 
> _Get me food_
> 
> _Please_

 

Yuri was actually surprised to find the ellipses right away. 

 

 

> **_Katsudon_**
> 
>  

> _I’m hungry_
> 
> _Get me food_
> 
> _Please_

**_What do you want?_ **

**_Vitya’s asleep, finally._ **

 

 

> _Anything_
> 
> _Good, with his age, he needs rest_

 

**_OMY to get you pancakes_ **

**_I’ll get some for Otabek too_ **

**_Give me 15_ **

 

Yuri placed his phone on the table again and looked at the baby on his chest. All the arm and hand jostling and Otabek barely moved from his chest. As much as he wanted to just stay there and revelled on the warm feeling of having his first morning together with his boyfriend, Yuri’s stomach had different plans. So, as slowly as he could, he retreated his arm underneath Otabek and gently placed him on a fluffy pillow. It was obviously not as firm nor as comfy as Yuri’s chest because Otabek only grumbled when he was just 5 seconds on his pillow.  

The leg that Otabek trapped underneath his own was easy enough to remove. Yuri only had to slide his leg away but the arm around his waist was a little tricky. Otabek gathered him closer after all the jostling. Yuri blushed at the thought that Otabek was subconsciously refusing to let him go; it was a silly thought but it didn’t fail to warm him all over again.

Soon enough, Otabek was hugging a Yuri-slim pillow and the blonde himself was left to stare at the  sleepy figure of his boyfriend. 

He smiled before he left the bedroom. 

It was a little after 11 in the morning, and Yuri finally noticed the stacks of boxes that decorated the small space. He knew that he should have been bothered about it, to be uncertain where Otabek wanted to stay. But he truly wasn’t. His mind was made up and if Otabek would have him, he’d go with him anywhere. 

It was no puzzle to find the kitchen. It wasn’t as packed compared to the living room, and Yuri helped himself with the bottled water he found inside the fridge. It all felt domestic to be in a barely furnished kitchen while the love of his life continued chasing his dreams in the bedroom. Actually, he can imagine exactly waking up to that kind of bliss. 

Say, the two of them just moved into their own little nest. There will be boxes upon boxes of trinkets. Otabek would only have a few boxes; all full of essentials and maybe gifts Yuri had given him during the time they’re together because that’s what Yuri planned to do. Spoil Otabek Altin just because he can. Then, Yuri’s number of boxes would dwarf Otabek’s own. He can imagine himself being distracted of one thing or another until he realises that his boyfriend had unpacked most of his shit while Yuri was lost recalling the memory of how he got whatever it was that caught his attention.

Yuri can learn to cook, because there was no doubt that with how his boyfriend reacts to mornings, he will be assigned with breakfasts by default. He’d slam whatever alarm they would have and he would grumble his way towards their small kitchen with Potya in tow. He’d make tea first before taking his ingredients out of the pantry. _I mean,_ he grumbled, _how hard can bacon and eggs be?_

He only shook his head to gently shoo his fantasies away before finishing his water and placed the bottle on the counter, unsure where the trashcan is. 

He’d make sure that the trash can would be on the drawer right under the sink. Then perhaps a huge fridge to be placed beside a pantry full of all the goodies Yuri’s dietician would shriek to know about. There will be an island, like the one he was staring at now. He’d fill it with cookie jars and some kitten snacks and will make sure to buy different containers for them. There would be an oven and Yuri would finally learn his grandfather’s secret recipe for piroshki. 

Potya would be rubbing her winter coat all over his legs and would beg for some scraps while Yuri prepared two servings of tea. Then maybe, the smell of food would rouse his morning-hating boyfriend from his slumber and they would go on their merry way. 

Yes, Yuri can live with that.

His phone lit up to alert him of a text. His stomach made him open his gadget right away.

 

 

> **_Katsudon_ **

  ** _Open the door, please?_**

 

He opened the main door to Katsudon who had an armful of paper bags.Yuri frowned but didn’t hesitate in taking the bag his manager handed him. “I told you to bring me breakfast, not a fucking feast.”

“Details, details.” Yuuri muttered, “Can I come in?”

Yuri only rolled his eyes, “Duh.”

“Where’s Otabek?” He asked after the door was closed and Yuri was leading him towards the kitchen where he immediately placed all of the bags.  Yuri was already reaching for the toast he found on one of the take out containers. 

“Sleeping.” The young blonde answered after he perched himself on the counter, “I swear to god, that guy can sleep during the fucking apocalypse and not even flinch.” Yuuri only smiled while he slowly took out the food from their bags as the singer watched every move he made. “Seriously though, you got all these in 15 minutes?”

His manager only nodded, “I know your routine, Yura. I know that you’d wake up before noon and ordered the food ahead of time.”

Yuri wasn’t sure on how to react to that. “There’s toast, obviously.” He frowned when the manager pointed at the piece of bread hanging on his mouth. “Pancakes, fruit. Bacon and sausages, I hope Otabek is not on a meat-free diet?” Yuri only shrugged. “Anyway, there’s also some omelette somewhere and I got you coffee.” He handed Yuri a to-go cup from one of the many brown bags. 

“I can’t believe you.” Yuri could only shake his head. He knew that his managers were efficient, but he was more used on them being absolutely disgusting to think of anything else. 

“I got you clothes too,” He managed to summon a small duffel, Yuri didn’t even notice it was hanging on his shoulder. “I knew that you were soaked last night and I don’t think Otabek’s clothes would fit you well. Did you take a warm bath?”

“You’re such a mom.” Yuri tried his best to hide his blush; his manager’s words bringing forth a pleasant memory that was somewhat related to having a warm bath. He did more than taking a warm bath, that was for sure. 

“But I am your mom, Yura.” Katsudon answered in a _what-are-you-saying_ look. “Been your mother for so long, actually.”

Yuri wanted to shout, the Katsuki-Nikiforov couple have repeatedly joked about being his parents for such a long time that opposing was a natural response. But in the presence of all the food, the clothes and the overwhelming thought that they have been there for him in all of his fuck-ups stopped Yuri’s big mouth in shouting yet again. So he just looked away and quietly sipped on his coffee. 

“Now, I also got you this.” Yuri turned to look at him again and watched him produce a small pouch. “I got you a toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant.” Now, he felt like a kid who was about to attend his very first sleepover and his mother packing his shit for him, “Your favourite cologne is here too, mouthwash, lube, a box of condoms—”

“Wha—” Yuri spluttered, his face burning red again. 

“Now, I know you know this—”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Yuri wanted to shout, but he might wake his slumbering boyfriend. 

“Consent and safety are sexy—”

“Oh my god—” Yuri could only hide his face away, blush overtaking his face. 

“I don’t know what you guys did last night and I’m not sure if Otabek had enough supplies—”

“Look,” Yuri faced him, face still red in anger and embarrassment. “Shut up. We talked and whether or not we did something else that’s none of your fucking business—” Normally he would shout his frustration, but he doesn’t really want Otabek’s unfriendly morning ass to hear this type of conversation. 

“I know, Yura but still—”

“Just fucking go, please?” He begged. He was too old for _the talk._

“Okay, okay.” Yuuri laughed like he fucking knew how torturous his fucking words were and still he enjoyed saying them just to see his ward’s pained reaction. “I’ll go before you explode and trigger Viktor’s sixth sense on you.” He patted Yuri’s messy blonde locks and the singer didn’t have enough strength to fight his hand away. “You and I both know he can cause chaos if it’s for you.” 

Yuri didn’t want to comment on that, he knew that they care a lot for him and sometimes it was too overwhelming. But it was the good kind and Yuri knew that he would always appreciate it and had long ago swore he’d never take them for granted. 

“Well, I’ll see myself out. I’ll lock the door for you guys.” Yuuri said before he turned and Yuri fought the urge to give him a fucking hug. “Text, if you need anything, yeah?”

The door closed with Yuri’s face still in dominating scarlet. His heart was still beating wildly after the ideas that Katsudon planted in his head, the lube and condoms only lead to one thing. Of course he was excited to finally go all the way with his boyfriend. He had spent months pining and basically lusting after Otabek Altin, but at the same time he wanted to delay the satisfaction of his urges. 

He doesn’t want Otabek to think that he was only after the physical part. 

No, Yuri wants all of Otabek Altin. And if he doesn’t really want to have full on sex until they’re 40 then so be it — 

The sound of footsteps made him look up and was surprised by the zombified image of his boyfriend. 

Yuri could only blush further. His man was still bare from the waist-up, his sweat pants still low on his hips and he still looked liked a mother fucking sex god even with his usual morning grumpy look. 

His eyes were all squinty as if the morning light was physically hurting him and Yuri expected him to go towards the fridge or maybe the feast on the kitchen island so he could slowly pull his soul back to his body to start being a functioning human being again.

But Otabek only stopped in front of Yuri, parted his legs, slipped in between his thighs and glued himself to the shocked blonde — arms twined lazily to gather Yuri in his embrace. His head was heavy on Yuri’s shoulder and the young singer wasn’t sure if he should squeal in delight  because his boyfriend was fucking adorable or blush further due to the same reason.

“Beka?” He muttered, arms awkward on Otabek’s sides as he still held a cup of coffee on one of his hands.

“5 minutes.” Otabek whispered and Yuri felt the relaxed sigh on his shoulder. It was like Otabek was still in bed and he just rolled to his side and he did not just walk the small distance from the bedroom to the kitchen with his consciousness barely there. 

Yuri could only position himself in a manner that would be comfortable for him while he was being subjected into a bear hug by a zombified grizzly. 

His free hand went around Otabek’s waist and lazily stroked the skin there as he rested his chin on one bare shoulder. From time to time, he’d take the risky move of sipping his coffee. 

Yuri didn’t realise he was humming until Otabek called him out for it, saying that he was a noisy pillow. The blonde could only laugh. “Excuse me? I sound amazing.”

“You do, just not until noon.” The _until-I-wake-up_ remained unsaid but Otabek seemed to slowly wake up because he was parting himself from their cuddle. Yuri wanted to hold him there forever, but even his shoulder was getting uncomfortable. 

Yuri watched him look at the feast on the island and enjoyed the confused look on his face. “Katsudon delivered. Apparently, a feast was ready and was only waiting for my signal.”

“There’s food in the pantry.” Otabek answered before opening a package of fruit and taking an apple slice. 

Yuri didn’t know about the food, “I didn’t want to assume—” Otabek fed him a slice before reaching for Yuri’s coffee even if there’s an obvious Venti cup with his fucking name on the island. “There’s coffee for you too, you know.”

Otabek only shrugged and helped himself with more food. Yuri could only watch him slowly be himself again and fully accepted the fact that he would really be the one assigned to cook breakfast moving forward. He signed a mental note to ask Katsudon for cooking lessons during his break. Of course his grandfather, by default, would offer to teach him too. 

“So,” Otabek started, “A break?” He was leaning on the island table and was directly in front of Yuri where it was easy to pass the cup between them. Yuri was back to closing his legs and locking his ankles together. He nodded at Otabek’s question. “For how long?”

He shrugged, “Not sure yet. I mean, when Viktor and Katsudon offered it, they were not specific about it.” They didn’t push him, nor hinted at a possible time frame too. “I like to think of it as them saying _‘take your time._ ”

It took awhile for Otabek to reply, like he was considering his words before laying it on Yuri. “They’re very good to you.”

Yuri scoffed, he won’t deny it but he can’t help but remember how Otabek got into his concert in the first place. “They tried to buy you out, despite of me telling them no.”

Otabek shrugged, “Yeah, that was a little pride damaging.” Yuri wilted a little, “But they’re very good to you. Were they the ones you keep on calling while we were on the road?”

“You noticed that?”

He shrugged again and the blush on his tan cheeks were definitely noticed by Yuri, “It was kind of hard to remove my eyes off of you, Yura. Of course I noticed.” He said it in an easy but shy voice like he was stating about the obvious weather. 

Yuri did not just have fucking butterflies in his stomach. 

“Don’t act shy now,” Otabek had the nerve to smirk at him and boyfriend or not, Yuri’s default reaction was to glare, “I know you know I steal glances at you.” Yuri knew but he thought it was his wretched heart who was making shit up. He rolled his eyes but had to bite down on his lips to stop the huge smile that was starting to blossom on his lips. 

Yuri had to cover it up by drinking more coffee while Otabek continued to look so pleased with himself. 

“Where’s your sister?” He has been wondering about that for awhile now. Wasn’t Otabek supposed to be helping with the move?

“With her boyfriend, helping him move. So, I,” he gesture at the living room, “Am stuck with her stuff while she helped him out with his. Great, right?”

“I can help.” He offered. He knew packing; had spent his entire life doing it. 

“Oh don’t worry, I already had a few boxes assigned to you.” Because of course he had to be a smart ass still.

“Are they moving to Almaty?” Yuri hesitatingly asked. He didn’t want to assume anything and the part _are you staying in Almaty_ remained unsaid. 

Otabek nodded, but the look on his face told Yuri that he knew what Yuri was really asking and the blonde almost squirmed, “It depends.”

“Depends on?”

“Which university accepts me first.” He answered Yuri’s unvoiced question.

Yuri’s eyes went wide at the revelation. “You applied? Where?” Yuri rarely feel proud for someone else, but whenever it happens, it was always a different kind of warmth. He was proud when his managers got married, although he was silent about it and cried to his grandfather for a solid hour like an overwhelmed kid. He was proud when his grandfather finally passed his driver’s license at the solid age of 73. He offered a Ferrari but of course, the humble man declined. 

This, Otabek applying for college was something he thought he would only witness in his dreams, but here they were. 

“Almaty, New York, there’s also an interesting course in LA…” Otabek took a piece of pancake before adding, “Here.”

“Here?”

“Yeah, here.”

“No way.” Yuri looked down, a little embarrassed at how enthusiastic he was. It was easier to reach Otabek if he’d choose to be on the same city as Yuri. Of course he’d offer to move wherever Otabek will go, they don’t even have to stay in one house, but it would be nice to be in the same location. “How long does your course go?”

“Not sure yet, but the online courses I applied to only last for 29 months so…”

“Online?” Yuri frowned.

“Yeah, I mean, I still have to work most days, you know.” Otabek explained like it was no brainer before he handed Yuri a slice of fruit, to which the blonde eagerly took and blushed when a thumb cleaned the juices on his lower lip. 

Yuri took his time to chew the fruit while he watch Otabek lick the said thumb. This time, it was a different kind of heat that warmed him. “Speaking about work, what do you do when you’re not rescuing dumb singers off the road?”

“You already know that I DJ’ed before but I’m also a mechanic.” Otabek shrugged, “I build bikes.”

 _Wow._ Yuri thought it was more of a hobby, but Otabek actually earned from making bikes? How cool was it to earn from something that you liked doing, plus he DJs too. Yuri won’t be the best judge on it because he was performing for a living after all, but, _god, he’s so cool._ “Will you build me a bike one day?” He asked, excited.

“Why do you need one when you can ride me…” Did he just, “I mean, ride _with me.”_ He corrected himself but that smirk on his lips tells Yuri otherwise. 

“Shut up,” Yuri replied, because he honestly can’t say anything else when the man of his dreams had thrown an innuendo at him. For additional effects, he attempted to kick the man across him but he wasn’t near enough to actually graze Otabek. 

Otabek just laughed, “Why do you even need one?” He asked before he moved to scratch a collarbone and made sure to drag his palm across his torso. Yuri’s eyes followed it, barely conscious that he was staring with obvious want. 

“Eyes up, Yura.” Blushing furiously at being caught, Yuri yelled his frustration and hid his face in his hands again, Otabek just continued laughing. 

“Then stop what you’re doing!” He felt hands circling his wrists but it did not force his hands away from his face. 

“Doing what?” Butterfly kisses on his knuckles.

“That!” He threw his hands away and glared at Otabek for making him willingly do that. His face was burning and he was so sure that he looked more of a kitten than an actual tiger. He fought off a smile when Otabek wiggled his hips to force his legs apart. 

“What’s ‘ _that’?_ ” 

“Stop making me horny, asshole!” Yuri shouted and he couldn’t help but laugh back because Otabek actually frowned like an innocent child, albeit disappointed, when Yuri’s legs didn’t give way for him. The guy looked at him and he looked so adorable that Yuri had to roll his eyes and spread his thighs again to let him come between them. 

The frown turned into a suave reaction again and Yuri had to raise an eyebrow at his change of emotion right away. He felt whipped already. 

Otabek took Yuri’s hands and moved them so he had them locked on his boyfriend’s nape. Otabek’s own was already on his hips. It didn’t take long for their lips to lock again. 

Yuri can’t believe he has this. To have someone so overwhelming and so careful with him. To have someone that makes him feel like vulnerable glass and unbreakable tower at the same time. Yuri gathered Otabek closer. And it felt marvellous to have Otabek do the same. 

“And that’s a problem, how?” Otabek whispered before diving to claim another kiss. 

Yuri hummed, brain turning to mush after a swipe of Otabek’s tongue on his own. “What?”

“Me.” A kiss. “Making you horny.”

Yuri smirked and pulled Otabek off from him with a fistful of his black locks. “Are you taking full responsibility?”

Otabek smirked too, but he wasn’t able to hold it long enough because a smile was fighting to dominate his lips. Yuri can’t help but mirror it. “All the way, baby!” 

Yuri squealed when Otabek carried him off the counter and by instinct, he locked his legs around his boyfriend’s hips and suddenly Otabek was brisk-walking towards the bedroom. Yuri could only tighten his hold while laughing.

That is before he saw something on the counter.

“Wait, wait, wait!”

“What?”

Yuri pointed at the innocent black bag. “Grab that pouch!”

 

 

_**FIN** _

_[Click here to subscribe for the incoming sequel.](https://archiveofourown.org/series/981108) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand so it ends. I'm actually planning to have a oneshot sequel for this but it's not fully constructed yet. Anyhow, I hope you like Yellow as much as I loved writing and creating it. It's been a roller coaster ride and I thank you guys for giving this some time and thought. See you next level?


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